So, I followed Tarrus back to his apartment. Or what I thought was his apartment. He grabs some bags out of the truck he was driving and engages my help in bringing them up to the apartment. I am in no way a bag mover unless it has something inside showing proof of purchase. Other than that I am a director, I will tell you where you can put that other shit. On the way up he explains that his "roommate" is inside and we will have to be quiet. He also ask if it is ok to go back to my place. I oblige in his requests and due to being beat from all that dancing and having several Mill drinks I was in a very good mood. We were inside for all of five minutes. He packs a bag and we are off again.
We get back outside and he follows me to my car. This is where my brain wakes the fuck up. "Um, aren't you going to take your truck so you will have a way back", I ask. He says that is his roommates truck and don't worry he know how to catch the metro. We are in Arlington, Va and I live in Mt. Rainier, MD. I chuckle to myself cause I know it is going to be hell for him to get home from my side. But I'll be goddamed if I'm taking him back. So, we get to my place and do the do. The dick was just as cute as he is. Long and thick, points down a bit. But the experience wasn't what I expected. While laying there, looking at the ceiling, I thought, "Wow another big dicked muthafucka who has no idea what he is doing," After laying there taking more pain than pleasure I hurry up and bust to get him off me. (Hell, even when he was eatting me out it hurt). I knew that it wasn't going to get any better for me no matter how much he kept repeating, "This sum good ass, this some good ass, this some good ass!" YAWN. I helped him get a nut, went to wash up and before I could get back with a towel for his ass he is fast asleep! I lay there watching him sleep and something in me began to stir. Even with the bad sex somehow I seemed to have enjoyed myself. I lay there confused and drift off to sleep.
I wake up to trade saying, "Whats for breakfast?" I said nothing, I gotta go to school for four hours so you are going to have to leave. He gives me a hug and says he'll be waiting. Truly, I didn't want to leave him here but that same thing that was pulling at me before I went to sleep gave me a reassuring pat saying its only for four hours. I left out of here with everything that meant something to me. Wallet, checkbook, pictures, nikels, dimes, and pennies. I just knew all of my shit was going to be gone and I wouldn't have a phone number or address to track it back down. I went to school on pins and needles and could not concentrate on the tasks I was given. I couldnt drive back home fast enough when school was out. And he was still here, playing some damn video game on my computer and watching tv. He smiles and gives me a hug. For some odd reason I am immediately put at ease. I cook us a breakfast of pancakes, eggs, sausage, and bacon. I am so ready for him to go so I can find my next peice of trade. But something is drawing me to him, we have common interests and thoughts. He has a brain and a dick. He is able to carry on intellectual conversations. He knows who Phyllis Hyman is!
I find out that he is 9 years older than me, has a twenty-five year old son (if you do the math you will find out that he was twelve years old when this child was born, two days before his thirteenth b'day) and a five year old grandson. He has fallen on hard times. Due to the recession, he lost his six figure salary job, mercedes, and condo. He is staying with a "friend" who is "helping him out." We hang out everyday and have been doing that for three weeks now. I know that friend in Virginia is his lover or soon to be ex-lover no matter how much he denies it or maybe I just want something to show he is just like the others- a liar. He has started to say he loves me. How can that be after three weeks of knowing someone? Hell, I rarely use those words on family members. He gives me what little money he can and we really seem to be enjoying each others company.
I am being blinded by that strange feeling you get when a simple touch of the skin can send shivers down your back. I pray to God that I am not being used and taken advantage of. I am trying my best to give this guy a chance and also give myself a chance of further healing. I even swore off getting dicked down from anyone else. My trade bottom has been calling, the mailman wants some more, the jamaican, even the army captain gave me a call. I told them all I was involved with someone. That was hard, especially for my trade bottom.
What can I do? All I know is to watch my back and not to become so blinded that I let him run all over me and take advantage of my kindness. I guess I'll just have to take it a day at a time.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
A strange place
Hello All!!! Sorry about such a lapse in my blogging. The sun has came out and so has the boys. In all of my glory I welcomed the sunshine with open arms. It was time to play. You know how people take their problems to the altar? I take mine to the dancefloor. But in that process I found myself is a strange but yet familiar place, a relationship. GASP!!! Yes, I said it. But trust it was not something I set out to find. It found me.
I was involved in an abusive relationship a little over three years ago. That time scarred me mentally and physically and yes I still have the marks to prove it. It took me a long time to put myself back together again. I suffered in silence. The devil sure knows how to kick someone when they are down. I allowed myself to be in harms way for eight long months before I woke up. It took me another eight months to build up the courage to show face again. I vowed to never go through that again and knock on wood, I haven't since.
But that relationship put every other one in a bad spot. I trusted no one but my good good friends and was quick to get my fuck on and discard a person like yesterday's trash. I made it a point to not get feelings involved with sex. I soon found that within a week of meeting someone their name would be forgotten along with the experience. And I have been blissfully happy with that arrangement.
On May 28th, I found myself on the dancefloor at the legendary Bachelor's Mill. It was a couple of days after Black Pride so the place was still packed and full of life. The house music was serving the beats, and I was on the dancefloor working it out. Anyone who has been to the Mill knows that as the people come in so does the heat. I took a break from dancing to go get some air. I came back in and decided to check out the little space they reserve for hip-hop music. The trade in there were so over. Believe it or not I am a shy person. I never have the balls to walk up to someone and ask to dance. Some song came on that I liked and I found myself on the dancefloor dropping it like its hot. (I so have my Alex from Noah's Arc moments, remember when Noah took Wade to the gay club and his friends followed without him knowing? And Alex was like that's my song!)
In the process of shaking it, this brother comes up to dance with me. He's about 5'10", chocolate, somewhat muscular, bald head. Cute, I thought. We hit it off and had fun. We chatted and I figured that would be the end of that. I heard another beat in the House music side and left to go put it down some more. He followed and we danced up a storm there. The night came to an end and he asked me to follow him back to his apartment. I knew where that was leading but after such a night I said, what the hell??
I was involved in an abusive relationship a little over three years ago. That time scarred me mentally and physically and yes I still have the marks to prove it. It took me a long time to put myself back together again. I suffered in silence. The devil sure knows how to kick someone when they are down. I allowed myself to be in harms way for eight long months before I woke up. It took me another eight months to build up the courage to show face again. I vowed to never go through that again and knock on wood, I haven't since.
But that relationship put every other one in a bad spot. I trusted no one but my good good friends and was quick to get my fuck on and discard a person like yesterday's trash. I made it a point to not get feelings involved with sex. I soon found that within a week of meeting someone their name would be forgotten along with the experience. And I have been blissfully happy with that arrangement.
On May 28th, I found myself on the dancefloor at the legendary Bachelor's Mill. It was a couple of days after Black Pride so the place was still packed and full of life. The house music was serving the beats, and I was on the dancefloor working it out. Anyone who has been to the Mill knows that as the people come in so does the heat. I took a break from dancing to go get some air. I came back in and decided to check out the little space they reserve for hip-hop music. The trade in there were so over. Believe it or not I am a shy person. I never have the balls to walk up to someone and ask to dance. Some song came on that I liked and I found myself on the dancefloor dropping it like its hot. (I so have my Alex from Noah's Arc moments, remember when Noah took Wade to the gay club and his friends followed without him knowing? And Alex was like that's my song!)
In the process of shaking it, this brother comes up to dance with me. He's about 5'10", chocolate, somewhat muscular, bald head. Cute, I thought. We hit it off and had fun. We chatted and I figured that would be the end of that. I heard another beat in the House music side and left to go put it down some more. He followed and we danced up a storm there. The night came to an end and he asked me to follow him back to his apartment. I knew where that was leading but after such a night I said, what the hell??
Friday, June 5, 2009
Fast Forward
Hello All!!! Been trying my best to catch up on these posts. Where shall I start?
Court. I went to court in Arlington May 18 because of my wreckless driving ticket. I was leaving this cute piece of spanish trade house and on cloud nine. How was I suppose to know I was driving over 90 miles per hour?? So in Virginia, if you are driving 20 miles or more over the speed limit its wreckless and a misdemeanor punishable with up to 12 months in jail, a $2,500 fee plus $61 in court fees. I came to court looking o so fabulous. I plead guilty with an explanation. I didn't say anything about leaving the trade's house but I did mention being tired and apologized to "all of the citizens of the commonwealth for putting them in danger." The judge has involuntarily enrolled me in driving school the first three Wednesdays in June and collected 200 coins from me. I have final sentencing on August 4th.
I met a 6'5" mailman and did the do with him. More on him later.
DC Pride. I have made a conscious decision to avoid all pride activities for the last 2 years due to it just being so out of the norm for DC activities. This year I made an exception. I needed to let off some steam. I started my activities on Friday at the Fireplace over in Dupont Circle. It was packed to the brim with a line outside. Who stands in line to get into the Fireplace??!! That place has always been on the "bottom" of my party list but the drinks are cheap and definitely do the trick. I first ran into a couple of trannies outside who wished me a Happy Pride. Then this spanish queen tried to get my number at the traffic light as I was trying to cross P street. Then I saw my friend Ronald who gave me a big hug and we caught up with each other while standing in line. Auuuggh, a line at the Fireplace?? Finally got inside and gave them my coins. It was so packed I couldnt even get to the bar. So I checked out the boys. It was cute. Saw this Sigma dude I use to fuck with. He ruined my evening, stalking my ass. After I got tired of him I left. This muthafucka is still texting me, and calling me to this day. So damn desperate. I hate that shit.
I left the Fireplace and went to the legendary Bachelor's Mill. I know it is not the most fabulous place in DC but it turns it every now and then for me. It was jammed packed and I danced my ass off. I sweated like I had played in a NBA championship game. I met some cute boys, and got the numbers of course.
On Saturday, I got up and did some shopping. H&M, Urban Outfitters, American Eagle, etc. I'm not much of a shoe person. I did try to find some shoes but as usual I left empty handed on shoes. I saw this trade at the shoe store. Thats probably the reason why I couldnt find shoes, I was too busy looking at him, lol
Court. I went to court in Arlington May 18 because of my wreckless driving ticket. I was leaving this cute piece of spanish trade house and on cloud nine. How was I suppose to know I was driving over 90 miles per hour?? So in Virginia, if you are driving 20 miles or more over the speed limit its wreckless and a misdemeanor punishable with up to 12 months in jail, a $2,500 fee plus $61 in court fees. I came to court looking o so fabulous. I plead guilty with an explanation. I didn't say anything about leaving the trade's house but I did mention being tired and apologized to "all of the citizens of the commonwealth for putting them in danger." The judge has involuntarily enrolled me in driving school the first three Wednesdays in June and collected 200 coins from me. I have final sentencing on August 4th.
I met a 6'5" mailman and did the do with him. More on him later.
DC Pride. I have made a conscious decision to avoid all pride activities for the last 2 years due to it just being so out of the norm for DC activities. This year I made an exception. I needed to let off some steam. I started my activities on Friday at the Fireplace over in Dupont Circle. It was packed to the brim with a line outside. Who stands in line to get into the Fireplace??!! That place has always been on the "bottom" of my party list but the drinks are cheap and definitely do the trick. I first ran into a couple of trannies outside who wished me a Happy Pride. Then this spanish queen tried to get my number at the traffic light as I was trying to cross P street. Then I saw my friend Ronald who gave me a big hug and we caught up with each other while standing in line. Auuuggh, a line at the Fireplace?? Finally got inside and gave them my coins. It was so packed I couldnt even get to the bar. So I checked out the boys. It was cute. Saw this Sigma dude I use to fuck with. He ruined my evening, stalking my ass. After I got tired of him I left. This muthafucka is still texting me, and calling me to this day. So damn desperate. I hate that shit.
I left the Fireplace and went to the legendary Bachelor's Mill. I know it is not the most fabulous place in DC but it turns it every now and then for me. It was jammed packed and I danced my ass off. I sweated like I had played in a NBA championship game. I met some cute boys, and got the numbers of course.
On Saturday, I got up and did some shopping. H&M, Urban Outfitters, American Eagle, etc. I'm not much of a shoe person. I did try to find some shoes but as usual I left empty handed on shoes. I saw this trade at the shoe store. Thats probably the reason why I couldnt find shoes, I was too busy looking at him, lol
Sunday was brunch with my family. It was cute and the food was over. My new brother, (my former brother-in-law) cooked his ass off. If I wasn't still slightly hungover from the Delta I would have ate up all of that food!
Monday was a extended family pic nic. All of us Blues, Lees and many many others met at Anacostia park. We ate, laughed, kee-keeyed, read each other for blood, and just all around had a perfect time. Even in the rain it was still over.
Tuesday was back to bullshit. Alas!!!!!
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