Hello All. I've been in some kind of relationship now for 2 months and 1 day. My husband decided to treat me yesterday to dinner. I thought it was odd since we didn't do anything special this time last month but I went along to get along as usual. We put our bickering aside and had a nice evening.
I was craving for an Annie's bacon cheeseburger. Yes, I had a cheeseburger for an anniversary dinner. As you all are aware I have no love for the DC food scene. This is not a food city and no place for a southern girl like me who has a love for eatting great food. I have a little over a year left before I will be able to kiss this place goodbye. After I finish my rotations and pass my boards, hopefully before the new year begins, I will be traveling all over this great country in an attempt to identify the next city I will be calling home and I will definitely be checking out the food in each city to gauge whether it would be a good place to call home. That's another thing I like about New York. You can never get tired of eatting in that city with restaraunts on every corner. There are so many different cultures of people there that it is like eatting in a different part of the world everyday. With DC, I have yet to find a favorite place to eat. But, during my tenure in this city, I have fallen in love with cheeseburger's from Annie's.
Annie's is a gay friendly steakhouse located in the gayest section of the city. Its located on 17th street northwest in the midst of numerous other eateries, clubs, and bars. The first time I held a guy's hand in public was on this street. Its a place where I truly feel free to be myself and not worry about being looked at as different. The staff is super friendly and the drinks are something that sneaks up on you. They also have a wine list with numerous words I can't pronounce. This is one time my southern roots make me feel like a complete idiot. I know nothing about wine except that the grape juice my church serves at communion is called wine. I am an eager learner and have found myself yearning for finer things in life, things that are different and unique. Of course this is a white establishment but it is one place that always treats me as its number one customer on each visit. I even showed up there once in full drag with some friends and was still treated with the utmost respect. Fat Joe was even seen once eatting there.
So, I ordered my cheeseburger and I have forgotten what my husband ordered. I started my drinks with a Downtown Manhattan and my husband had a Margaritta on the rocks. My drink was okay but my husband's drink served!!! We ordered two more of those. My best friend stopped by to say hello making the evening even better. The food was great and I was soon stuffed. We left there and went over on U Street to Nellie's Sports bar in hopes on playing Bingo. My drag grandmother AlleyCat Blue, and aunt Sofia Bouvier Carrington were hosting. We got there just as they were finishing up. So we went upstairs to the outside rooftop, chatted and watched the stars and passing cars. To me it was a beautiful evening.
Now, the reason for this post. After such a beautiful evening, my husband and I made our way home and cuddled up on the couch. I noticed a text message on my phone from the 19 year old. I've talked about him before. This little boy gave me some of the best dick I've had in a while. I haven't seen him in over a month and I told him I had a man so it was strange to see a text message from him. The first thing that went through my mind is that he must be in some kind of trouble. Since I've met him, he has been in a very unstable situation. He moves about alot, and has been forced to sleep wherever someone will take him in. He is another brother who is lost and it pains me to see him in the struggle. He has no job or job prospects, his beloved grandmother died and I don't know whats going on with his current family situation since he refuses to talk about it. He basically told me that once again he will be put out. First he asked to borrow some money but come on, you have no job so he could have just asked for some money. I asked how much did he need and he asked how much can I spare. This is where I got pissed because I saw that I was being taken for a fool. Then he asked if he could stay with me until he "gets himself together."
If I wasn't in a relationship, or had my husband here all the time I would have said yes. I think this young man is intelligent but yet needs direction. When I was 19, I was in college and spent most of my free time with my great-uncle and his wife. They fed me, washed my clothes and treated me as their son. Even to this day they still do that whenever I visit them. My uncle showed me how to bowl, took me fishing, and was there whenever I needed to talk. His wife stepped in with money whenever I needed it and gave me love even though she wasn't my blood relative. The 19 year old is hilarious in my opinion and I wanted him to go down to the DC Improv to start a career in comedy because I truly see the beginnings of a great. He has a gift that need a little nurturing and he needs a break from life itself. I truly wish I could have provided a roof over his head and could help him but if I want this relationship I'm in to survive I can't move in a dick I still have cravings for.
So what is a good faggot to do? And why am I finding myself being a sugar mama lately? I got one nigga here already in a similar situation as the 19 year old. I thank God that I have learned how to budget money. My mom got me a checking account when I turned 16 and my money skill have only gotten better over the years. But how far can I stretch what I have? How many people can I help? When is enough really enough? But when I need help its like talking to a wall. My board exams will be expensive and a full 5 months before I will be taking them I already know I won't have the money. Who is going to step in to help me?
I'm going to keep him in my prayers and wish the best for him. But I truly wish I could help him. I worry about him. I wonder if he's hungry? Maybe I should call to check on him or maybe I should just leave it alone? DAMN!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
An outing with the husband
Hello All!!! The husband and I had a little outing last Friday night. He had been telling me all week how he wanted to go over someone's house he knew to play cards. I was a little less than enthused about going but to please my man I said yes. The things he likes to do I seem to be the exact opposite. On Tuesday's he usually goes to the Bachelor's Mill to meet with his old friends to play cards. He dragged me to that a couple of times and I was bored out of my mind. I ended up putting all my dollar bills into the jukebox and played DJ for an hour or so. On Thursday's he out bowling with a league he's in. He always looses his money there so I have to keep a watch on how much he takes. I haven't been out to that because the mailman that I have talked about in other posts is also a member of a different league that bowls at the same place. I don't wanna go there and start some shit between them. The mailman stands at 6'5" and weighs at least 220lbs. My husband is all of 5'10", maybe 165lbs. If the mailman falls on him he will need a doctor.
Anyway, last Friday night I went to support my man. We arrived at the monstrosity that DC calls row houses around 10PM. These are crampped boxes with stairs only big enough for one person slathered together in a row side by side. I wouldn't dare live in one of those things. Then the natives here have the nerve to paint them different colors. Looks like somthing right out of the 70's. These things have to be an interior decorator's worse nightmare and a fashionista's greatest opponent to closet space.
Before we could even get up to the house some old man was outside gawking at me. I felt so uncomfortable. He made some kind of comment on how my husband has robbed the crib that for some odd reason he thought was funny. Punched his ass(the husband not the old man)in the side for that one. Already off to a bad start. The host came and greeted us and invited us in. I could already tell some overzealous queen decorated. The plants were way too huge for the space so was the furniture. There was a mirror at every turn and avon ordered assortments all over the place. The carpet looked like it was put down the day I was torn from my mother's womb and the house reeked of moth balls and old potpurri.
We were led down into the basement whose door had a mirror on the back of it. Really? Is a mirror really needed on the back of a basement door. There were about 15 other people down there already sitting at three different tables playing cards. Our host was very gracious as he/she led us to all the tables and introduced me to everyone. I only knew one person there-- Ms. Monet Dupree, a drag queen/transexual who performs on Wednesday's down at the Mill. She looked a mess. Her face was overpainted, wig looked like it belonged on someone's dead grandfather, nails painted the brightest red I've ever seen and her feet were in major need of a pedicure. O God! My husband already knew everyone so he was off conversating. The host showed me were the drinks were and got me a spot to sit. I fixed me some lemonade and sat down to think about how I could escape from this situation. The host came back to check on me about 10 minutes later. She said it was food upstairs and asked if I wanted some. Now being from the deep south I have never been to someone's house and turned down food. In my hometown that is considered an insult. I forgot that I was no longer in Aliceville, Alabama. I went into the kitchen to find more mirrors, more plants and a metal shelf with canned foods and other non-perishables on it. Most people keep things like that in something called a pantry or at least a kitchen cabinet but due to these row houses there is no room.
The host had fixed a quick chilli and rice. The chilli looked fine but the rice was a mess. It totally looked like grits. It was stuck together in a steaming heap. She totally overcooked it. I grabbed two spoonfulls and some chlli and made my way back to the basement. Within three bites my stomach had started to grumble. I shoved it down as best I could trying to be nice. I soon had to go pee and went to the bathroom upstairs. It was also decorated by someone's great-great grand aunt. Opened the top of the toilet to find shit stains all in the bowl. I pissed as fast as I could. I later found out from my husband that Ms. Dupree went in there before me and blowed it up. Doesn't she know its not lady like to be shitting in public? I got ahold of my best friend Sebastian and she came to picked me up.
I was so happy to get out of there. We rode around the streets of DC for an hour or so. Went on U street which looked like Times Square. There were people everywhere. Rode to the gayest part of the city, DuPont Circle, then went over to the "straight" nightclubs that I said I would start to frequent. I think the name of it was Ibiza or something like that. I use to go to Lux Lounge when it was called The Avenue but I looked at that line as we passed by and was like Whitney, "O Hell Naw!" That line was around the block. Ibiza's crowed looked cute though. Trade was everywhere. I gotta check that out. Then we rode down to Ziegfield's which is another club where there is a mix of strippers and drag queens. When I first discovered that place it was in southeast DC and was the best spot in the summertime for cruising the boys. It was in an industrial part of the city then but had the US capitol building in its backdrop. The new baseball stadium shut it doors but it relocated a stones throw from there in Southwest DC. I stood my ass out in the freezing cold back in March for almost two hours for its grand opening. It is still a cute place to be if you wanna go and just loose yourself.
Sebastian and I chatted and caught up and I was sad to see the evening end when he dropped my ass back off at that house. I hung around there for another 30 minutes before my stomach was really giving "O no Ma'am" and had to make my way home. My husband said he would catch a ride back. My husband claimed later Sunday that his stomach was tore up. I had to chuckle to myself on that one.
Do you know that niggah brought his ass home around 7AM!!? I let him have it! I know I am not right all the time but I wouldn't dare let the sun beat me home, weekend or not. Ya'll please pray for me! Until next time, smoochies!
Anyway, last Friday night I went to support my man. We arrived at the monstrosity that DC calls row houses around 10PM. These are crampped boxes with stairs only big enough for one person slathered together in a row side by side. I wouldn't dare live in one of those things. Then the natives here have the nerve to paint them different colors. Looks like somthing right out of the 70's. These things have to be an interior decorator's worse nightmare and a fashionista's greatest opponent to closet space.
Before we could even get up to the house some old man was outside gawking at me. I felt so uncomfortable. He made some kind of comment on how my husband has robbed the crib that for some odd reason he thought was funny. Punched his ass(the husband not the old man)in the side for that one. Already off to a bad start. The host came and greeted us and invited us in. I could already tell some overzealous queen decorated. The plants were way too huge for the space so was the furniture. There was a mirror at every turn and avon ordered assortments all over the place. The carpet looked like it was put down the day I was torn from my mother's womb and the house reeked of moth balls and old potpurri.
We were led down into the basement whose door had a mirror on the back of it. Really? Is a mirror really needed on the back of a basement door. There were about 15 other people down there already sitting at three different tables playing cards. Our host was very gracious as he/she led us to all the tables and introduced me to everyone. I only knew one person there-- Ms. Monet Dupree, a drag queen/transexual who performs on Wednesday's down at the Mill. She looked a mess. Her face was overpainted, wig looked like it belonged on someone's dead grandfather, nails painted the brightest red I've ever seen and her feet were in major need of a pedicure. O God! My husband already knew everyone so he was off conversating. The host showed me were the drinks were and got me a spot to sit. I fixed me some lemonade and sat down to think about how I could escape from this situation. The host came back to check on me about 10 minutes later. She said it was food upstairs and asked if I wanted some. Now being from the deep south I have never been to someone's house and turned down food. In my hometown that is considered an insult. I forgot that I was no longer in Aliceville, Alabama. I went into the kitchen to find more mirrors, more plants and a metal shelf with canned foods and other non-perishables on it. Most people keep things like that in something called a pantry or at least a kitchen cabinet but due to these row houses there is no room.
The host had fixed a quick chilli and rice. The chilli looked fine but the rice was a mess. It totally looked like grits. It was stuck together in a steaming heap. She totally overcooked it. I grabbed two spoonfulls and some chlli and made my way back to the basement. Within three bites my stomach had started to grumble. I shoved it down as best I could trying to be nice. I soon had to go pee and went to the bathroom upstairs. It was also decorated by someone's great-great grand aunt. Opened the top of the toilet to find shit stains all in the bowl. I pissed as fast as I could. I later found out from my husband that Ms. Dupree went in there before me and blowed it up. Doesn't she know its not lady like to be shitting in public? I got ahold of my best friend Sebastian and she came to picked me up.
I was so happy to get out of there. We rode around the streets of DC for an hour or so. Went on U street which looked like Times Square. There were people everywhere. Rode to the gayest part of the city, DuPont Circle, then went over to the "straight" nightclubs that I said I would start to frequent. I think the name of it was Ibiza or something like that. I use to go to Lux Lounge when it was called The Avenue but I looked at that line as we passed by and was like Whitney, "O Hell Naw!" That line was around the block. Ibiza's crowed looked cute though. Trade was everywhere. I gotta check that out. Then we rode down to Ziegfield's which is another club where there is a mix of strippers and drag queens. When I first discovered that place it was in southeast DC and was the best spot in the summertime for cruising the boys. It was in an industrial part of the city then but had the US capitol building in its backdrop. The new baseball stadium shut it doors but it relocated a stones throw from there in Southwest DC. I stood my ass out in the freezing cold back in March for almost two hours for its grand opening. It is still a cute place to be if you wanna go and just loose yourself.
Sebastian and I chatted and caught up and I was sad to see the evening end when he dropped my ass back off at that house. I hung around there for another 30 minutes before my stomach was really giving "O no Ma'am" and had to make my way home. My husband said he would catch a ride back. My husband claimed later Sunday that his stomach was tore up. I had to chuckle to myself on that one.
Do you know that niggah brought his ass home around 7AM!!? I let him have it! I know I am not right all the time but I wouldn't dare let the sun beat me home, weekend or not. Ya'll please pray for me! Until next time, smoochies!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Friends & Money
Happy Sunday everyone!!! I had this weekend off from work so I have been laying around the house like one ol nasty faggot. I am in dire need of a shave, manicure, and haircut. All I've done is rolled out the bed, showered, ate a bunch of junkfood, and half-heartedly watched The Wendy Williams Show. That is one ugly bitch!
It has been one glorious weekend seeing that me and my husband/boy toy/parasite went to the countryside of Pennsylvania last weekend so he could be in a bowling tournament. He lost his entire paycheck trying to win and I didn't even get any dick! I was going to turn that room out at this beautiful hotel we were staying in. But the bitch at reservations put all of the league players on the same floor. I truly believe he was scared someone would hear us. O God, CeCe Penniston is on the Wendy Williams Show singing one of my favorite songs right now----------FINALLY. Sing Bitch!!! Hold on, I gotta go dance.
Ok, I'm back. I just broke a little sweat dancing to that. That song takes it back. Anyway. I don't know why he was faking, we were the only two dudes in one room on the floor. I wasted a good FLEET's on him that night. All the bottoms out there know about those FLEETS. Thats 0k, I'm going to make sure to PAINT him a good memory! LOL
Anyway, the reason for this post. I loaned one of my good good friends a little money last month. For this particular friend, I never have a problem lending them money because they have stepped in to help me countless times, not only financially but also by being a good listener, a shoulder to cry on, a fashion inspiration (that bitch dresses her ass off), teacher, and all around more friend than I could every pray for.
But I was deeply disturbed to get a text saying they were going out to a birthday party on the Potomac River. I felt like I had been slapped on the left and right cheek, kicked in the stomach and then fucked by Mr. Marcus, Lexington Steele, and that mule looking Bobby Blake. I was hurt, I was upset. I mean, here I am budgeting the little money I have, working every other weekend, trying to please a man who seems unpleasable, and also trying to handle my business in a doctorate program 8 hours a day with no pay. Sure enough, I have put myself into each of these situations and am the only one who can bring myself out. Due to my dire restraints, I have even given thought to trying out for the amateur stripper contest next Wednesday down at Secrets.
So after this news of the party, I asked for an update on my coins. Now, I was always told never to let someone borrow money unless you can give it without needing it yourself. At the time I was able and am always willing to help out this friend. If they ask, I will always be there for them. I try to do that for all my friends. So after I sent the text regarding the update there was long pause. I am sure that she was thinking that the amount I let her borrow is something I can wipe my ass with but when you have five bills on the table and are thinking which to pay now and which will have to wait till next month any amount is like gold.
I did finally get an accetable explanation as to when I would see my coins and how they were able to attend this party. There are things I would like to do myself. I wanna go to the beach, I haven't been to New York since last September, its time for a visit, my grandmother just had surgery, I wanna go see her, I don't remember the last pair of shoes I bought. Fantasia is here doing the Color Purple at the Kennedy Center, I wanna go. John Legend and India Arie where just here in concert, I wanted to go. All the things I wanna do have to be put on hold. But anyway!
There were no hard feelings left and we carried on our conversation as usual. As for my bills, I have already taken them to God in prayer. When something comes along that I cannot handle thats what I do with it. I have always been the type of person to step out on faith and faith alone. Hell, to move from the backwoods of Alabama to a place with no family, no friends, no one to truly lean on is a feat all its own.
So what did I learn? Something I already knew. When I can't handle something, take it to the Lord in prayer and he will fix it 1000 times better than I ever will.
It has been one glorious weekend seeing that me and my husband/boy toy/parasite went to the countryside of Pennsylvania last weekend so he could be in a bowling tournament. He lost his entire paycheck trying to win and I didn't even get any dick! I was going to turn that room out at this beautiful hotel we were staying in. But the bitch at reservations put all of the league players on the same floor. I truly believe he was scared someone would hear us. O God, CeCe Penniston is on the Wendy Williams Show singing one of my favorite songs right now----------FINALLY. Sing Bitch!!! Hold on, I gotta go dance.
Ok, I'm back. I just broke a little sweat dancing to that. That song takes it back. Anyway. I don't know why he was faking, we were the only two dudes in one room on the floor. I wasted a good FLEET's on him that night. All the bottoms out there know about those FLEETS. Thats 0k, I'm going to make sure to PAINT him a good memory! LOL
Anyway, the reason for this post. I loaned one of my good good friends a little money last month. For this particular friend, I never have a problem lending them money because they have stepped in to help me countless times, not only financially but also by being a good listener, a shoulder to cry on, a fashion inspiration (that bitch dresses her ass off), teacher, and all around more friend than I could every pray for.
But I was deeply disturbed to get a text saying they were going out to a birthday party on the Potomac River. I felt like I had been slapped on the left and right cheek, kicked in the stomach and then fucked by Mr. Marcus, Lexington Steele, and that mule looking Bobby Blake. I was hurt, I was upset. I mean, here I am budgeting the little money I have, working every other weekend, trying to please a man who seems unpleasable, and also trying to handle my business in a doctorate program 8 hours a day with no pay. Sure enough, I have put myself into each of these situations and am the only one who can bring myself out. Due to my dire restraints, I have even given thought to trying out for the amateur stripper contest next Wednesday down at Secrets.
So after this news of the party, I asked for an update on my coins. Now, I was always told never to let someone borrow money unless you can give it without needing it yourself. At the time I was able and am always willing to help out this friend. If they ask, I will always be there for them. I try to do that for all my friends. So after I sent the text regarding the update there was long pause. I am sure that she was thinking that the amount I let her borrow is something I can wipe my ass with but when you have five bills on the table and are thinking which to pay now and which will have to wait till next month any amount is like gold.
I did finally get an accetable explanation as to when I would see my coins and how they were able to attend this party. There are things I would like to do myself. I wanna go to the beach, I haven't been to New York since last September, its time for a visit, my grandmother just had surgery, I wanna go see her, I don't remember the last pair of shoes I bought. Fantasia is here doing the Color Purple at the Kennedy Center, I wanna go. John Legend and India Arie where just here in concert, I wanted to go. All the things I wanna do have to be put on hold. But anyway!
There were no hard feelings left and we carried on our conversation as usual. As for my bills, I have already taken them to God in prayer. When something comes along that I cannot handle thats what I do with it. I have always been the type of person to step out on faith and faith alone. Hell, to move from the backwoods of Alabama to a place with no family, no friends, no one to truly lean on is a feat all its own.
So what did I learn? Something I already knew. When I can't handle something, take it to the Lord in prayer and he will fix it 1000 times better than I ever will.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
My Man?
Hello All. Hope everyone is well. I guess I can say I have a boyfriend now. Shit, he has been with me almost every day since our initial meeting back on May 28th. I came home one day to find clothes and miscellaneous possessions in my house. I knew it as truth when I was washing clothes one day and found draws and clothes that were not mine. This muthafucka has put his shit in with mine. He broke my damn laptop computer too by downloading games and shit. I almost had a heart attack when my baby quit responding. I went the hell off too. That laptop is like my cell phone, an extension that I am lost without.
My mailman trade made a visit one day and he noticed a small bag at the door. I had told all of my fuck buddies that I have a man here and will be unable to frequent their services like I use too. Of course they didn't give a fuck. He asked if the bag was T's and I said yeah. Mailman trade commented that T would be moving in. I denied that saying it would never happen. But day by day I found more of his shit in my house. For example, since my computer is in the shop I am typing this on his desktop computer that he has hooked up for me. I am watching his flat screen plasma 42 inch television while my 32 inch magnavox is in my coat closet. Things around here are changing for the better. I came home today to find the trash taken out, all the dishes washed and my bed made up. What other trade have I had did this kind of shit for me?
He gives me all of his money when he gets paid which he should since he ain't paying not one damn bill. Mailman trade said he should have moved in here. If he wasn't so caught up on keeping me from going out he might have had that chance. Anyway, T lets me do as I please in respect to going out when I want and not trying to tell me what to do, what to say, how to act, etc. It feels good to have someone here to cuddle up to and talk with even though at the time we met I was blissfully happy with the random fucks I was having. I admit that late at night a bit of loneliness would creep up but I have never had a problem finding the next body to fill that void.
But is he truly mine? Yes, he is here ever day. Yeah, we sleep wrapped up with each other but my mind has not settled into claiming that. I am still in the dark about the person he was staying with in Virginia. I still feel like I am just the next conveince to his currently not having his own place. Since the person in Virginia told him he had to leave he may see me as someone whose "southern hospitality" he can take advantage of. As for the sex, its ok. I've had better. He seems to be pleased with it but our sex life needs a boost or trust I will get it from somewhere else. I've decided to take things a day at a time and see where it leads.
My grandmother always told me to watch out for those "city slickers".
My mailman trade made a visit one day and he noticed a small bag at the door. I had told all of my fuck buddies that I have a man here and will be unable to frequent their services like I use too. Of course they didn't give a fuck. He asked if the bag was T's and I said yeah. Mailman trade commented that T would be moving in. I denied that saying it would never happen. But day by day I found more of his shit in my house. For example, since my computer is in the shop I am typing this on his desktop computer that he has hooked up for me. I am watching his flat screen plasma 42 inch television while my 32 inch magnavox is in my coat closet. Things around here are changing for the better. I came home today to find the trash taken out, all the dishes washed and my bed made up. What other trade have I had did this kind of shit for me?
He gives me all of his money when he gets paid which he should since he ain't paying not one damn bill. Mailman trade said he should have moved in here. If he wasn't so caught up on keeping me from going out he might have had that chance. Anyway, T lets me do as I please in respect to going out when I want and not trying to tell me what to do, what to say, how to act, etc. It feels good to have someone here to cuddle up to and talk with even though at the time we met I was blissfully happy with the random fucks I was having. I admit that late at night a bit of loneliness would creep up but I have never had a problem finding the next body to fill that void.
But is he truly mine? Yes, he is here ever day. Yeah, we sleep wrapped up with each other but my mind has not settled into claiming that. I am still in the dark about the person he was staying with in Virginia. I still feel like I am just the next conveince to his currently not having his own place. Since the person in Virginia told him he had to leave he may see me as someone whose "southern hospitality" he can take advantage of. As for the sex, its ok. I've had better. He seems to be pleased with it but our sex life needs a boost or trust I will get it from somewhere else. I've decided to take things a day at a time and see where it leads.
My grandmother always told me to watch out for those "city slickers".
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