Hello all. I've been down lately due to some personal drama. My money is running short. I have money but I can't really spend it like I want too. I paid my rent through June and already have half of July's rent saved. I got one on of my credit cards down to a $200 balance, the other one is well over a thousand but what the fuck, I been trying. Looks like I'll have to take out another student loan especially since I won't be able to work this summer due to school. I hope I can find one that doesn't require a cosigner. I am no begger and I won't be begging neither parent to cosign. As an only child I always thought I would have it a bit easier but I have to fight for every little thing I get. Anywayyys
I got a speeding ticket in Virgina while coming from this trade's house. 90 in a 55mph zone. The cunt cop didn't even give me a price for the fucking ticket. Just told me to bring my black ass to court, lol. Said he had clocked me in a different county and had to drive well over 100 to catch me. BASTARD!!!
My last problem of the moment is that some fuck stole my radio out of my car for the umpteenth time. If I ever catch someone going in my shit I'm beating some ass that night goddamnit.
So to get my mind off things I decided to go out. Decided to go out to the Eye Bar knowing that it is free on Sundays. Gotta save that money wherever I can, lol. I tried to call my best friend to go with me but that bitch cell phone was once again off. Thats some shit I can never understand. It seems like her phone is off every month. I have had my phone for 9 years now. Out of all that time its only been off once. How hard is it to budget money with a full time job? I could see if she was doing temp work or only worked part time. And the kicker is that she works all the time. She usually calls me from work but didn't. Did I do something?? So just like the only child that I am I went alone.
I was so cute. Had on my American Eagle jeans that accent my ass to perfection. Due to my waist size I can only find jeans at American Eagle or Abercrombie and Fitch to fit perfectly. I hate when bitches buy oversize jeans, get a belt and tighten it so much until the jeans fold up on itself. Or buying jeans too big and fucking holding them up with your hand or continuously pulling them up. That shit looks nasty as fuck. Ugggggh!! I had on a matching blue and white polo and a cute jacket.
I stepped into the club and immediately all eyes were on me. Now, I am not a real big fan of the Eye Bar due to so many youngins that are usually there. This time I was pleasantly surprised. Trade was there in droves, butch queens like myself, fem queens, lesbians sprinkled here and there, curious white people who didn't know it was gay night, lol, and a nice mix of all were in attendance. I had eyes on me so much that I had to give runway while walking to the bar. I ordered a hennesy and coke but some fat fuck made me change my mind to a tequilla sunrise which was ok. I took in the scene a bit. Saw two guys I let get it, gave them my fake greeting. One actually looked happy to see me but I was giving shade to both of them. The other is a med student at Howard. His sex was cute. So, I checked out the downstairs area for all of 10 minutes and went upstairs to the whole reason I came out.
Don't get me wrong I like rap and hip-hop music. I can party with the best of them. The thing is I hear that shit on the radio on a daily basis. I hear and see that same shit on the tv. And when Three Six Mafia can win an oscar for best original song, I am so over it. I am absolutely in love with House music!!! The beats completely take me to another world. I can tell that in another life I was some kind of top African Dancer or some shit. Lets say that I don't really wanna dance, I just wanna chill and watch. Let some house music come on, its something I can't hold back. I will be on the floor with the quickness. When I got there the room was sort of empty. This butch lesbian was there dancing a bit and two other lesbians were on the floor bumping and grinding. Some trade were there lurking in the dark trying to catch some of the queens' eye. Downstairs was full. By the third beat I was on the floor doing it up. After showing the girls what I got I made my way to the bar to get a sex on the beach and who was there, that same fat muthafucka from downstairs. This time I got my fucking drink I wanted and sashayed away.
This is the kicker though. Some beat came on and this old queen about 50 to 60 years old with gray hair came out of nowhere and vogued her ass off. That brought all the queens out to battle for blood. The room quickly filled up. But no one could out do this old queen. She twirled for life. She vogued, diped, even droped it a couple of times. I am not really big on voguing but I had to throw it down a bit too. These queens don't know. YESSSSSS!
I truly enjoyed myself.The night ended with a Kevin Aviance beat. I live for that bitch. DC nightlife is nothing like it was when I first moved here but its getting better. I felt so good that I called my drug dealer trade whose been blowing up my phone, IM'ing me, texting and all that shit for like 3 or 4 days. But guess what the kicker is about him.
He's a bottom.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Is my attraction to guys really a preference?
Good afternoon readers. Here it is a Saturday afternoon. I should be out enjoying a date, ke-keying with my friends, shopping or living it up. But today I find myself truly depressed. For those girls who think T.I is their husband we all know he was sentenced on Friday to a year and a day due to that tiny weapons charge (damn bastards!). He has a show on MTV and on the last episode he reflected back on his life and what got him into his current predicament.
That led me to reflect back on my life and how it is that I find myself a sex addict attracted to guys. My strongest idea so far is that I grew up in a fatherless household. My parents were not married at my birth. At that time they were 20 and 21 years old. When I was 3 they moved in together. They were married when I was 6 and divorced by age 8. They fought constantly and only enjoyed their afterwork drinks that would turn into fights by bedtime. So, I had my father in my life for about 5 years but still never spent time with the guy. He worked constantly and had a daugher by a different woman 10 months after I was born. His money was stretched thin constanly causing tension in our little household. After the divorce my mother and I spent 2 years going from place to place, staying with different friends and family members, whoever would take us in.
Now I know there are countless others out there who grew up in a man-less household and turned out to be straight. But for me, I had no example to draw upon and I was one of those children where you always had to show me for me to learn it. There were other boys in the neighborhoods we lived in but my mother kept me away from them. She deeply beleived in education and when I got out of school I was to be reading a newspaper, a book, or doing homework. She enrolled me in after school programs and the such. Anything to keep me busy and out of trouble. I rarely got the chance to go outside and socialize with other boys. I was with my mother or family. I have 2 unlces on my mother's side. My oldest uncle had his own family to support so I never spent time with him. My other uncle was a die hard crack addict and alcoholic. When he wasn't locked up he was too out of it to spend time with me.
With the help of my grandparents my mother slowly pulled it together. She worked constantly making around $200 a week as a seamstress. So that left me in the care of her parents. I am their oldest grandson and third grandchild. My older cousin Tasha (1 year older) spent alot of time there and my cousin Nikki (3 years younger) was there too. My cousin Tiffany (5 years older) was in and out of that household too. That's who I played with. We jumped rope, played together, slept together, etc. We were like brother and sisters instead of cousins. I am sure thats where I picked up my feminine ways. Hell, thats all I was around, thats all I knew. My grandfather still worked so he was gone. He came home for dinner and then went to sleep or went to gamble. Still, no positive male impact on my life. I have male cousins but they are much younger than me. Al is 7 years my junior, Wesley and Nemar are both 18 years my junior. My cousin Tasha left for Boston after the 1st grade leaving me and Nikki. She and I were inseparable. If you saw her, most likely you saw me. It was like that until I went off to college. By third grade I was being called sissy. It probably didn't help that my mother began putting S-curls in my hair that same year. The way I walk is something I feel I have no control over, the way I talk, my mannerisms are all deeply embedded and what make me, well me.
Another reason I think I ended up like this is because of my size. For the most part of my life I have been physically small. I've been a skinny lil thing for a long time. Because of that I stayed away from sports. They just did not interest me at all. Thats so ironic. My mother has all kinds of softball trophies and my dad was a star high school basketball player. Their only son did not play one single sport. Puberty hit in the 9th grade. When I started that school year I weighed 95lbs. By the end of that year I was up to 145. That was also the year I had my first crush on a boy (damn hormones!!). His name was Bobby. He was tall, about 6 feet, bright skinned, always smelled good and athletic. He played baseball, basketball and was a drummer in the school band. I followed this boy religiously. He was very popular and had all the girls and pussy he wanted. I bought Starburst candy for him, carried his books, tutored him, gave him money. I was at his beck and call. He is the reason I am sure that tall athletic men can always get it, lol. He was a real dresser. He always had the best clothes, labels. His father had a BMW that he let Bobby drive once he got a license. I was so into him. He gave me an opportunity once to get with him sexually and as much as I wanted to I chickened out. I still beat off to that boy today, lol
My weight didn't stay that way for long. By the end of 10th grade I was down to 120lbs. My weight settled out at 125lbs for a while. Right now at the age of 28, I am 129.6lbs, 5'9" and no matter what I eat, I don't gain a pound. And no bitches I do not have HIV. I check that every 3 months religiously.
So as I reflect, I came to the conclusion that because of no male impact on my upbringing I grew up lost. I attached to the first thing that showed me love and attention, females. I stayed around them, did what they did, talked about what they talked about, liked what they liked. Yeah I know how to change a tire, unclog a toilet, mow a lawn, change a lightbulb, change oil in a car but I gravitate more to fashion, what hair styles looks best, what heels look best, what shade of lipstick is best, who gives the best manicure. Those things make me happy. Also because of no male influence I find myself constantly chasing men, looking for attention from them. I've made myself a whore to their every need, just like I did for Bobby all those years ago. I am trying to fill an unfillable hole.
To this day I have a shaky relationship with both my parents. I am closest to my grandmother. My grandfather has passed. My cousin Nikki and I were inseparable up until last July but thats a story for another post. My father tried to re-enter my life at age 17 but too much time had passed.
I've had girlfriends before, had sex with girls and all that stuff but it just never felt right, never did it for me. I've lived with a girl for 3 years and have even been engaged once. After sex I would be nauseous, spend an hour in the shower, become highly depressed and unfulfilled. Yeah I could get it up, sex her, make sure she enjoyed it, bust a nut but it never gave me that feeling of ectasy. I was alway thinking when will this be over. I didn't wanna be touched afterwards. I moved 13 hours from my family to be free of that burden and to not cause embarrassment to them. I love men, love sucking dick and there is nothing I can do about that. I am tired of fighting it.
I would give the entire left side of my body to be totally straight, not bisexual, not gay, not curious, but straight. I am my mother's only son and only child. I want to give her grandchildren. I want my family to be proud of me.
All in all, this wasn't something I chose, its something that chose me.
That led me to reflect back on my life and how it is that I find myself a sex addict attracted to guys. My strongest idea so far is that I grew up in a fatherless household. My parents were not married at my birth. At that time they were 20 and 21 years old. When I was 3 they moved in together. They were married when I was 6 and divorced by age 8. They fought constantly and only enjoyed their afterwork drinks that would turn into fights by bedtime. So, I had my father in my life for about 5 years but still never spent time with the guy. He worked constantly and had a daugher by a different woman 10 months after I was born. His money was stretched thin constanly causing tension in our little household. After the divorce my mother and I spent 2 years going from place to place, staying with different friends and family members, whoever would take us in.
Now I know there are countless others out there who grew up in a man-less household and turned out to be straight. But for me, I had no example to draw upon and I was one of those children where you always had to show me for me to learn it. There were other boys in the neighborhoods we lived in but my mother kept me away from them. She deeply beleived in education and when I got out of school I was to be reading a newspaper, a book, or doing homework. She enrolled me in after school programs and the such. Anything to keep me busy and out of trouble. I rarely got the chance to go outside and socialize with other boys. I was with my mother or family. I have 2 unlces on my mother's side. My oldest uncle had his own family to support so I never spent time with him. My other uncle was a die hard crack addict and alcoholic. When he wasn't locked up he was too out of it to spend time with me.
With the help of my grandparents my mother slowly pulled it together. She worked constantly making around $200 a week as a seamstress. So that left me in the care of her parents. I am their oldest grandson and third grandchild. My older cousin Tasha (1 year older) spent alot of time there and my cousin Nikki (3 years younger) was there too. My cousin Tiffany (5 years older) was in and out of that household too. That's who I played with. We jumped rope, played together, slept together, etc. We were like brother and sisters instead of cousins. I am sure thats where I picked up my feminine ways. Hell, thats all I was around, thats all I knew. My grandfather still worked so he was gone. He came home for dinner and then went to sleep or went to gamble. Still, no positive male impact on my life. I have male cousins but they are much younger than me. Al is 7 years my junior, Wesley and Nemar are both 18 years my junior. My cousin Tasha left for Boston after the 1st grade leaving me and Nikki. She and I were inseparable. If you saw her, most likely you saw me. It was like that until I went off to college. By third grade I was being called sissy. It probably didn't help that my mother began putting S-curls in my hair that same year. The way I walk is something I feel I have no control over, the way I talk, my mannerisms are all deeply embedded and what make me, well me.
Another reason I think I ended up like this is because of my size. For the most part of my life I have been physically small. I've been a skinny lil thing for a long time. Because of that I stayed away from sports. They just did not interest me at all. Thats so ironic. My mother has all kinds of softball trophies and my dad was a star high school basketball player. Their only son did not play one single sport. Puberty hit in the 9th grade. When I started that school year I weighed 95lbs. By the end of that year I was up to 145. That was also the year I had my first crush on a boy (damn hormones!!). His name was Bobby. He was tall, about 6 feet, bright skinned, always smelled good and athletic. He played baseball, basketball and was a drummer in the school band. I followed this boy religiously. He was very popular and had all the girls and pussy he wanted. I bought Starburst candy for him, carried his books, tutored him, gave him money. I was at his beck and call. He is the reason I am sure that tall athletic men can always get it, lol. He was a real dresser. He always had the best clothes, labels. His father had a BMW that he let Bobby drive once he got a license. I was so into him. He gave me an opportunity once to get with him sexually and as much as I wanted to I chickened out. I still beat off to that boy today, lol
My weight didn't stay that way for long. By the end of 10th grade I was down to 120lbs. My weight settled out at 125lbs for a while. Right now at the age of 28, I am 129.6lbs, 5'9" and no matter what I eat, I don't gain a pound. And no bitches I do not have HIV. I check that every 3 months religiously.
So as I reflect, I came to the conclusion that because of no male impact on my upbringing I grew up lost. I attached to the first thing that showed me love and attention, females. I stayed around them, did what they did, talked about what they talked about, liked what they liked. Yeah I know how to change a tire, unclog a toilet, mow a lawn, change a lightbulb, change oil in a car but I gravitate more to fashion, what hair styles looks best, what heels look best, what shade of lipstick is best, who gives the best manicure. Those things make me happy. Also because of no male influence I find myself constantly chasing men, looking for attention from them. I've made myself a whore to their every need, just like I did for Bobby all those years ago. I am trying to fill an unfillable hole.
To this day I have a shaky relationship with both my parents. I am closest to my grandmother. My grandfather has passed. My cousin Nikki and I were inseparable up until last July but thats a story for another post. My father tried to re-enter my life at age 17 but too much time had passed.
I've had girlfriends before, had sex with girls and all that stuff but it just never felt right, never did it for me. I've lived with a girl for 3 years and have even been engaged once. After sex I would be nauseous, spend an hour in the shower, become highly depressed and unfulfilled. Yeah I could get it up, sex her, make sure she enjoyed it, bust a nut but it never gave me that feeling of ectasy. I was alway thinking when will this be over. I didn't wanna be touched afterwards. I moved 13 hours from my family to be free of that burden and to not cause embarrassment to them. I love men, love sucking dick and there is nothing I can do about that. I am tired of fighting it.
I would give the entire left side of my body to be totally straight, not bisexual, not gay, not curious, but straight. I am my mother's only son and only child. I want to give her grandchildren. I want my family to be proud of me.
All in all, this wasn't something I chose, its something that chose me.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
When I look back......
Did you guys see tonight's Making the Band. Q got some serious problemes going on mentally. I like how they sort of had an intervention which seemed to make things worse. But when those boys started crying it truly touched a nerve in me. I boo hooed like they were my family. For that show of emotion they all can get a hug and some head, lol. I once heard that a man thinks about sex every 13 seconds. Thats more like 7 with me, lol.
But to the reason for this post, I am truly a blessed person. As I said earlier in my posts, I am in my final year of pharmacy school. Yesterday, I went to Grand Rounds. For those of you not in the medical community thats where the head of each department gets together to discuss a topic. The topic yesterday was Thrombocytopenia Purpura. During the discussion, my mind drifted. You know a girl like me can only pay attention during sex. Anyway, I looked around the room and saw the head of the Cardiology Department, HEENT (head, eyes, ears, nose, throat) Hematology, several other attending physicians, residents, interns, medical students, etc. And it hit me, how the fuck did I get here??
I grew up in the backwoods of Alabama. My home town has 2 traffic lights ( 1 thats is always out) and 2 grocery stores. There are 2 CVS pharmacies in the entire county. My high school held grades 8-12. Now it holds grades 7-12. My high school was on state academic probation the whole time I was there. I lived in a mobile home (trailer) on a dirt road from grades 5-12. The school bus wouldn't even come down the damn road. I had to walk down this dirt road to the entrance to catch the bus. I was always running late chasing behind that damn bus. That lateness has carried over into adulthood, lol. I don't wake up beautiful honey, that takes some work! No one in my immediate family have ever gone past high school if that far. Only 1 pereson in my immediate family makes over $25,000/year. I was born out of wedlock to a seamstress and a mechanic. Where did this brain come from?
So here I am, in our nations capitol, a student at the premeir HBCU in the country, about to graduate with a PharmD degree (Doctor of Pharmacy) this December, at a world class teaching hospital, doing a clinical rotation in internal medicine. I always considered myself an old ditzy blonde cunt, but daily I am proven to be something other than that. Today we had Drug Info Rounds. We were to meet in the Pharmacy department at 12:30 but once again I was late. Got there at 12:40. So of course the good seats were taken making me have to sit directly to the left of the Chariman of the Department. So guess who got the bulk of the questions?? My ass!!!
But it truly amazes me to know answers to medical questions. What is HIT? Heparin induced Thrombocytopenia. What are the components of Zosyn? Piperacillin and Tazobactam. Does the Tazobactam component have antimicrobial activity? No. What microbes does Zosyn cover? Its broad spectrum. Where did I pick this shit up?? Why does someone who has been practicing medicine for as long as I've been alive want my opinion? Why am I only 1 of 2 black students in the room? Why am I the only black male here? Where are my fag hags, lol.
Do you all know ER is about to go off TV? I've been watching that since 1994. That show got me intersted in medicine. Yeah, I know that was random, lol.
Everyday I become more comfortable professionally. I become more confident in my decision making. I become more confident in my abilities. I can hold my head up when giving answers. Shit, they even gave me 3 patients with diagnosis ranging from HIV to end stage renal disease. (Kidney Failure)
Damn, God is good and he truly works in the most mysterious of ways.
But to the reason for this post, I am truly a blessed person. As I said earlier in my posts, I am in my final year of pharmacy school. Yesterday, I went to Grand Rounds. For those of you not in the medical community thats where the head of each department gets together to discuss a topic. The topic yesterday was Thrombocytopenia Purpura. During the discussion, my mind drifted. You know a girl like me can only pay attention during sex. Anyway, I looked around the room and saw the head of the Cardiology Department, HEENT (head, eyes, ears, nose, throat) Hematology, several other attending physicians, residents, interns, medical students, etc. And it hit me, how the fuck did I get here??
I grew up in the backwoods of Alabama. My home town has 2 traffic lights ( 1 thats is always out) and 2 grocery stores. There are 2 CVS pharmacies in the entire county. My high school held grades 8-12. Now it holds grades 7-12. My high school was on state academic probation the whole time I was there. I lived in a mobile home (trailer) on a dirt road from grades 5-12. The school bus wouldn't even come down the damn road. I had to walk down this dirt road to the entrance to catch the bus. I was always running late chasing behind that damn bus. That lateness has carried over into adulthood, lol. I don't wake up beautiful honey, that takes some work! No one in my immediate family have ever gone past high school if that far. Only 1 pereson in my immediate family makes over $25,000/year. I was born out of wedlock to a seamstress and a mechanic. Where did this brain come from?
So here I am, in our nations capitol, a student at the premeir HBCU in the country, about to graduate with a PharmD degree (Doctor of Pharmacy) this December, at a world class teaching hospital, doing a clinical rotation in internal medicine. I always considered myself an old ditzy blonde cunt, but daily I am proven to be something other than that. Today we had Drug Info Rounds. We were to meet in the Pharmacy department at 12:30 but once again I was late. Got there at 12:40. So of course the good seats were taken making me have to sit directly to the left of the Chariman of the Department. So guess who got the bulk of the questions?? My ass!!!
But it truly amazes me to know answers to medical questions. What is HIT? Heparin induced Thrombocytopenia. What are the components of Zosyn? Piperacillin and Tazobactam. Does the Tazobactam component have antimicrobial activity? No. What microbes does Zosyn cover? Its broad spectrum. Where did I pick this shit up?? Why does someone who has been practicing medicine for as long as I've been alive want my opinion? Why am I only 1 of 2 black students in the room? Why am I the only black male here? Where are my fag hags, lol.
Do you all know ER is about to go off TV? I've been watching that since 1994. That show got me intersted in medicine. Yeah, I know that was random, lol.
Everyday I become more comfortable professionally. I become more confident in my decision making. I become more confident in my abilities. I can hold my head up when giving answers. Shit, they even gave me 3 patients with diagnosis ranging from HIV to end stage renal disease. (Kidney Failure)
Damn, God is good and he truly works in the most mysterious of ways.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Update!
Hello all!!! Just wanted to let you know whats going on with me. I had to go pick up my trade bottom last night. I thought we was gonna meet up but that nigga told me his car been booted. I think he said that thinking I was gonna help him pay to get it off. Child boo!! I gave that nigga some coins for our anniversay back in November and I have yet to get a gift. I guess he thinks giving me some ass every now and then makes up for that.
Anyway, as usual he got in my car smelling like weed smoke. He is so handsome though. He is black as a southern woman's skillet but it is the smoothest black pearl skin. Wavy hair, straight teeth, brown eyes. He even has a cute dimple that shows on the slightest movement of his lips. He stands at about 6'1. All that weed smoking has caused him to gain weight but he hides it well with his clothes. He starting to grow some man titties too. I'm jealous, lol. He lit up a blunt as soon as he got in the car. Now you know I drive like a bat out of hell. I'm lucky we didn't get stopped. We got to my place and he started on my alcohol. He downed 2 cups of hennesy staright before I knew what was going on. And he knows I don't let nobody drink my damn hennessy. He know that cheap E & J was for him. We watched a lil tv and chilled. He cuddled up next to me on the couch and opened his heart talking about his fears and personal situation. The nigga is intelligent but like so many young black men he feels trapped in the game.
We got our grove on in the bedroom. I was mad cause he laid on my brand new comforter set. He knew we needed a towel or an old comforter to lay on top. But I let him have his way. He gave up that ass though. I didn't know how much I missed fucking him until he layed it down!! He was backing that ass up on this dick. Bout to knock me out of the bed. He fucking 6'1. I'm 5'9. He got to be around 200lbs. I weight 130lbs. DAMN!!! Thats ok, I beat it down. I can let out my inner freak with him because he truly let his out. I got two nuts and was knocked the fuck out. The only thing I hate is that God was being truly stingy when he handed out dick to my boo. He must had ran out when he got to him, lol. I let him fuck me once and it was horrible. I was faking and he knew it. I flipped his ass and fucked him, lol.
I am truly in love with him. We talk on a regular basis and have been seeing each other over a year now. He can bring a smile to my face instantly and even if I am highly pissed about something he has a way of bringing me back down. (And you know a bitch like me can go off with the quickness!!).He's just so cool and laid back. He does little things that I never expect like giving me a peck on the cheek when I least expect it. He give massages. He know's how to give me a hug, slightly holding me cause he sees it on my face that that is what I need. He even made the bed up this morning. When I drove him back home, he gave me a kiss. I was so surprised. He stays in the HOOD. People be out on his block all the time. On my way home he sent a text saying have a good day. I felt so special.
Cloud nine is a beautiful place to be. But how long will this feeling last??
Anyway, as usual he got in my car smelling like weed smoke. He is so handsome though. He is black as a southern woman's skillet but it is the smoothest black pearl skin. Wavy hair, straight teeth, brown eyes. He even has a cute dimple that shows on the slightest movement of his lips. He stands at about 6'1. All that weed smoking has caused him to gain weight but he hides it well with his clothes. He starting to grow some man titties too. I'm jealous, lol. He lit up a blunt as soon as he got in the car. Now you know I drive like a bat out of hell. I'm lucky we didn't get stopped. We got to my place and he started on my alcohol. He downed 2 cups of hennesy staright before I knew what was going on. And he knows I don't let nobody drink my damn hennessy. He know that cheap E & J was for him. We watched a lil tv and chilled. He cuddled up next to me on the couch and opened his heart talking about his fears and personal situation. The nigga is intelligent but like so many young black men he feels trapped in the game.
We got our grove on in the bedroom. I was mad cause he laid on my brand new comforter set. He knew we needed a towel or an old comforter to lay on top. But I let him have his way. He gave up that ass though. I didn't know how much I missed fucking him until he layed it down!! He was backing that ass up on this dick. Bout to knock me out of the bed. He fucking 6'1. I'm 5'9. He got to be around 200lbs. I weight 130lbs. DAMN!!! Thats ok, I beat it down. I can let out my inner freak with him because he truly let his out. I got two nuts and was knocked the fuck out. The only thing I hate is that God was being truly stingy when he handed out dick to my boo. He must had ran out when he got to him, lol. I let him fuck me once and it was horrible. I was faking and he knew it. I flipped his ass and fucked him, lol.
I am truly in love with him. We talk on a regular basis and have been seeing each other over a year now. He can bring a smile to my face instantly and even if I am highly pissed about something he has a way of bringing me back down. (And you know a bitch like me can go off with the quickness!!).He's just so cool and laid back. He does little things that I never expect like giving me a peck on the cheek when I least expect it. He give massages. He know's how to give me a hug, slightly holding me cause he sees it on my face that that is what I need. He even made the bed up this morning. When I drove him back home, he gave me a kiss. I was so surprised. He stays in the HOOD. People be out on his block all the time. On my way home he sent a text saying have a good day. I felt so special.
Cloud nine is a beautiful place to be. But how long will this feeling last??
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Hello All!!! I'm back on this again. I hate being a fucking student. Last Friday was my last day of my second rotation. Six more to go. DAMN!! I am in my final year of Pharmacy school and whoever said the last year was a breeze fucking lied out of their ass! I know I am not the smartest bitch in the bunch but I worked my lil ass off to get where I am. These so called medical professionals must get wet pussies from embarrising students. This motherfucker that's been practicing for 20 years now decided to ask me how Epinephrine works. Hell if I know! But beeing the cunning bitch that I am I bullshittted my way through the answer. I hate being put on the fucking spot like that. I start a new rotation on Monday---Internal Medicine. I am scared cause my classmates say this will be a rough rotation. But a girl gotta have coins. Pharmacists make 6 figures a year starting out and this time next year after I pass my boards I plan on living high!! YESSSSS! Escorts for days!!!! LOLLL!
Anyway after I left there of course I had to get something to feed my addiction. Met this light skinned trade honey, 23 years of age. You know I like them tall. He was 6'1. Went back to his house in Silver Spring. His fucking mother must have lost it. This bitch still got Christmas decorations up! Christmas rugs and reefs and shit. DAMN! Don't this bitch now its March??? Anyway this lil boy fucked me royally.Dick was 9 inches. I got carried the fuck away. Remember that song ass up face down, bitch that was me, ass up and face down. He served it and I turned it. We had nut all over that lil den we was fucking in. I love the boys in this area. O my God!! They got a swagger like no other city!
Well, when Desperate Housewives go off in 2 minutes I'm going to meet my trade bottom. I've known him over a year now. The boy is beautiful. Smells like weed smoke all the time. You know what, I've never seen him sober. Anyway, he wants some dick. I do love to bottom but thats one ass I don't mind dicking down. Chat with you later. Smooochies!!!
Anyway after I left there of course I had to get something to feed my addiction. Met this light skinned trade honey, 23 years of age. You know I like them tall. He was 6'1. Went back to his house in Silver Spring. His fucking mother must have lost it. This bitch still got Christmas decorations up! Christmas rugs and reefs and shit. DAMN! Don't this bitch now its March??? Anyway this lil boy fucked me royally.Dick was 9 inches. I got carried the fuck away. Remember that song ass up face down, bitch that was me, ass up and face down. He served it and I turned it. We had nut all over that lil den we was fucking in. I love the boys in this area. O my God!! They got a swagger like no other city!
Well, when Desperate Housewives go off in 2 minutes I'm going to meet my trade bottom. I've known him over a year now. The boy is beautiful. Smells like weed smoke all the time. You know what, I've never seen him sober. Anyway, he wants some dick. I do love to bottom but thats one ass I don't mind dicking down. Chat with you later. Smooochies!!!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sex, sex, sex
I must admit, I am a sex addict. There, I said it. This trade came over last night to help me out with my little addiction. O my God, he is so fine. Athletic looking, muscles for day, a cute lil chocolate drop. He stood about 5'10 inches and had a thick 8 inch piece of meat. YESSSSS!! Honey, I sucked that dick that it would be the last one I would ever suck. I couldn't get the condom out of the wrapper fast enough honey. The fucked up thing about it is that I didn't have the right lube. He put that meat in me and I could have passed the fuck out. That lube wasn't worth a damn. So you can tell that I couldn't get into it like I wanted. But your girl here is a trooper honey. I took that meat and made sure my man was satisfied. YESSSS!!!! Keep the boys coming back for more.
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