Hello All,
There is something that has been on my mind and as usual I can't seem to stop thinking about it. What I have learned since starting this blog is that writing about it will put it to rest.
The great Oprah did a show about education in these United States. There is a new film out called "Waiting for Superman" that caught her attention. She invited the director on to talk about it. Bill Gates was also providing commentary and so was John Legend. The director talked about how he decided to make this movie because he had to pass two public schools to drive his children to a private school and how he as a child was bused from DC 45 minutes into Virginia to go to school. They taked about how public schools are failing our children, talked about bad teachers, etc.
It was also mentioned how the United States is so far behind other developed nations in terms of education. The panel talked about the high drop out rates particularly in the black community. As in anything in this country, my community is always hit hardest and the last to recover.
Michele Rhee was also a guest. For those who don't know she is the head bitch in charge of the DC public school system. This bitch fired thousands of teachers and school administrators all in the blink of an eye. The city was in an uproar. It was like she wanted a clean slate to tackle the education problems in this city. The mayor stood behind all her decisions and this is what cost him re-election.
What I basically got out of the Oprah show and from Michele Rhee is that teachers and school administrators are the reason our education system is so bad. Of course this is something I totally disagree with. I think they have forgotten that each teacher has a college education at the least. Obtaining a degree is not easy at all. You can major in English, a language we all practice, and still have a hard time in college. There are state requirements you have to comply with before enterning a classroom. I know that every teacher is not the best and there are some out there who don't give a damn but I think it is unfair to blame teachers.
Education starts at home. This is where the problem lies. Parents!!!! As someone with two college degrees, I have attended the public school system up until my last degree which I earned at a private university. As long as I can remember, my mother was firmly involved in my education. She spent endless nights quizzing me on spelling words, going over homework, etc. She knew all my teachers who not only had our home number but her work number also. She came to meeting, and watched my grades like a hawk. If the grades were 85 and above she was happy. If they were between 80 and 84 she wanted to know why. If they were less than 80, then sound the alarm because she was in bitch mood until that next report card.
I've had bad teachers but even when I did, I still feel that I learned something. For example, my high school history teached didn't teach a thing. He gave us the questions to the tests and all we had to do was look up the answers, memorize them and take the exam. He didn't change any questions. They were always word for word. So what could I learn from him? That class increased my memory capacity. When it comes to holding mundane and unusable facts I'm a pro.
My whole point is that I believe our public schools are not as bad as they tried to make them out to be. For a school to be a success, there must be parent involvement. Teachers can't do it alone and as soon as the citizens of this country realize this, our education system will begin to strenghthen.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Forced
Hello all,
Looks like my time here in Maryland is quickly coming to an end. I had planned on moving to Atlanta by the end of the year but once again it looks like my plans are being derailed. It looks like I may have to make a detour back to my hometown in Alabama. Why you ask? My finances are drying up and looks like I will be flat broke by the beginning of October. I still don't have a job despite the numerous interview's I've been on. I have two degrees, one of which is a doctorate. What the fuck???
Lets go through some numbers.
I left Alabama in August 2004 to attend the historic Howard University in our nation's capital of Washington, DC.
I lived in DC for 5 months before moving into my own apartment in Maryland.
I've lived in this apartment for 5 years, 6 months, and 7 days.
I finished all requirements for my degree on December 16, 2009. That's 5 years, 4 months and 1 day after arriving at Howard University.
I received my degree on May 8 2010. That's 5 years 8 months and 23 days after my arrival.
I received notice that all of my board requirements were satisfied on June 17, 2009
On June 21, 2010, I interviewed for a pharmacist posistion at an independent pharmacy and as offered the job on the spot. I showed up on June 25th for training and thought my career was off to a great beginning.
I received my license to practice pharmacy on June 29, 2010.
It took me two weeks to find out that they were just stringing me alone and only wanted me to fill in on an as needed basis.
So, what is a pharmacy doctor to do with themselves now? Start the job looking process all over again. I checked newspapers and the internet for open posistions. I soon found out that pharmacist posistions are never advertised via newspaper and are only by word of mouth and a few internet ads. And all the publications say pharmacy is an occupation that is in demand. LOL!!!!
I have been interviewing weekly for some company or another since the 9th day of July. The independent pharmacy gave me 5 hours in July and so far only 1 day this month. I am also scheduled tommorrow so that's 2 days.
I can't support myself like that. I begged for August rent and am praying that September rent shows up at some point.
I am giving it until the end of September for something to come through. I don't have a choice. Its either put in a 30 day notice to my apartment complex or be evicted when it is starting to turn cold here.
This recession shit is real. I've been out of high school for 11 years, 2 months and 7 days. In that span of time, I've earned 2 degrees but still don't have shit to show for it.
Looks like my time here in Maryland is quickly coming to an end. I had planned on moving to Atlanta by the end of the year but once again it looks like my plans are being derailed. It looks like I may have to make a detour back to my hometown in Alabama. Why you ask? My finances are drying up and looks like I will be flat broke by the beginning of October. I still don't have a job despite the numerous interview's I've been on. I have two degrees, one of which is a doctorate. What the fuck???
Lets go through some numbers.
I left Alabama in August 2004 to attend the historic Howard University in our nation's capital of Washington, DC.
I lived in DC for 5 months before moving into my own apartment in Maryland.
I've lived in this apartment for 5 years, 6 months, and 7 days.
I finished all requirements for my degree on December 16, 2009. That's 5 years, 4 months and 1 day after arriving at Howard University.
I received my degree on May 8 2010. That's 5 years 8 months and 23 days after my arrival.
I received notice that all of my board requirements were satisfied on June 17, 2009
On June 21, 2010, I interviewed for a pharmacist posistion at an independent pharmacy and as offered the job on the spot. I showed up on June 25th for training and thought my career was off to a great beginning.
I received my license to practice pharmacy on June 29, 2010.
It took me two weeks to find out that they were just stringing me alone and only wanted me to fill in on an as needed basis.
So, what is a pharmacy doctor to do with themselves now? Start the job looking process all over again. I checked newspapers and the internet for open posistions. I soon found out that pharmacist posistions are never advertised via newspaper and are only by word of mouth and a few internet ads. And all the publications say pharmacy is an occupation that is in demand. LOL!!!!
I have been interviewing weekly for some company or another since the 9th day of July. The independent pharmacy gave me 5 hours in July and so far only 1 day this month. I am also scheduled tommorrow so that's 2 days.
I can't support myself like that. I begged for August rent and am praying that September rent shows up at some point.
I am giving it until the end of September for something to come through. I don't have a choice. Its either put in a 30 day notice to my apartment complex or be evicted when it is starting to turn cold here.
This recession shit is real. I've been out of high school for 11 years, 2 months and 7 days. In that span of time, I've earned 2 degrees but still don't have shit to show for it.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Uncertainty
Hello All.
The summer months have always been trying times for me financially. And this year is no different from past. Sometimes I wonder why does God wake me up in the mornings to deal with the same bullshit day in and day out?
The job that I thought I had has fallen through. After the training I was told that I would get a call that I never got. How unprofessional was that? Well at least I know that that job isn't for me. I called them and was told once again that they would talk and call me back. No call yet. O well......
I have been out of work for 6 months now and my unemployment runs out next week. I have been running around all of Maryland since I've passed my licensing exams looking for a job. I've got some prospects that seem promising. Tommorrow I have a second interview with a clinic that I really want to work at. They granted me a second interview so they must be really interested.
Jobs are truly hard to come by these days and at this point I would take the first one that wants me. I so badly want to be able to stand on my own two feet and take care of myself. I want this job like no other
Over the past 3 months God has somehow made a way for me to survive and I know that he has something up his sleeve for me. Like the song says: He's an on time God!!!
The summer months have always been trying times for me financially. And this year is no different from past. Sometimes I wonder why does God wake me up in the mornings to deal with the same bullshit day in and day out?
The job that I thought I had has fallen through. After the training I was told that I would get a call that I never got. How unprofessional was that? Well at least I know that that job isn't for me. I called them and was told once again that they would talk and call me back. No call yet. O well......
I have been out of work for 6 months now and my unemployment runs out next week. I have been running around all of Maryland since I've passed my licensing exams looking for a job. I've got some prospects that seem promising. Tommorrow I have a second interview with a clinic that I really want to work at. They granted me a second interview so they must be really interested.
Jobs are truly hard to come by these days and at this point I would take the first one that wants me. I so badly want to be able to stand on my own two feet and take care of myself. I want this job like no other
Over the past 3 months God has somehow made a way for me to survive and I know that he has something up his sleeve for me. Like the song says: He's an on time God!!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Job interviews
I've had 5 jobs in my life. My first job was in an automotive shop. I was the service writer. That job lasted a month. Then I cashiered at one of the retail giants. That job lasted almost two years. Then I got my first pharmacy job at that same retail giant. That lasted about a year. I moved on to another pharmacy. That job lasted 2 months then I was snatched up by another pharmacy for a pay raise of
$.50. Yes I know that's not much but more money is always better. That job lasted 6 years.
The funny thing about these jobs is that I truly only interviewed for 1 of them, at the automotive shop. For me, an interview consists of me dressing up, preparing a resume, and sitting down to talk to the hiring manager about pay rates, benefits, schedule, etc. For the cashier job and my first pharmacy job, I just transferred departments. For the second pharmacy job, I talked to someone over the phone about a possible position and was told to show up ready for training. For the job that lasted 6 years it went like this. Do you want a job? Me: Yes. Them: Show up on Monday for a drug test and training.
I don't know how I got so lucky at landing jobs.
So a week ago, I formally had the second job interview of my life. I didn't even wear a tie. I was slightly nervous but once I started talking with the owner of this independent pharmacy all that nervousness went directly out the window. The first thing the guy said to me was, "Come in, have a seat but don't sit on that pillow, one of technicians wasted water on it." I knew then that I would fit right in. He explained that he needed someone full time, explained some of the problems he was having with the part-timers, explained what is done on a daily basis, then offered me the job. He glanced over my resume and we only talked about one of the clinical rotations I had done at school which was my favorite one at the long term care pharmacy. It had to be some kind of act of GOD for him to pick out my favorite rotation out of the 8 I did to ask about. We chatted a bit about the job I had for 6 years and why I didn't stay with them. He must have liked me and my responses because within 30 minutes he was making plans to add me to the schedule.
He wanted me to work on Friday for 6 hours as the pharmacist. He said I would be trained for 3 and a half hours then I would be alone with only a technician. The old me would have said that's a bit much but the out of work for the past 6 months me said OK. The other thing odd about this interview is that he kept being interrupted and had to repeatedly go out to talk to someone or do something. I had to remind him everytime he came back of what we were talking about. That was hilarious!! I was so happy to have a job that I didn't ask about pay or benefits. I want at least $50 per hour. He wants to start me off part time then talk again before I start full time. If the board doesn't quickly send my license I am going to have to ask him to let me start full time just to have rent money for August. My money situation is tight. I have not paid not one June bill other than the rent. And I only have rent for July. They can turn everything off if they want too but I'm going to have a roof over my head.
Anyway, I had to tell him that I didn't yet have my license. I had only known that I had passed my exam for 5 days. When he told the pharmacist who wanted to be off on Friday, she didn't look happy. I still ended up coming in on Friday for training. She was nice and was pulling me all over the place. The computer software is badly out of date. You have to check all prescriptions by hand and when doing refills you only check to make sure the drug is correct. What if a pharmacist made a mistake the first time? Since I am not seeing the prescription at every refill that mistake will happen over and over. I don't like that. There is also no way to check for interactions using their software and the technicians tell the people coming in that their prescription will be ready in 5 minutes. So what if the pharmacy is not busy? So what if they fill about 50 prescriptions a day? I also noticed that the customer's come in in spurts, when they first open, then around noon, then in the late afternoon. Other than that, its pretty laid back in there and easy going. You still have some assholes that call in but the technician seems to be able to handle that quite well.
I do love the hours at this job---8:30AM to 6PM Monday through Friday and no weekends. That's the best thing.
I didn't have the heart to tell the owner that I plan on moving back south in about a year. He really wants someone who is going to be there. He said he had been there for 26 years and wanted to go out to get more contracts and possibly expand. The other pharmacist has been there about 20 years and wants to spend more time with her family. They have alot of part timers for which they have been running into problems: mistakes, missing drugs, etc. That's really why he wants someone full time. I needed a job and needed it badly. Even in today's economy, pharmacist are having a hard time getting a job.
Even though this is not my ideal job, I think its going to be good. The hours are great, the people seem ok and the customers are not difficult and at least they all have insurance that works and a card to show for it. I'm loving that.
So, I am spending my last few days with the biggest smile on my face. I am getting ready to finally start enjoying life. I have already picked out a BMW that I want!!!
Smoochies!!!!!
$.50. Yes I know that's not much but more money is always better. That job lasted 6 years.
The funny thing about these jobs is that I truly only interviewed for 1 of them, at the automotive shop. For me, an interview consists of me dressing up, preparing a resume, and sitting down to talk to the hiring manager about pay rates, benefits, schedule, etc. For the cashier job and my first pharmacy job, I just transferred departments. For the second pharmacy job, I talked to someone over the phone about a possible position and was told to show up ready for training. For the job that lasted 6 years it went like this. Do you want a job? Me: Yes. Them: Show up on Monday for a drug test and training.
I don't know how I got so lucky at landing jobs.
So a week ago, I formally had the second job interview of my life. I didn't even wear a tie. I was slightly nervous but once I started talking with the owner of this independent pharmacy all that nervousness went directly out the window. The first thing the guy said to me was, "Come in, have a seat but don't sit on that pillow, one of technicians wasted water on it." I knew then that I would fit right in. He explained that he needed someone full time, explained some of the problems he was having with the part-timers, explained what is done on a daily basis, then offered me the job. He glanced over my resume and we only talked about one of the clinical rotations I had done at school which was my favorite one at the long term care pharmacy. It had to be some kind of act of GOD for him to pick out my favorite rotation out of the 8 I did to ask about. We chatted a bit about the job I had for 6 years and why I didn't stay with them. He must have liked me and my responses because within 30 minutes he was making plans to add me to the schedule.
He wanted me to work on Friday for 6 hours as the pharmacist. He said I would be trained for 3 and a half hours then I would be alone with only a technician. The old me would have said that's a bit much but the out of work for the past 6 months me said OK. The other thing odd about this interview is that he kept being interrupted and had to repeatedly go out to talk to someone or do something. I had to remind him everytime he came back of what we were talking about. That was hilarious!! I was so happy to have a job that I didn't ask about pay or benefits. I want at least $50 per hour. He wants to start me off part time then talk again before I start full time. If the board doesn't quickly send my license I am going to have to ask him to let me start full time just to have rent money for August. My money situation is tight. I have not paid not one June bill other than the rent. And I only have rent for July. They can turn everything off if they want too but I'm going to have a roof over my head.
Anyway, I had to tell him that I didn't yet have my license. I had only known that I had passed my exam for 5 days. When he told the pharmacist who wanted to be off on Friday, she didn't look happy. I still ended up coming in on Friday for training. She was nice and was pulling me all over the place. The computer software is badly out of date. You have to check all prescriptions by hand and when doing refills you only check to make sure the drug is correct. What if a pharmacist made a mistake the first time? Since I am not seeing the prescription at every refill that mistake will happen over and over. I don't like that. There is also no way to check for interactions using their software and the technicians tell the people coming in that their prescription will be ready in 5 minutes. So what if the pharmacy is not busy? So what if they fill about 50 prescriptions a day? I also noticed that the customer's come in in spurts, when they first open, then around noon, then in the late afternoon. Other than that, its pretty laid back in there and easy going. You still have some assholes that call in but the technician seems to be able to handle that quite well.
I do love the hours at this job---8:30AM to 6PM Monday through Friday and no weekends. That's the best thing.
I didn't have the heart to tell the owner that I plan on moving back south in about a year. He really wants someone who is going to be there. He said he had been there for 26 years and wanted to go out to get more contracts and possibly expand. The other pharmacist has been there about 20 years and wants to spend more time with her family. They have alot of part timers for which they have been running into problems: mistakes, missing drugs, etc. That's really why he wants someone full time. I needed a job and needed it badly. Even in today's economy, pharmacist are having a hard time getting a job.
Even though this is not my ideal job, I think its going to be good. The hours are great, the people seem ok and the customers are not difficult and at least they all have insurance that works and a card to show for it. I'm loving that.
So, I am spending my last few days with the biggest smile on my face. I am getting ready to finally start enjoying life. I have already picked out a BMW that I want!!!
Smoochies!!!!!
My last few days of freedom
Hello All,
Things are truly looking good for yours truly. As you all know, I have been stressing about taking my board exam since April. Well, I took it on June 15. After it was over I didn't feel any better about it than when I took it in March. I studied hard. I used a wealth of study aids: GOD, APhA, Kaplan Qbank, Exam Master, Kaplan notes, etc. I studied for this exam like it was a full time job, from sun up to sun down. I was totally exhausted. I took a pre-test about a week before the actual thing and despite not finishing the last 5 questions I scored a 94. This test is very predictive of what you will score on the actual exam and to my surprise it was very accurate. I scored a 93 on the actual exam!!! I prayed nightly to pass this exam and sent everyone in my phone a text message to add me to their nightly prayers cause I truly believe in the power of prayer and dear GOD, it worked.
I got my exam results two days after I took the exam. I cried, I shouted, I sang church songs, I shouted some more. I hadn't been this happy in a long time. I told my grandma and before I could really say what was happening she was shouting and had passed the phone on to one of my aunts. I called my mom who was at work and she had to go outside crying. My family was so relieved.
Today marks the 13th day since I took the exam and 11 days since I got my results. I am currently waiting to receive my license from the state board of pharmacy and it can't get here quick enough. I already have a job and they are itching to put me on the schedule and I am itching to make some real money. I've waited a long time for this.
So, it looks like my days of sleeping in are coming to an end. I think I'll be upset until that money rolls in!!!!!
Things are truly looking good for yours truly. As you all know, I have been stressing about taking my board exam since April. Well, I took it on June 15. After it was over I didn't feel any better about it than when I took it in March. I studied hard. I used a wealth of study aids: GOD, APhA, Kaplan Qbank, Exam Master, Kaplan notes, etc. I studied for this exam like it was a full time job, from sun up to sun down. I was totally exhausted. I took a pre-test about a week before the actual thing and despite not finishing the last 5 questions I scored a 94. This test is very predictive of what you will score on the actual exam and to my surprise it was very accurate. I scored a 93 on the actual exam!!! I prayed nightly to pass this exam and sent everyone in my phone a text message to add me to their nightly prayers cause I truly believe in the power of prayer and dear GOD, it worked.
I got my exam results two days after I took the exam. I cried, I shouted, I sang church songs, I shouted some more. I hadn't been this happy in a long time. I told my grandma and before I could really say what was happening she was shouting and had passed the phone on to one of my aunts. I called my mom who was at work and she had to go outside crying. My family was so relieved.
Today marks the 13th day since I took the exam and 11 days since I got my results. I am currently waiting to receive my license from the state board of pharmacy and it can't get here quick enough. I already have a job and they are itching to put me on the schedule and I am itching to make some real money. I've waited a long time for this.
So, it looks like my days of sleeping in are coming to an end. I think I'll be upset until that money rolls in!!!!!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I've got the Blues
Hello All,
Yes, I know its been a while since I've blogged. But today I got into the blogging spirit. For those of you who don't personally know me, I was born and raised in the deep south (Deep South= Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi) in a small town in Alabama. At an early age, I gained a true apprecitation for the blues. It was played regularly in my household and in my relatives houses also. I've got an aunt who constantly played the blues greats: BB King, Little Milton, Johnnie Taylor, Denise Lasalle, Shirley Brown, etc. My very own mother was a big fan of Marvin Sease. My mom and I spent every Memorial Day at a Blue's show in someone's cow pasture or a field. I never understood why those shows were always back in the woods off a dirt road or two. We would drink and carry on and have such a good time. For one time a year we were more friends than mother and son. I truly miss that. Every memorial day away from home is like a cut to my childhood.
My grandparents played the Blues on Saturday's in the Summer. I heard Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, KoKo Taylor, Bobby "Blue" Bland and many others during many hot Alabama summers.
What I learned from the blues is that heartache and troubles can happen at any time. I learned that this world is going to be unfair and that I'd just have to make the best of my short time here on this earth.
This music in a weird way sometimes soothes me. The voice of Aretha Franklin from about 1967 to 1976 cuts through me like a hot butter knife, so full of pain, so full of soul. From the greatest joy to the greatest sorrow all in one swoop. KoKo Taylor had a voice like a freight train. She sang this song once that said "If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all." She said, "Hard luck and trouble is my only friend, I've been down since I was 10." Alot of the time, I truly feel that way. Anyway, I've gotten off track a bit.
I left Alabama almost 6 years ago for what I figured would be a better life. I decided to pursue another degree at our nation premier black institution. Little did I know that these would be the worse 6 years I've seen in all of my 29 years on this planet. It has been hell and continues to be hell. Last December I earned my second degree. Now I have the word Doctor added to my name. Every so often, in the middle of the night, I sneak a peek at my degree to make sure that its actually my name on it.
My board exam is scheduled for June 15th at 3PM. I failed it the first time by 3 points. Do I feel any more prepared than the 1st time? No. If I had my way I probably wouldn't take that exam until around August. If I had my way I would purchase more study guides or attend a board review course. I've got a friend who took his back in May. Failed it by 5 points. I just knew he would pass. He was a math genius.
I'm sure you're asking then why dummy are you taking this test in 12 days? Unfortunately for me, my finances will not sustain me until August. I need a job and need it now. I've got to pass it to keep my apartment and avoid moving back in with family in Alabama.
Everybody keeps telling me not to worry about it. Everybody keeps saying it will be fine. It was only 3 points and I will surely pass this time. There is no guarantee that I will pass. Like I have said in earlier posts I know a pharmacist who took hers four times before she passed and another 3 times. I know one pharmacist who was licensed back in December and has yet to find a job. This is weighing heavy on my spirit and this is another time in my life where I don't know what to do. I've been constantly studying, practicing my math and using all of my available resources of which I don't think I have enough. I take a pre-test next Tuesday and hopefully that will turn out a success. If it does it will really put my mind at ease.
All I can do right now is fix me a cute drink, give my brain a little rest, send up some prayers and continue studying. At this point I am totally out of options. Will this madness ever end?
Yes, I know its been a while since I've blogged. But today I got into the blogging spirit. For those of you who don't personally know me, I was born and raised in the deep south (Deep South= Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi) in a small town in Alabama. At an early age, I gained a true apprecitation for the blues. It was played regularly in my household and in my relatives houses also. I've got an aunt who constantly played the blues greats: BB King, Little Milton, Johnnie Taylor, Denise Lasalle, Shirley Brown, etc. My very own mother was a big fan of Marvin Sease. My mom and I spent every Memorial Day at a Blue's show in someone's cow pasture or a field. I never understood why those shows were always back in the woods off a dirt road or two. We would drink and carry on and have such a good time. For one time a year we were more friends than mother and son. I truly miss that. Every memorial day away from home is like a cut to my childhood.
My grandparents played the Blues on Saturday's in the Summer. I heard Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, KoKo Taylor, Bobby "Blue" Bland and many others during many hot Alabama summers.
What I learned from the blues is that heartache and troubles can happen at any time. I learned that this world is going to be unfair and that I'd just have to make the best of my short time here on this earth.
This music in a weird way sometimes soothes me. The voice of Aretha Franklin from about 1967 to 1976 cuts through me like a hot butter knife, so full of pain, so full of soul. From the greatest joy to the greatest sorrow all in one swoop. KoKo Taylor had a voice like a freight train. She sang this song once that said "If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all." She said, "Hard luck and trouble is my only friend, I've been down since I was 10." Alot of the time, I truly feel that way. Anyway, I've gotten off track a bit.
I left Alabama almost 6 years ago for what I figured would be a better life. I decided to pursue another degree at our nation premier black institution. Little did I know that these would be the worse 6 years I've seen in all of my 29 years on this planet. It has been hell and continues to be hell. Last December I earned my second degree. Now I have the word Doctor added to my name. Every so often, in the middle of the night, I sneak a peek at my degree to make sure that its actually my name on it.
My board exam is scheduled for June 15th at 3PM. I failed it the first time by 3 points. Do I feel any more prepared than the 1st time? No. If I had my way I probably wouldn't take that exam until around August. If I had my way I would purchase more study guides or attend a board review course. I've got a friend who took his back in May. Failed it by 5 points. I just knew he would pass. He was a math genius.
I'm sure you're asking then why dummy are you taking this test in 12 days? Unfortunately for me, my finances will not sustain me until August. I need a job and need it now. I've got to pass it to keep my apartment and avoid moving back in with family in Alabama.
Everybody keeps telling me not to worry about it. Everybody keeps saying it will be fine. It was only 3 points and I will surely pass this time. There is no guarantee that I will pass. Like I have said in earlier posts I know a pharmacist who took hers four times before she passed and another 3 times. I know one pharmacist who was licensed back in December and has yet to find a job. This is weighing heavy on my spirit and this is another time in my life where I don't know what to do. I've been constantly studying, practicing my math and using all of my available resources of which I don't think I have enough. I take a pre-test next Tuesday and hopefully that will turn out a success. If it does it will really put my mind at ease.
All I can do right now is fix me a cute drink, give my brain a little rest, send up some prayers and continue studying. At this point I am totally out of options. Will this madness ever end?
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The 8 Black Homosexuals You Will Meet In Your Lifetime
I saw this post on another blog and found it to be so true.
The Skinny Bitch
This strain of Black gay is typically very young (green) but quickly rises in popularity in his newfound social circle because of his youth, pliability and quick mastery of shade. His goal is to accrue as many enemies as possible since he's convinced that having enough people that despise him means he's doing something right. He will spend an entire months salary on designer sunglasses because he considers them social currency.
Activities: Walking, throwing shade, wearing eyeliner, being penetrated, hogging the camera, starting arguments with strangers, making YouTube videos, going to the mall.
Diva of Choice: Beyonce or Rihanna (there is no in-between)
Top or Bottom: Bottom.
The Homo Thug
The Homo Thugs days are numbered since this is a group that usually patterns itself after trends in Hip-Hop, and the thug image is slowly fading. However, this image is still a selling point in gay porn and a popular refuge for closeted men. He usually has archaic notions about Black male sexuality and equates thug with masculinity. He is disrespectful, self-hating, and needs to pull his pants up.
Activities: Hiding, lying, saying I don't do that gay shit, smoking weed, being ignorant, having kids, having a limited vocabulary, not returning calls, breaking hearts.
Diva of Choice: Lil Wayne
Top or Bottom: Outdoor Top/Indoor Bottom
The Big Boy
These teddy bears are sweet, loving, warm and always horny. The lines between a good meal and good sex are often so blurred that any conversation involving meat will simply have to be taken in stride. He is way more confident than you think he has a right to be, always has a date (because he looks healthy), he's funny, and will give you anything in the world as long as you are consistently fucking his brains out.
Activities: Calling skinny bitches skinny bitches, cooking, hugging, making inappropriate double entendres, grabbing.
Diva of Choice: Jennifer Hudson
Top or Bottom: Bottom.
The Muscle Queen
They roll in packs and only date each other. You never see them during the winter months because they are in the gym 24/7. Come summer, he's wearing the smallest tank-top or the tightest t-shirt. Don't bother lusting after him, because you do not exist in his world.
Activities: Making fun of fat people, lifting weights, talking about lifting weights, accusing skinny people of being sick, dating white guys, bumping into people, being penetrated.
Diva of Choice: Creatine.
Top or Bottom: Power Bottom.
The Church Queen
In spite of the Black church's reputation for homophobia and intolerance, you will find that a number of Black gay men make the church the cornerstone of their social interaction, perhaps out of a sense of familial or religious obligation, or simply because the choir is so fierce. The Church Queen is usually loyal and loving, but is prone to Tourette-like outbursts of Jee-suss!! in any given situation. He listens to gospel music constantly and considers Loretta Divine his spirit animal.
Activities: Cooking, talking loud, clutching his pearls, singing, being called mother, being single, speaking with a southern twang even though he's from the midwest or the northeast.
Diva of Choice: Karen Clark Sheard
Top or Bottom: Sanctified Bottom.
The Uppity Snob
He is educated, has a six-figure salary, a nice car and a big house, but nothing is good enough for him. He will throw dinner parties with his Coven Of The Articulate and they will all wear hard-soled shoes regardless of the season, time of day or theme. When he's among other types of gays, he will roll his eyes, sneer, or attempt to oppress them intellectually. In spite of all his accomplishments, hell never be happy, cant take a joke and never laughs. He can usually be found in the club wearing a blazer and sipping a cocktail against the wall.
Activities: Debating, sighing, having a small penis, having furniture delivered, going to the spa, being offended, finding excuses to use any word that requires a schwa.
Diva of Choice: Whitney Houston
Top or Bottom: Bottom.
The Alterna-Queen
He doesn't like the gay scene because he finds it too mainstream. You can find him a coffee shop with his Mac Book Pro listening to underground Soul or Hip-Hop, writing poetry and waiting for someone with whom he can debate the oppression of goats and librarians. He often accuses people of not getting him and reactively dislikes anything that everyone else likes. He’s basically The Uppity Snob but with dreadlocks.
Activities: Poetry slams, debating, having his locks re-twisted, blogging, shopping at outdoor markets, calling himself a photographer, quoting Marcus Garvey, dating white men.
Diva of Choice: Some bitch you never heard of.
Top or Bottom: Top for white guys, otherwise bottom.
The Old Queen
The Old Queen has seen everything and done everyone. He thinks you're frivolous and that you stole everything from his generation. He will say things like in my day, the men were men and remember when House music was House music? He is short of patience and doesn't want to hear your whining.
Activities: Knowing everything. Remembering everything.
Diva of Choice: Stephanie Mills, Teena Marie, Chaka Khan or Luther Vandross.
Top or Bottom: Like it even matters.
I'm a combonation of 3 of these men. Can you guess which 3?
The Skinny Bitch
This strain of Black gay is typically very young (green) but quickly rises in popularity in his newfound social circle because of his youth, pliability and quick mastery of shade. His goal is to accrue as many enemies as possible since he's convinced that having enough people that despise him means he's doing something right. He will spend an entire months salary on designer sunglasses because he considers them social currency.
Activities: Walking, throwing shade, wearing eyeliner, being penetrated, hogging the camera, starting arguments with strangers, making YouTube videos, going to the mall.
Diva of Choice: Beyonce or Rihanna (there is no in-between)
Top or Bottom: Bottom.
The Homo Thug
The Homo Thugs days are numbered since this is a group that usually patterns itself after trends in Hip-Hop, and the thug image is slowly fading. However, this image is still a selling point in gay porn and a popular refuge for closeted men. He usually has archaic notions about Black male sexuality and equates thug with masculinity. He is disrespectful, self-hating, and needs to pull his pants up.
Activities: Hiding, lying, saying I don't do that gay shit, smoking weed, being ignorant, having kids, having a limited vocabulary, not returning calls, breaking hearts.
Diva of Choice: Lil Wayne
Top or Bottom: Outdoor Top/Indoor Bottom
The Big Boy
These teddy bears are sweet, loving, warm and always horny. The lines between a good meal and good sex are often so blurred that any conversation involving meat will simply have to be taken in stride. He is way more confident than you think he has a right to be, always has a date (because he looks healthy), he's funny, and will give you anything in the world as long as you are consistently fucking his brains out.
Activities: Calling skinny bitches skinny bitches, cooking, hugging, making inappropriate double entendres, grabbing.
Diva of Choice: Jennifer Hudson
Top or Bottom: Bottom.
The Muscle Queen
They roll in packs and only date each other. You never see them during the winter months because they are in the gym 24/7. Come summer, he's wearing the smallest tank-top or the tightest t-shirt. Don't bother lusting after him, because you do not exist in his world.
Activities: Making fun of fat people, lifting weights, talking about lifting weights, accusing skinny people of being sick, dating white guys, bumping into people, being penetrated.
Diva of Choice: Creatine.
Top or Bottom: Power Bottom.
The Church Queen
In spite of the Black church's reputation for homophobia and intolerance, you will find that a number of Black gay men make the church the cornerstone of their social interaction, perhaps out of a sense of familial or religious obligation, or simply because the choir is so fierce. The Church Queen is usually loyal and loving, but is prone to Tourette-like outbursts of Jee-suss!! in any given situation. He listens to gospel music constantly and considers Loretta Divine his spirit animal.
Activities: Cooking, talking loud, clutching his pearls, singing, being called mother, being single, speaking with a southern twang even though he's from the midwest or the northeast.
Diva of Choice: Karen Clark Sheard
Top or Bottom: Sanctified Bottom.
The Uppity Snob
He is educated, has a six-figure salary, a nice car and a big house, but nothing is good enough for him. He will throw dinner parties with his Coven Of The Articulate and they will all wear hard-soled shoes regardless of the season, time of day or theme. When he's among other types of gays, he will roll his eyes, sneer, or attempt to oppress them intellectually. In spite of all his accomplishments, hell never be happy, cant take a joke and never laughs. He can usually be found in the club wearing a blazer and sipping a cocktail against the wall.
Activities: Debating, sighing, having a small penis, having furniture delivered, going to the spa, being offended, finding excuses to use any word that requires a schwa.
Diva of Choice: Whitney Houston
Top or Bottom: Bottom.
The Alterna-Queen
He doesn't like the gay scene because he finds it too mainstream. You can find him a coffee shop with his Mac Book Pro listening to underground Soul or Hip-Hop, writing poetry and waiting for someone with whom he can debate the oppression of goats and librarians. He often accuses people of not getting him and reactively dislikes anything that everyone else likes. He’s basically The Uppity Snob but with dreadlocks.
Activities: Poetry slams, debating, having his locks re-twisted, blogging, shopping at outdoor markets, calling himself a photographer, quoting Marcus Garvey, dating white men.
Diva of Choice: Some bitch you never heard of.
Top or Bottom: Top for white guys, otherwise bottom.
The Old Queen
The Old Queen has seen everything and done everyone. He thinks you're frivolous and that you stole everything from his generation. He will say things like in my day, the men were men and remember when House music was House music? He is short of patience and doesn't want to hear your whining.
Activities: Knowing everything. Remembering everything.
Diva of Choice: Stephanie Mills, Teena Marie, Chaka Khan or Luther Vandross.
Top or Bottom: Like it even matters.
I'm a combonation of 3 of these men. Can you guess which 3?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Parking Troubles
Buenos Dias bloggers!!
Honey, hot weather brings out all the boys, new and old! So, drug dealer trade came through last night. I haven't seen him in about 6 months. I thought his ass was locked up again or something. I was happy to find out that he got rid of the huge ass hummer truck he had the last time he was here. He traded it for one of those new Lincoln's that I like. Anywayz, he still is as sexy as I remember. For my new readers, drug dealer trade stands about 5'10" tall, a carmel complexion, bald head, about 175lbs of solid muscle. Huge arms and chest, sexy stomach. Always smelling and looking good. Always got some new shoes. The problem with him is that he's a bottom. Guess I should say versatile now since he now thinks that I'm gonna give him some.
He sucks dick for days!! Some of the best head I've ever had. There was no sex last night. The head was so good I didn't have strenght for anyting else. His meat is kinda cute though, maybe one day I'll buckle and let him have. We had a wonderful night. So wonderful that I got my ass up and cooked breakfast. I found out that he's a vegetarian so he ended up eatting grits and eggs. After breakfast I got some more head and then he left to go home. I got a call about 3 minutes after he walked out the door. "Man, somebody stole my car!" After he said that, I lost the sexual high I was on.
In my neighborhood, parking is horrible. Especially after 8pm. Its like everybody and they mama got a car in this apartment complex. So when he came over so late I knew he parked kinda far away. This is PG county so it is a fact that your car will eventually be broken into or something. To be stolen is on a different level. So he called the police and found out that his car had been towed. That was sort of a releif, at least we knew that it hadn't been stolen and where it was. I got dressed and drove him to the police station. We ended up having to leave there and go to the courthouse. It was trade bootz in their!! They musht have been having a trade convention or something!! I was enjoying the sights so much that this spanish thing caught me looking at one piece and he was like, "You like that don't you?" I couldn't help but say, "Yes I do!!" He laughed and so did I.
Drug dealer trade found out that he had over $500 worth of unpaid parking tickets. He was mad as hell. Talking all kinds of shit. As we got back in my car to take him to the metro he said, "For one night of pleasure I'm charged, $500." I couldn't help but think, I worth that and more.
I think this is going to be a summer for the record books. Boys, boys, boys!!Stay tuned!!!
Honey, hot weather brings out all the boys, new and old! So, drug dealer trade came through last night. I haven't seen him in about 6 months. I thought his ass was locked up again or something. I was happy to find out that he got rid of the huge ass hummer truck he had the last time he was here. He traded it for one of those new Lincoln's that I like. Anywayz, he still is as sexy as I remember. For my new readers, drug dealer trade stands about 5'10" tall, a carmel complexion, bald head, about 175lbs of solid muscle. Huge arms and chest, sexy stomach. Always smelling and looking good. Always got some new shoes. The problem with him is that he's a bottom. Guess I should say versatile now since he now thinks that I'm gonna give him some.
He sucks dick for days!! Some of the best head I've ever had. There was no sex last night. The head was so good I didn't have strenght for anyting else. His meat is kinda cute though, maybe one day I'll buckle and let him have. We had a wonderful night. So wonderful that I got my ass up and cooked breakfast. I found out that he's a vegetarian so he ended up eatting grits and eggs. After breakfast I got some more head and then he left to go home. I got a call about 3 minutes after he walked out the door. "Man, somebody stole my car!" After he said that, I lost the sexual high I was on.
In my neighborhood, parking is horrible. Especially after 8pm. Its like everybody and they mama got a car in this apartment complex. So when he came over so late I knew he parked kinda far away. This is PG county so it is a fact that your car will eventually be broken into or something. To be stolen is on a different level. So he called the police and found out that his car had been towed. That was sort of a releif, at least we knew that it hadn't been stolen and where it was. I got dressed and drove him to the police station. We ended up having to leave there and go to the courthouse. It was trade bootz in their!! They musht have been having a trade convention or something!! I was enjoying the sights so much that this spanish thing caught me looking at one piece and he was like, "You like that don't you?" I couldn't help but say, "Yes I do!!" He laughed and so did I.
Drug dealer trade found out that he had over $500 worth of unpaid parking tickets. He was mad as hell. Talking all kinds of shit. As we got back in my car to take him to the metro he said, "For one night of pleasure I'm charged, $500." I couldn't help but think, I worth that and more.
I think this is going to be a summer for the record books. Boys, boys, boys!!Stay tuned!!!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
My West Indian Problem
Hello All,
Seems like the only time I'm blogging is when I have something heavy on my mind. Well, today is like Monica said, "Just one of dem days."
I met this West Indian trade about 3 years ago. We've been fucking around every now and then since then. I hate to say this but I AM SO FUCKING STRUNG OVER THIS NIGGA! He stands about 6'1, (I like them tall!), 165lbs solid, chocolate complexion, a 9.5 inch thick piece of meat, and definintely rough around the edges. Trade Bootz!!! Just looking at him or thinking about him is such a fucking turn on.
Like I said, we've been fucking around for about 3 years. Certain times stand out in my mind when I think about him. He lives about 20 or 30 miles from me but thats one dick I'd drive 100 miles to get. I think he lives with his dad who is always out of town. I know that he was once married and has a child or children. One time that I was with him I walked into his bedroom to find a room full of toys, a baby seat and other "evidence" of a child. Now, you all know that I can be one clumsy bitch. I was tripping all over that childs toys and shit. He had to catch me once from falling. That was so sweet. He fucked me bootz that night.
Another time I was over his place, I kept hearing all this noise. Now, everytime I've been there we were alone. I thought a fucking rat was on the loose or something. I asked, "Whats all that noise?" He has always been truthful with me, or at least I think, and he said, "O, thats my grandmother." At that point, I felt totally uneasy but once again overcame that when he pulled out that dick. We fucked bootz again. I forgot his grandmother was there and he had to put his hand over my mouth for all the noise I was making. Hey, don't judge me, when its good its goooooD!!
Two weeks ago, he came to my place for the first time. I stood at the window watching his sexy ass walk up. I immediately became weak in the knees just watching him. He was on his way to work so we didn't have too much time. We chatted a bit, got into a heated discussion about divorce, which is something I don't believe in. My grandparents stuck together through all types of shit and were together till death did they part. I really don't believe you should get married if you won't stick to those vows. This is how I found out that he was once married. That conversation touched a nerve with him and I got a chance to see another side of him, serious and silly at the same time. So we did the do again but it was different. Most trade are only out for their nut and certain pieces I excuse that behavior. He is one of those pieces who I let have their way. If he wanted to fuck me in the ear, he could, lol!!!! Anywayz, he stopped short of busting and I was confused. I thought something was wrong. He said, "I want to see you come too." Well, that was a first for him. Thats also when my body forgot how to have an orgasm. I couldn't bust to save my life. Plus his ass kept watching the clock, didn't want to be late for work. So he gets his and we clean up. I felt like I was floating the rest of the day.
The thing that is heavy on my heart is that he is so hard to contact. Over the years, I've tried to call him, text him and the like and get no response. I can only contact him over a4a. So, I accepted it for what it is since my body is like, "you ain't letting that dick go nigga!" Two days ago, I see him online and tell him that I think he got my whipped. He responds, "Then why don't you hit me up sometime!" I am totally in shock. I send a reply explaining how I've called and texted him and never get a response. And just like magic, he logs off without giving me a response. I immediately text him and he says, "I'm in class." So I left him alone. I send another text last night and once again I didn't get a response.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!! I have to throw my hands up on this nigga. I'm going to send him another text eventually but I know that humans are creatures of habit and he'll want some more of this ass. I just wish I could remove a4a as the intermediary and use the damn phone like normal folks!!! LOL!!!!
Seems like the only time I'm blogging is when I have something heavy on my mind. Well, today is like Monica said, "Just one of dem days."
I met this West Indian trade about 3 years ago. We've been fucking around every now and then since then. I hate to say this but I AM SO FUCKING STRUNG OVER THIS NIGGA! He stands about 6'1, (I like them tall!), 165lbs solid, chocolate complexion, a 9.5 inch thick piece of meat, and definintely rough around the edges. Trade Bootz!!! Just looking at him or thinking about him is such a fucking turn on.
Like I said, we've been fucking around for about 3 years. Certain times stand out in my mind when I think about him. He lives about 20 or 30 miles from me but thats one dick I'd drive 100 miles to get. I think he lives with his dad who is always out of town. I know that he was once married and has a child or children. One time that I was with him I walked into his bedroom to find a room full of toys, a baby seat and other "evidence" of a child. Now, you all know that I can be one clumsy bitch. I was tripping all over that childs toys and shit. He had to catch me once from falling. That was so sweet. He fucked me bootz that night.
Another time I was over his place, I kept hearing all this noise. Now, everytime I've been there we were alone. I thought a fucking rat was on the loose or something. I asked, "Whats all that noise?" He has always been truthful with me, or at least I think, and he said, "O, thats my grandmother." At that point, I felt totally uneasy but once again overcame that when he pulled out that dick. We fucked bootz again. I forgot his grandmother was there and he had to put his hand over my mouth for all the noise I was making. Hey, don't judge me, when its good its goooooD!!
Two weeks ago, he came to my place for the first time. I stood at the window watching his sexy ass walk up. I immediately became weak in the knees just watching him. He was on his way to work so we didn't have too much time. We chatted a bit, got into a heated discussion about divorce, which is something I don't believe in. My grandparents stuck together through all types of shit and were together till death did they part. I really don't believe you should get married if you won't stick to those vows. This is how I found out that he was once married. That conversation touched a nerve with him and I got a chance to see another side of him, serious and silly at the same time. So we did the do again but it was different. Most trade are only out for their nut and certain pieces I excuse that behavior. He is one of those pieces who I let have their way. If he wanted to fuck me in the ear, he could, lol!!!! Anywayz, he stopped short of busting and I was confused. I thought something was wrong. He said, "I want to see you come too." Well, that was a first for him. Thats also when my body forgot how to have an orgasm. I couldn't bust to save my life. Plus his ass kept watching the clock, didn't want to be late for work. So he gets his and we clean up. I felt like I was floating the rest of the day.
The thing that is heavy on my heart is that he is so hard to contact. Over the years, I've tried to call him, text him and the like and get no response. I can only contact him over a4a. So, I accepted it for what it is since my body is like, "you ain't letting that dick go nigga!" Two days ago, I see him online and tell him that I think he got my whipped. He responds, "Then why don't you hit me up sometime!" I am totally in shock. I send a reply explaining how I've called and texted him and never get a response. And just like magic, he logs off without giving me a response. I immediately text him and he says, "I'm in class." So I left him alone. I send another text last night and once again I didn't get a response.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!! I have to throw my hands up on this nigga. I'm going to send him another text eventually but I know that humans are creatures of habit and he'll want some more of this ass. I just wish I could remove a4a as the intermediary and use the damn phone like normal folks!!! LOL!!!!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Your plans have been cancelled.....Sincerly, GOD.
Hello All!!!
I have spent the last 10 mintues or so looking over my previous posts. I must say that I ended 2009 on a positive note. I finally finished pharmacy school and couldn't be happier. I celebrated New Year's with my DC peeps and brought 2010 in with a bang. But by January 11th, I would get a taste of what the first 6 months or so of this year has in store for me.
On January 11th I lost my job. I wasn't sweating that because it was time for a change. I felt like my body had been cleansed of some type of virus that was slowly killing me. I remember asking God for a break where I didn't have to go to work or school, just some time to myself. I haven't had that sort of break since the summer of 1994 when I was 13 years old. My mom always had me in some type of summer program from then on. And once I finished high school, I immediately started college that summer (2 weeks after my high school graduation) and got a job so I was due for a break. I must say that that break came earlier than expected but God makes no mistakes.
I also did some saving which is a total surprise to me. My shopping trips can be fierce! I started the process of becoming a licensed pharmacist. For the state that I am intending to practice in, this process has 3 parts. I passed the Oral English Equivalency Exam in early January. This exam ensures that I can speak English so in case someone has a question they can understand clearly the point I (the pharmacist) am trying to get across. That exam wasn't bad so I had a real confidence boost once the results came back in my favor.
In early February I took the Pharmacy Law portion of my boards. That exam was hard as hell and I swore that I had failed it but lo and behold I passed it with a good score! I went to Miami in the middle of the month to interview for a pharmacy residency position and to celebrate my accomplishments. That was a horrible interview! I was asked about some projects I had done which should have been easy to talk about but my mind froze and I fumbled through that interview like I was a 1st year pharmacy student instead of a newly christianed Doctor of Pharmacy. I was so embarrased.
So to forget that interview I went clubbing and sightseeing. Unfortunantly it was cold in Florida. It was like 45 to 50 degrees. I didn't know it got cold in South Florida! I had brought my bathing suit and short sleeved polo shirts and the such. I was so disappointed with the weather. I hung out on Miami Beach and I went to Club Score where I partied my ass off like I was back at the Bachelor's Mill. The music was cute and so were the boys. I celebrated being free from school, free from work, and passing the first two portions of my board exams.
I took this picture once I stumbled out of Club Score in the wee hours of the morning. Doesn't it look warm? After a couple of cute drinks at Score, I was warm too. I met two boys while I was there. One at the club and an italian guy online. Mr. Italian payed me a visit before I left and he had a long and thick surprise for me. You don't expect packages like that on a white boy. Lets just say that we warmed Florida back up before I got back on the plane.
Three days before my 29th birthday I took the last exam for licensing. It was also hard as hell but I was confident that I had passed. It was 185 questions on the most random subjects and was 5 hours long. The results came back in about a week, after my drag mother Diamond called the board to find out what was taking so long to post scores. I scored a 72. The passing score is 75. To say the least, I was absolutely devastated. Per regulations I have to wait 3 months before I can take it again meaning June 2nd is the earliest that I can retake that exam. Everyone told me not to be disappointed. Two of my pharmacist friends tried to cheer me up. One said she took the exam 4 times before she passed it and the other 3 times before she passed. That definintely didn't ease my pain. That exam cost me $690 and I don't have money like that to continuously give away.
I had planned on being fully licensed by mid March with a job in hand by the end of March. I had planned on flying my parents up for graduation in May and putting them in a swanky DC hotel. I had planned on a big graduation celebration. I had planned on going to New York Pride in June, the Essence Music Festival in New Orleans in July, Atlanta Pride in September and moving back south before the year is over. I had planned on finally living it up. Now I am unsure about my future and look to the horizon with uncertainty.
I have worked long and hard (no pun intended) to make something of myself and once again I find myself unable to reap the benefits. God did work it out where I do at least have monies for rent and bills through the month of June. I don't know what his plan is but I trust that he will work it out. I thought about getting a job to have some extra money but at this point I don't have the energy to put in for a job search. I really want to concentrate all my time and energy on passing this test in June. I'll give the job thing another thought in about a month.
So with that news I took a couple of days to sulk, complain about "why me", grew a full beard and stopped eatting. I decided it was time for a trip and went back to a place where I am loved for just being plain 'ol me. I went home.
I have spent the last 10 mintues or so looking over my previous posts. I must say that I ended 2009 on a positive note. I finally finished pharmacy school and couldn't be happier. I celebrated New Year's with my DC peeps and brought 2010 in with a bang. But by January 11th, I would get a taste of what the first 6 months or so of this year has in store for me.
On January 11th I lost my job. I wasn't sweating that because it was time for a change. I felt like my body had been cleansed of some type of virus that was slowly killing me. I remember asking God for a break where I didn't have to go to work or school, just some time to myself. I haven't had that sort of break since the summer of 1994 when I was 13 years old. My mom always had me in some type of summer program from then on. And once I finished high school, I immediately started college that summer (2 weeks after my high school graduation) and got a job so I was due for a break. I must say that that break came earlier than expected but God makes no mistakes.
I also did some saving which is a total surprise to me. My shopping trips can be fierce! I started the process of becoming a licensed pharmacist. For the state that I am intending to practice in, this process has 3 parts. I passed the Oral English Equivalency Exam in early January. This exam ensures that I can speak English so in case someone has a question they can understand clearly the point I (the pharmacist) am trying to get across. That exam wasn't bad so I had a real confidence boost once the results came back in my favor.
In early February I took the Pharmacy Law portion of my boards. That exam was hard as hell and I swore that I had failed it but lo and behold I passed it with a good score! I went to Miami in the middle of the month to interview for a pharmacy residency position and to celebrate my accomplishments. That was a horrible interview! I was asked about some projects I had done which should have been easy to talk about but my mind froze and I fumbled through that interview like I was a 1st year pharmacy student instead of a newly christianed Doctor of Pharmacy. I was so embarrased.
So to forget that interview I went clubbing and sightseeing. Unfortunantly it was cold in Florida. It was like 45 to 50 degrees. I didn't know it got cold in South Florida! I had brought my bathing suit and short sleeved polo shirts and the such. I was so disappointed with the weather. I hung out on Miami Beach and I went to Club Score where I partied my ass off like I was back at the Bachelor's Mill. The music was cute and so were the boys. I celebrated being free from school, free from work, and passing the first two portions of my board exams.
I took this picture once I stumbled out of Club Score in the wee hours of the morning. Doesn't it look warm? After a couple of cute drinks at Score, I was warm too. I met two boys while I was there. One at the club and an italian guy online. Mr. Italian payed me a visit before I left and he had a long and thick surprise for me. You don't expect packages like that on a white boy. Lets just say that we warmed Florida back up before I got back on the plane.
Three days before my 29th birthday I took the last exam for licensing. It was also hard as hell but I was confident that I had passed. It was 185 questions on the most random subjects and was 5 hours long. The results came back in about a week, after my drag mother Diamond called the board to find out what was taking so long to post scores. I scored a 72. The passing score is 75. To say the least, I was absolutely devastated. Per regulations I have to wait 3 months before I can take it again meaning June 2nd is the earliest that I can retake that exam. Everyone told me not to be disappointed. Two of my pharmacist friends tried to cheer me up. One said she took the exam 4 times before she passed it and the other 3 times before she passed. That definintely didn't ease my pain. That exam cost me $690 and I don't have money like that to continuously give away.
I had planned on being fully licensed by mid March with a job in hand by the end of March. I had planned on flying my parents up for graduation in May and putting them in a swanky DC hotel. I had planned on a big graduation celebration. I had planned on going to New York Pride in June, the Essence Music Festival in New Orleans in July, Atlanta Pride in September and moving back south before the year is over. I had planned on finally living it up. Now I am unsure about my future and look to the horizon with uncertainty.
I have worked long and hard (no pun intended) to make something of myself and once again I find myself unable to reap the benefits. God did work it out where I do at least have monies for rent and bills through the month of June. I don't know what his plan is but I trust that he will work it out. I thought about getting a job to have some extra money but at this point I don't have the energy to put in for a job search. I really want to concentrate all my time and energy on passing this test in June. I'll give the job thing another thought in about a month.
So with that news I took a couple of days to sulk, complain about "why me", grew a full beard and stopped eatting. I decided it was time for a trip and went back to a place where I am loved for just being plain 'ol me. I went home.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Just no manners
Sebastian, mama Diamond and I went out to eat back on February 13th. Diamond and Sebastian had been out all day shopping for Sebastian's new apartment. I don't know how that bitch did it. She partied with me the night before and when I say she partied she par-tayed. When she dropped me off at home the night before I fell in the bed.
When Diamond called me the next morning I promptly ignored the call, rolled my ass back over and went back to sleep. Around 1PM I called her back to find out that she and Sebastian had been out all day. They were getting ready to get something to eat and wanted to know if I wanted to go. Since I hadn't been anywhere all day I agreed. It took those bitches 2 hours to come scoop me and I was mad as hell. Since they were taking so long I decided to take my ass to Five Guys. I was starving. While I was talking to Diamond about what was taking them so damn long I hear Sebastian in the background going off. I was so over it.
They finally did come and we went to IHOP. It was a cute outing. Since I was so hungry I ordered alot of food. Of course Diamnond's fat ass was the first to finish her meal. She was sitting directly across from me. As I was eating my meal that bitch inhales and then exhales blowing her breath directly across the table into my face. I felt like throwing the fuck up.
That shit was so nasty. Now, her breath was fresh but still why would anyone do that? After that I didn't want anything else to eat. What kind of shit is that? Now I know her mother taught her better!!!!
When Diamond called me the next morning I promptly ignored the call, rolled my ass back over and went back to sleep. Around 1PM I called her back to find out that she and Sebastian had been out all day. They were getting ready to get something to eat and wanted to know if I wanted to go. Since I hadn't been anywhere all day I agreed. It took those bitches 2 hours to come scoop me and I was mad as hell. Since they were taking so long I decided to take my ass to Five Guys. I was starving. While I was talking to Diamond about what was taking them so damn long I hear Sebastian in the background going off. I was so over it.
They finally did come and we went to IHOP. It was a cute outing. Since I was so hungry I ordered alot of food. Of course Diamnond's fat ass was the first to finish her meal. She was sitting directly across from me. As I was eating my meal that bitch inhales and then exhales blowing her breath directly across the table into my face. I felt like throwing the fuck up.
That shit was so nasty. Now, her breath was fresh but still why would anyone do that? After that I didn't want anything else to eat. What kind of shit is that? Now I know her mother taught her better!!!!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Cabin Fever!!!!
If I was a writer, I would be one broke bitch!
It has been over a month since last speaking with my bloggers! But over the last couple of days so much has gone on that I just have to spill the beans. It has been snowing here in the district and last Friday (the 12th) made a week of snow, snow, snow. You all know that I am a southerner and this winter shit does not mix well with me!
This is a shot of my neighborhood. I have lived in this area now for 5 years this month and I never bothered to buy a snow shovel. It really never snowed that much here. But with this last snow fall, records were broken. You should have seen my ass outside with a mop bucket and a dust pan trying to scoop that shit off my car. It took me forever but I finally did dig it out. I tried to find a snow shovel but no luck. Bastards!
So as you can see, I soon developed a bad case of cabin fever. By Thursday I was ready to party but had to take my ass back inside because my car was blocked by snow again. Friday morning I got up and moved all the snow because I knew I was going somewhere before the night was over.
I had been speaking with this Jamaican guy I met last year. Over the year we have kept in touch and he told me he would be in the DC area over the weekend and wanted to hook up. He's tall, around 6'2" just like I like them but has one of the most fucked up personalities I've ever encountered. He's one of those aggressive dominant type guys which is a major turnoff for me. He sent me a text message asking can he watch me fuck myself with a dildo. What?? Are you crazy?? Then he ask can he bring someone else?? I am not your personal fuck toy!!!!! So Friday evening I get another text that says, "I wanna fuck." Before I got that message I was truly over it. When it popped up I responded back, "Get a dildo."
As I was preparing for a night on the town, he called and I agreed to meet him for a bit. He came over and we chatted for a bit. The recession has hit him too and he said he was currently self-employed which means unemployed to me. So we of course fell into old habits. He has a beautiful piece of uncut meat. Probably about 8 inches but thick and dangerous. Very verbal guy which works my fucking nerves. Don't be asking me questions when I got a mouthful of dick! So everything was going good until he got a little carried away and tried to pick me up and force me over the back of my couch and shoving his dick at the same time. After that situation I stopped all the damn presses, gave him a handjob and told him I was leaving to go out soon.
He was disappointed but I explained to him that dick doesn't have to be forced. Ass and pussy are two different things and I don't care how much lube you put, that hole is not going to open until its good and relaxed. His ass played dumb like he couldn't understand that concept so he had to go. I'll be goddamned to ever end up in a hospital trying to explain how I ripped my ass open!
He left and I hooked up with my best friend Sebastian for a night on the town. I had decided earlier we were going down to Zeigfield's to catch a drag show then go upstairs to see the strippers. Sebastian had never been and I knew he was in for a memorable night. Its not one of my favorite spots here but its cute. The strippers are OVAH!! Unfortunately it was closed due to the snow storm from earlier in the week and I was highly upset.
So we ended up at the Mill. For me the only time to go to the Mill is on a Thursday when they are playing my house music. House is a quickly dying form of music and if the good lord above ever allows me to open a nightclub I am going to breath some new life into house music. I absolutely love it and will proceed to loose my mind if a good beat comes on! Sebastian partied her ass off. That bitch had gotten us some strong Mill drinks from the absolute worst bartender. I told that bitch a long time ago to never go to this particular bartender but she marched her ass over there and brought back some drinks. I sipped mine and she proceeded to guzzle hers down. She was soon out there on the dance floor flipping it, twirling it and dropping it like its hot. I told her about those damn drinks. She was killing it and that's so out of her character. I tried to get into the party mood but just couldn't. Another blogger was there, Q who has the best blog of all DC--The Purveyor of All Things. I was in shock to see him there because we all know that he does not party with the black girls. He looked absolutely fabulous, his skin was giving me recent microderm abrasion. He wasn't there long. As I was dropping it on a Beyonce beat he was hugging everyone goodbye. He couldn't have been there for more than 20 minutes.
So the night quickly came to a close and I still had that empty feeling. I went out to try and get rid of my Cabin fever but once I stepped back over the threshold of my apartment that fever followed me inside. So I started to make plans for Saturday night.
It has been over a month since last speaking with my bloggers! But over the last couple of days so much has gone on that I just have to spill the beans. It has been snowing here in the district and last Friday (the 12th) made a week of snow, snow, snow. You all know that I am a southerner and this winter shit does not mix well with me!
This is a shot of my neighborhood. I have lived in this area now for 5 years this month and I never bothered to buy a snow shovel. It really never snowed that much here. But with this last snow fall, records were broken. You should have seen my ass outside with a mop bucket and a dust pan trying to scoop that shit off my car. It took me forever but I finally did dig it out. I tried to find a snow shovel but no luck. Bastards!
So as you can see, I soon developed a bad case of cabin fever. By Thursday I was ready to party but had to take my ass back inside because my car was blocked by snow again. Friday morning I got up and moved all the snow because I knew I was going somewhere before the night was over.
I had been speaking with this Jamaican guy I met last year. Over the year we have kept in touch and he told me he would be in the DC area over the weekend and wanted to hook up. He's tall, around 6'2" just like I like them but has one of the most fucked up personalities I've ever encountered. He's one of those aggressive dominant type guys which is a major turnoff for me. He sent me a text message asking can he watch me fuck myself with a dildo. What?? Are you crazy?? Then he ask can he bring someone else?? I am not your personal fuck toy!!!!! So Friday evening I get another text that says, "I wanna fuck." Before I got that message I was truly over it. When it popped up I responded back, "Get a dildo."
As I was preparing for a night on the town, he called and I agreed to meet him for a bit. He came over and we chatted for a bit. The recession has hit him too and he said he was currently self-employed which means unemployed to me. So we of course fell into old habits. He has a beautiful piece of uncut meat. Probably about 8 inches but thick and dangerous. Very verbal guy which works my fucking nerves. Don't be asking me questions when I got a mouthful of dick! So everything was going good until he got a little carried away and tried to pick me up and force me over the back of my couch and shoving his dick at the same time. After that situation I stopped all the damn presses, gave him a handjob and told him I was leaving to go out soon.
He was disappointed but I explained to him that dick doesn't have to be forced. Ass and pussy are two different things and I don't care how much lube you put, that hole is not going to open until its good and relaxed. His ass played dumb like he couldn't understand that concept so he had to go. I'll be goddamned to ever end up in a hospital trying to explain how I ripped my ass open!
He left and I hooked up with my best friend Sebastian for a night on the town. I had decided earlier we were going down to Zeigfield's to catch a drag show then go upstairs to see the strippers. Sebastian had never been and I knew he was in for a memorable night. Its not one of my favorite spots here but its cute. The strippers are OVAH!! Unfortunately it was closed due to the snow storm from earlier in the week and I was highly upset.
So we ended up at the Mill. For me the only time to go to the Mill is on a Thursday when they are playing my house music. House is a quickly dying form of music and if the good lord above ever allows me to open a nightclub I am going to breath some new life into house music. I absolutely love it and will proceed to loose my mind if a good beat comes on! Sebastian partied her ass off. That bitch had gotten us some strong Mill drinks from the absolute worst bartender. I told that bitch a long time ago to never go to this particular bartender but she marched her ass over there and brought back some drinks. I sipped mine and she proceeded to guzzle hers down. She was soon out there on the dance floor flipping it, twirling it and dropping it like its hot. I told her about those damn drinks. She was killing it and that's so out of her character. I tried to get into the party mood but just couldn't. Another blogger was there, Q who has the best blog of all DC--The Purveyor of All Things. I was in shock to see him there because we all know that he does not party with the black girls. He looked absolutely fabulous, his skin was giving me recent microderm abrasion. He wasn't there long. As I was dropping it on a Beyonce beat he was hugging everyone goodbye. He couldn't have been there for more than 20 minutes.
So the night quickly came to a close and I still had that empty feeling. I went out to try and get rid of my Cabin fever but once I stepped back over the threshold of my apartment that fever followed me inside. So I started to make plans for Saturday night.
Monday, January 11, 2010
A New Year and a new day
Happy New Year Everyone!!!!
This year was off to a running start for me. I celebrated New Years with my friends here in DC. Went over to a house party given by Ms. Stronge Kelly, and Cookie and had a good time. We ate, drank, laughed and rang in the New Year together. The house was packed. I usually stay home on New Years and watch the ball drop but my friends dragged me out and I was glad that they did. Cookie got full boots on jello shots and alcohol. I've never seen her like that. I got my life!
So for the dirt. My days with CVS have finally come to an end. I was unceromoniously let go of my duties with the company today. I guess I should be mad or bitter but for some odd reason I still haven't broken a sweat about how it was done. The company never extended an offer of full employement to me so I had the feeling that this day was coming. It is widely known that if an intern does not sign with the company before graduation, their employment is to be terminated. It is dirty and especially for me after giving 6 years of my life to CVS. But as I have said in earlier posts I always knew that with education I would never be in a position where I would have to be somewhere I don't really want to be. It feels good to know that I have knowledge now that cannot be taken away and to be able to walk away from something with no regrets whatsoever.
So this is how it went down. Went to work around noon today and jumped back into my regular duties. Around 3:30 the new pharmacy manager came and said he needed to speak to me and I said ok. We went into the store managers office and made small talk about how busy it was which as usual it was busy as hell in there. We had a conversation about what the previous manager thought about my employment, remember the asshole from career day that I was told to ask for more hours? Yeah him. He and I had a conversation last month about how he thought I didn't want to work as a community pharmacist so he did some type of paperwork on me which would have ended my employment in November. A new manager was hired so I kind of slipped through the cracks on that.
I explained to the new manager what our conversation was about. He explained his stance on things and told me that an offer was not extended to me because they felt I wasn't the "right fit" for the company. On that note, I acutally totally agree. Maybe thats another reason why I wasn't upset. If I want a career in pharmacy where I can truly make a difference, a retail pharmacy won't be the place. I think retail would be a great place to start but I can't see myself beeing happy with this type of work 25 years down the road. I actually want to go to a place where I can be of great service and make a real difference. I was told that my employment would be terminated as of today. The old me would have made a big fuss about it, cussed him out, got my shit and went down one of the aisle's knocking all of their shit off as I went. And then cussed out anyone who had something to say. I must say that I handled that nicely. I was already dressed to kill, got my Armani scarf and polo hat, my trench coat and left.
But this is the kicker yall. You ready for this?? After I was told that my employment was terminated the new manager pulls out an entry from this very blog and tells me that anything posted on the internet is for public use. Uhh yeah, thats why it was posted. I guess he thought that I would say it wasn't me or have a surprised look on my face but as I said I haven't broken a sweat yet. I am actually flattered that they have taken the time to searh for little ol me on the internet and read my blog. Wow.
You see, it took a long time for me to be comfortable in my own skin and I have never been one to hide my thoughts. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe this blog is not good career wise but it is an outlet and something I enjoy doing. School is over and now its time for a job or a residency. With this degree, I don't have to work for a retail store, hospital, etc. With this particular degree I can open my own shit and be my own boss. The lord up above makes no mistakes and as I was told as a child when one door closes another opens. Another thing I learned from growing up poor is to always put something back. Glad I listened. So my next step is to pass my boards. I have to take 3 exams for that and already got one of those out of the way on the 5th, two exams to go. I was planning on taking some time off to really put in some study time but plans have changed so it looks like I may take these exams earlier due to have so much time on my hands now.
Hmmm, decisions, decisions, decisions.
Smoochies!!
This year was off to a running start for me. I celebrated New Years with my friends here in DC. Went over to a house party given by Ms. Stronge Kelly, and Cookie and had a good time. We ate, drank, laughed and rang in the New Year together. The house was packed. I usually stay home on New Years and watch the ball drop but my friends dragged me out and I was glad that they did. Cookie got full boots on jello shots and alcohol. I've never seen her like that. I got my life!
So for the dirt. My days with CVS have finally come to an end. I was unceromoniously let go of my duties with the company today. I guess I should be mad or bitter but for some odd reason I still haven't broken a sweat about how it was done. The company never extended an offer of full employement to me so I had the feeling that this day was coming. It is widely known that if an intern does not sign with the company before graduation, their employment is to be terminated. It is dirty and especially for me after giving 6 years of my life to CVS. But as I have said in earlier posts I always knew that with education I would never be in a position where I would have to be somewhere I don't really want to be. It feels good to know that I have knowledge now that cannot be taken away and to be able to walk away from something with no regrets whatsoever.
So this is how it went down. Went to work around noon today and jumped back into my regular duties. Around 3:30 the new pharmacy manager came and said he needed to speak to me and I said ok. We went into the store managers office and made small talk about how busy it was which as usual it was busy as hell in there. We had a conversation about what the previous manager thought about my employment, remember the asshole from career day that I was told to ask for more hours? Yeah him. He and I had a conversation last month about how he thought I didn't want to work as a community pharmacist so he did some type of paperwork on me which would have ended my employment in November. A new manager was hired so I kind of slipped through the cracks on that.
I explained to the new manager what our conversation was about. He explained his stance on things and told me that an offer was not extended to me because they felt I wasn't the "right fit" for the company. On that note, I acutally totally agree. Maybe thats another reason why I wasn't upset. If I want a career in pharmacy where I can truly make a difference, a retail pharmacy won't be the place. I think retail would be a great place to start but I can't see myself beeing happy with this type of work 25 years down the road. I actually want to go to a place where I can be of great service and make a real difference. I was told that my employment would be terminated as of today. The old me would have made a big fuss about it, cussed him out, got my shit and went down one of the aisle's knocking all of their shit off as I went. And then cussed out anyone who had something to say. I must say that I handled that nicely. I was already dressed to kill, got my Armani scarf and polo hat, my trench coat and left.
But this is the kicker yall. You ready for this?? After I was told that my employment was terminated the new manager pulls out an entry from this very blog and tells me that anything posted on the internet is for public use. Uhh yeah, thats why it was posted. I guess he thought that I would say it wasn't me or have a surprised look on my face but as I said I haven't broken a sweat yet. I am actually flattered that they have taken the time to searh for little ol me on the internet and read my blog. Wow.
You see, it took a long time for me to be comfortable in my own skin and I have never been one to hide my thoughts. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe this blog is not good career wise but it is an outlet and something I enjoy doing. School is over and now its time for a job or a residency. With this degree, I don't have to work for a retail store, hospital, etc. With this particular degree I can open my own shit and be my own boss. The lord up above makes no mistakes and as I was told as a child when one door closes another opens. Another thing I learned from growing up poor is to always put something back. Glad I listened. So my next step is to pass my boards. I have to take 3 exams for that and already got one of those out of the way on the 5th, two exams to go. I was planning on taking some time off to really put in some study time but plans have changed so it looks like I may take these exams earlier due to have so much time on my hands now.
Hmmm, decisions, decisions, decisions.
Smoochies!!
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