Hello All,
Once again I've spent too much time away from this blog. Another year is quickly coming to an end and life has finally started to give me some breathing room.
Since my last post I am now a Doctor of Pharmacy. This little country boy has made good! I have been slowly and steadily preparing for my board exam. Two of what I thought were my good good friends from pharmacy school have been bullshitting around with me. I asked for board review materials from them and one took her sweet time getting me the material and the other still hasn't given me shit. Then I decided to apply for a pharmacy residency and asked them both for recommendations since they are Doctor's and shit. They both said yeah. One of them asked me to "send them something" I guess to get them started. What kind of shit is that?
That was crazy to me. This friend has two degree's but wants me to "send her something" to get her started. I've started to think that she doesn't want to write it for me. I wish she would just say that, let me be pissed for a while and then find someone else to write it. The recommendation is due in less than a month!
So I have also jumped back into my shitty CVS job. As much as I would like to quit; it is a paying job and I need it to try to pay the $1000 for my boards and also balance paying rent in February. Those muthafucka's don't know that I am going to silently pass these board exams and never show the fuck back up. I also have to find another job and for a profession that is supposedly "in demand" and "in a current shortage" the jobs in this area seem to be scarce or maybe I'm looking in the wrong places for a job. I blame it on having two pharmacy schools in the area who turn out around 200 or so graduates per year. Hopefully doing a residency will give me another edge above the competition.
I am so happy right now. I wonder how long will this feeling last. Happiness is something that never seems to last long with me. A little over a year ago on a trip to New York, I got my first tattoo. I was down in the village with my best friend Sebastian when I got the overwhelming urge to get a tattoo.
I had tattooed to my left arm the Chinese symbols for love and happiness. I figured that as long as it is attached to my body I'd always have it.
Wish me luck. Smoochies!!!!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Another mess with T
Hello All!!!
I don't know how long everyone has been reading my blog so you may have to go back a couple of entries to understand this "sort of" follow up post.
It has been almost 6 months since I met T. And like all relationships I've been in, it started out wonderfully then quickly spun out of control. I found myself quickly pulling 80% of the relationship. How you ask? I became the taxi, maid, bank, hotel, mother, and Karrine Steffans-----if you know what I mean. After 2 months of trying to keep it all afloat, I gave up. I was exhausted. I was hurt. Wow, I thought, another failed relationship.
But it was not truly over. He still spent some time here. Got some when he wanted it. I think one of the main reasons that he is still in my life is because he still has some personal belongings here such as his flat screen tv and desktop computer.
Anyway, last night while my girl Whitney was making her acceptance speech, T called. Said he was at a bus stop and wanted to see me. It felt good to hear that someone wanted to see me. Unfortunately, that good feeling went away 10 seconds later when he said he had missed his bus and needed to get home (Arlington, Va) to get his work clothes. Once again, I was only needed to be a taxi. And like the fool that I am I stopped everything I was doing to go see about him. I found out he was down at the Bachelor's Mill after being dropped off there. I put on some clothes and made my way out there. My drag mother Diamond called as I was leaving to talk about Whitney's performance. That lady has some kind of intuition. She asked if I was driving somewhere. I said yes. She said, I know you not going to get that bum from somewhere are you? I said yes. She was hurt but said she would let me handle the situation. I wish I knew how.
It was karaoke night at the mill and it was packed. My drag grandmother Alleycat was there and two of my drag aunts Sabrina and Jasmine were there also. Tallulah Fox Deverroux was there so it was like a big reunion. Jasmine sang a Phyllis Hymann song, "Meet me on the Moon". Phyllis always takes me there. For those of you who don't have a Phyllis Hymann album or don't know who she is, please go out and get one of her albums NOW. T was there drunk, pulling on me, talking all loud. Showing all sorts of inappropriate public displays of affection. I made him buy me a drink which he complained fiercely about. It took him two months to drain my bank account, me four months to put it back together and he complains about a measly $8 drink. I quickly lost myself in the crowd and tried to have some fun.
I finished my drink and we left. Got outside and he started pulling on me again, knocked my expensive I-phone out of my hand. I swore it was broken but it was ok. Got to my car and he walked completely around it stating "I had to check to see if some niggah left a mark." I chopped up his behavior to alcohol but my nerves were quickly wearing thin. As soon as I got on the interstate to go to Virginia his ass was asleep. I didn't really know where I was going because I have only been to his place of residence a couple of times. I missed my exit, tried to wake him but ended up having to find my own way. Finally got there, woke him and he was on his way to get some clothes while all the time stating how he was going to tear my pussy up when we get back to my apartment. I went along with it, being the weak thing that I am, just trying not to start no shit with him. I knew that by the time I got home his ass would be in drunken stupor too high to get his dick hard.
Fifteen minutes later he was back from getting clothes and ready to argue. Arguing is something I can't stand and try my best to avoid. He was trying to get me to spend the night and as usual I refused. Once again, we started to argue why. Here is my reasoning:
1. This is not his apartment. His "roommate" is someone he has fucked in the past. He tried to hide this fact from me but I just had that feeling that he and that guy had fucked before. I just knew it. He finally admitted it two months into our relationship. I don't feel comfortable stepping foot into someones apartment that he dicked down in the past. I don't care how long ago that was.
2. Its in Arlington, Virginia. I stay in Maryland. My rotation site is in Maryland. What sense does it make to fight traffic in Virginia, then DC to get to my apartment to change clothes and then fight traffic again on the beltway to go to my rotation which I am suppose to be at by 7:30AM? It would take 2 to 2 and a half hours to do all that. O hell naw!!!
As we were driving he continued to argue until I finally met my breaking point. "Do you wanna go back, I asked?" "Yeah, take me back, he screamed." I tried my best to kill us both after that statement. I turned the radio up as loud as it would go and made the hardest U-turn I could. I floored the accelerator on my car, ran traffic lights, swerved across lanes. Tires screeched, and breaks squealed as I brought my car to a hard stop back in front of the apartment building we had just left. I tried to throw his ass out of the windshield when I stompped the brakes. He got out, threw a bottle of water at me which I picked up and hit his ass in the back. He slammed my door and I screeched off again. I was so upset.
Here I was. I had stopped watching a show to go help him. I got dressed. I drove all the way into the District. I picked him up. I drove him to Virginia to get HIS stuff. It was all done to please him. What did I get? An $8 drink that I got grief over, a couple of minutes conversation with some drag queens I knew, an increase in blood pressure and a sleepless night.
I've got a lifetime of failed relationships. From my relationships with both my parents which seem to be perpetually at a breaking point to my so called love life. I am so tired of this shit. I really wanna move out of this area and start over. My life at some point has to get better. It seems like I am always picking my face up out of the mud.
Maybe I should get a dog?
I don't know how long everyone has been reading my blog so you may have to go back a couple of entries to understand this "sort of" follow up post.
It has been almost 6 months since I met T. And like all relationships I've been in, it started out wonderfully then quickly spun out of control. I found myself quickly pulling 80% of the relationship. How you ask? I became the taxi, maid, bank, hotel, mother, and Karrine Steffans-----if you know what I mean. After 2 months of trying to keep it all afloat, I gave up. I was exhausted. I was hurt. Wow, I thought, another failed relationship.
But it was not truly over. He still spent some time here. Got some when he wanted it. I think one of the main reasons that he is still in my life is because he still has some personal belongings here such as his flat screen tv and desktop computer.
Anyway, last night while my girl Whitney was making her acceptance speech, T called. Said he was at a bus stop and wanted to see me. It felt good to hear that someone wanted to see me. Unfortunately, that good feeling went away 10 seconds later when he said he had missed his bus and needed to get home (Arlington, Va) to get his work clothes. Once again, I was only needed to be a taxi. And like the fool that I am I stopped everything I was doing to go see about him. I found out he was down at the Bachelor's Mill after being dropped off there. I put on some clothes and made my way out there. My drag mother Diamond called as I was leaving to talk about Whitney's performance. That lady has some kind of intuition. She asked if I was driving somewhere. I said yes. She said, I know you not going to get that bum from somewhere are you? I said yes. She was hurt but said she would let me handle the situation. I wish I knew how.
It was karaoke night at the mill and it was packed. My drag grandmother Alleycat was there and two of my drag aunts Sabrina and Jasmine were there also. Tallulah Fox Deverroux was there so it was like a big reunion. Jasmine sang a Phyllis Hymann song, "Meet me on the Moon". Phyllis always takes me there. For those of you who don't have a Phyllis Hymann album or don't know who she is, please go out and get one of her albums NOW. T was there drunk, pulling on me, talking all loud. Showing all sorts of inappropriate public displays of affection. I made him buy me a drink which he complained fiercely about. It took him two months to drain my bank account, me four months to put it back together and he complains about a measly $8 drink. I quickly lost myself in the crowd and tried to have some fun.
I finished my drink and we left. Got outside and he started pulling on me again, knocked my expensive I-phone out of my hand. I swore it was broken but it was ok. Got to my car and he walked completely around it stating "I had to check to see if some niggah left a mark." I chopped up his behavior to alcohol but my nerves were quickly wearing thin. As soon as I got on the interstate to go to Virginia his ass was asleep. I didn't really know where I was going because I have only been to his place of residence a couple of times. I missed my exit, tried to wake him but ended up having to find my own way. Finally got there, woke him and he was on his way to get some clothes while all the time stating how he was going to tear my pussy up when we get back to my apartment. I went along with it, being the weak thing that I am, just trying not to start no shit with him. I knew that by the time I got home his ass would be in drunken stupor too high to get his dick hard.
Fifteen minutes later he was back from getting clothes and ready to argue. Arguing is something I can't stand and try my best to avoid. He was trying to get me to spend the night and as usual I refused. Once again, we started to argue why. Here is my reasoning:
1. This is not his apartment. His "roommate" is someone he has fucked in the past. He tried to hide this fact from me but I just had that feeling that he and that guy had fucked before. I just knew it. He finally admitted it two months into our relationship. I don't feel comfortable stepping foot into someones apartment that he dicked down in the past. I don't care how long ago that was.
2. Its in Arlington, Virginia. I stay in Maryland. My rotation site is in Maryland. What sense does it make to fight traffic in Virginia, then DC to get to my apartment to change clothes and then fight traffic again on the beltway to go to my rotation which I am suppose to be at by 7:30AM? It would take 2 to 2 and a half hours to do all that. O hell naw!!!
As we were driving he continued to argue until I finally met my breaking point. "Do you wanna go back, I asked?" "Yeah, take me back, he screamed." I tried my best to kill us both after that statement. I turned the radio up as loud as it would go and made the hardest U-turn I could. I floored the accelerator on my car, ran traffic lights, swerved across lanes. Tires screeched, and breaks squealed as I brought my car to a hard stop back in front of the apartment building we had just left. I tried to throw his ass out of the windshield when I stompped the brakes. He got out, threw a bottle of water at me which I picked up and hit his ass in the back. He slammed my door and I screeched off again. I was so upset.
Here I was. I had stopped watching a show to go help him. I got dressed. I drove all the way into the District. I picked him up. I drove him to Virginia to get HIS stuff. It was all done to please him. What did I get? An $8 drink that I got grief over, a couple of minutes conversation with some drag queens I knew, an increase in blood pressure and a sleepless night.
I've got a lifetime of failed relationships. From my relationships with both my parents which seem to be perpetually at a breaking point to my so called love life. I am so tired of this shit. I really wanna move out of this area and start over. My life at some point has to get better. It seems like I am always picking my face up out of the mud.
Maybe I should get a dog?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Geriatrics
Hello All!!!! I am on my last and final rotation. YEEEYYYYYY!!!! I took a Pre-Naplex test last Friday and did very well. I couldn't believe it. I did so well I am thinking about framing the score.
I am on a Geriatrics rotation. I spend my time in the Emergency Department interviewing people over the age of 65 about what medications they are taking. Most don't know so this can be a difficult task. Hell, they barely know what they are using them for. I'm not doing anything difficult. I'm basically sitting on my ass all day looking at profiles checking for interactions, making sure the doses are appropriate, etc.
But I get at least one hilarious case every day. Hospital pharmacist have all the fun. They get the juicy details on every patient and like all queens I am absolutely loving it. All of the gossip, and details keeps me coming back.
This one man in his 80s came in with a black eye. His ass fell and some kind of way hit his face on a table according to his wife. He is very talkative and active but does not know how he got a black eye or that he even has a black eye. Everytime I ask how did you get a black eye he says, "What black eye?" You would initially think he is trying to be funny but he really has no idea that he has a black eye. 15minutes later I had the same conversation with him. I picked at him for about 2 hours. He made my day!!!!
The next lady was acutally admitted to the hospital. She was complaining of jaw pain and inability to eat. She had lost a significant amount of weight. She had been worked up by her primary medical doctor, a dentist, and HEENT (Head, eyes, ears, nose, throat). All results came back normal so we really don't know whats wrong with her. In the middle of the night she called home and told her family that she is home from the hospital and is outside waiting to be let in the house. When I read this I laughed my ass off. I had read about this in her medical profile. Thank God, I wasn't in front of her family or my preceptor because I probably would have burst out laughing then too.
Although my time spent with the elderly is for education purposes, they have been fun, enlightning and scary all at the same time. My beloved grandmother just turned 73 and I don't know what I would do if she developed dementia or Alzheimer's or as she calls it "All Timers". My great grandmother (my grandfather's mother) lived to be 94 and knew everything and everyone. My grandmother's stepmother is still alive and at 96 and still knows everyone. She even told me how old I was the last time I saw her. My father's mother just turned 80 and unfortunantely is mentally no longer there. Yes, she still looks like the grandmother I had as a child but has no idea that I am her grandchild or even kin to her. She doesn't even speak like she did when I was growing up. To me its just someone who looks like my grandmother. It hurts to see her like that.
Anyway, life carries on. What can I do? I have 2 weeks and 3 days left before I will finish and I am going to enjoy my last rotation. These old timers keep me rolling!!
I've got to make plans for a celebration!!!!!
I am on a Geriatrics rotation. I spend my time in the Emergency Department interviewing people over the age of 65 about what medications they are taking. Most don't know so this can be a difficult task. Hell, they barely know what they are using them for. I'm not doing anything difficult. I'm basically sitting on my ass all day looking at profiles checking for interactions, making sure the doses are appropriate, etc.
But I get at least one hilarious case every day. Hospital pharmacist have all the fun. They get the juicy details on every patient and like all queens I am absolutely loving it. All of the gossip, and details keeps me coming back.
This one man in his 80s came in with a black eye. His ass fell and some kind of way hit his face on a table according to his wife. He is very talkative and active but does not know how he got a black eye or that he even has a black eye. Everytime I ask how did you get a black eye he says, "What black eye?" You would initially think he is trying to be funny but he really has no idea that he has a black eye. 15minutes later I had the same conversation with him. I picked at him for about 2 hours. He made my day!!!!
The next lady was acutally admitted to the hospital. She was complaining of jaw pain and inability to eat. She had lost a significant amount of weight. She had been worked up by her primary medical doctor, a dentist, and HEENT (Head, eyes, ears, nose, throat). All results came back normal so we really don't know whats wrong with her. In the middle of the night she called home and told her family that she is home from the hospital and is outside waiting to be let in the house. When I read this I laughed my ass off. I had read about this in her medical profile. Thank God, I wasn't in front of her family or my preceptor because I probably would have burst out laughing then too.
Although my time spent with the elderly is for education purposes, they have been fun, enlightning and scary all at the same time. My beloved grandmother just turned 73 and I don't know what I would do if she developed dementia or Alzheimer's or as she calls it "All Timers". My great grandmother (my grandfather's mother) lived to be 94 and knew everything and everyone. My grandmother's stepmother is still alive and at 96 and still knows everyone. She even told me how old I was the last time I saw her. My father's mother just turned 80 and unfortunantely is mentally no longer there. Yes, she still looks like the grandmother I had as a child but has no idea that I am her grandchild or even kin to her. She doesn't even speak like she did when I was growing up. To me its just someone who looks like my grandmother. It hurts to see her like that.
Anyway, life carries on. What can I do? I have 2 weeks and 3 days left before I will finish and I am going to enjoy my last rotation. These old timers keep me rolling!!
I've got to make plans for a celebration!!!!!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Career Fair Blues
Good Morning All!!
I woke up this morning still mad about last Friday. The School of Pharmacy's annual career fair was held last Friday. I had been excited about this day. I felt that I would be able to pick out a job that fit my personality and needs. I soon found out that I was fooling no one but myself. I have been mad every since and figured writing about it would help me forget about it.
Less than 10 years ago, signing bonuses of $5,000 up to $30,000 were being offered to new pharmacy school graduates. There was a national shortage of pharmacists and the good white people were scrambling around to hire pharmacists at whatever cost. Some places were offering signing bonuses, paid relocation expenses, and BMW's. Not one damn company at this career fair offered any of that shit. Also, I found out that the national shortage that once was occurring was now only in certain parts of the country. Which parts do you ask? Southern Deleware, West Virginia, Kansas, Indian reservations in North Dakota, New Mexico, Arizona, and the state of Alaska. Do you know any black people in these damned places?? The only state with even a minor prospect of me possibly moving to where there is still a critical need for pharmacists is California. The only problem, the California board exams are hell to pass. California is also a state where making $100,000 a year will still put me in the same type of apartment I am living in now. Those six figures won't go all that far in California or New York. And I have worked too damn hard to not be able to show growth.
I was looking for a hospital job with retail as a second job, part time or on an as needed basis. Washington Adventist Hospital was the hospital I was hoping for but the lady told me point blank that they were not hiring new graduates. The next thing that went through my mind is "Well, what the fuck are you doing here?" I took her card and promised to email here my resume to "keep on file." Bullshit. Why hospitals? I enjoy looking at medical profiles and deciding if this is the best medication for a particular patient. I also get a chance to remove unnessesary medications. The thing that I am really feeling about a hospital job is being able to take my time to reveiw a profile, have my input accepted, and a lunch break. In retail pharmacies, its all about the numbers. Its about how many prescriptions can you put out in an hour, how much chaos can you deal with in a day. Have you been in a retail pharmacy (CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, etc.)? How long did you have to wait. I've worked in retail pharmacies for 8 years. I have seen up to 3 hour waits. What sense does that make? Anyway. I signed up for "preliminary" interviews with six companies.
1. Cardinal Health. The only thing I know about Cardinal Health is that they tend to be a backup system of distributing drugs to companies whose primary warehouse is out of the needed medication. Every retail company I've worked for gets its medications from Cardinal when their warehouse is out. I had no idea they hired pharmacists. The thing that drew me to Cardinal is that it is not a retail nor a hospital pharmacy. It has a little of both. And is self-sufficient. Unfortunanelty it is not hiring in this area or anywhere I plan on moving to. I interviewed with Marcus, who I knew from school. He is a 2008 Howard Grad and came up form Newport News, Virginia where he is doing a residency with Cardinal. It wasn't an interview at all. We talked about clubs here in DC and Virginia. I still think Cardinal is a good place to possibly work for. Too bad Marcus didn't seem to care at all. I thought he would have been a good contact person to help me get a job but I soon saw right through that.
2. Wal-Mart. I acutally owe this comapany my start in Pharmacy. I got my very first job ever with this company. I started in the Tire-Lube Express making $7.00/hour. I thought I was the shit. I made more money per hour than all my aunts and uncles except one uncle. I was making more money than both my parents and I was only 18 at the time. I worked tire-lube for about 2 months, then I was a front end cashier for 2years and finally spent my last year there in the pharmacy. I started in the pharmacy as a technician but I soon found that being black, male, educated (I was persuing my B.S. in Biology from Alabama A&M at that time), and in a pharmacy didn't sit well with north Alabama white people. My pharmacy manager refused to write me a recommendation to get into pharmacy school and after that promptly made me a floor associate. I worked hard and stayed because I needed that job at that time. I had a car payment and rent. I vowed I would never be in that situation again and through education, I would have my way. But, the good lord sent a perky white girl my way who had just graduated from pharmacy school. This girl didn't know me and had only worked with me once but she wrote me a glowing recommendation and got one of her friends who had never laid eyes on me to do the same.
I didn't like my interview. The white lady who I sat down with was cold and impersonal. She was just going throught the motions with me. I could tell that she was there just to say that Wal-Mart is open to all people regardless of color, creed, etc. Wal-Mart has good values and is an excellent company to work for but that bitch I sat with is no good. I could see my self telling that bitch to lick my balls after 3 months of my hiring. I don't like fake people and she was definintely fake. She asked the craziest questions and I really had to think on my feet to show this bitch that I am not the one honeey! (2 snaps and a twirl on her ass!!)
3. Harris Teeter. Harris Teeter is a new company. Its an upscale grocery chain in this area that is much like Whole Foods but with a pharmacy. I sat with a sister who immediately put me at ease. We started out by just chatting and having a couple of snicker-mini's that she brought. We went thought what the company was looking for and it was a good interview. The only thing I didn't like is that they have some stores where the pharmacist will be working alone. True that they only fill about 60-90 scripts a day but I can't imagine being alone in a pharmacy. I will be back there laid out sleep! They do pay well and is less busy which is a big plus for me.
4. Rite Aid. I have worked for Rite Aid before. I worked for them for about 2 months back in 2004. I made a long lasting friendship with Denise while working for them. It wasn't a busy place and was fun. I actually looked forward to going to work. That interview went very well and I see that it is a company that is truly on the move. It is looking to start up programs that will really help people. I was pleased with my experience with them and if they offer me a posistion I can see myself taking it.
5. Shoppers. Shoppers is another grocery store chain. I have been in some of them and they look straight out of the 70s. But, the people they had there could sell you lint out of your own pocket. They talked a good talk and like Rite Aid, they are a company on the move with Diabetes Education, Medication Therapy Management Services, things that clinical pharmaicsts do but in a retail setting. If they offer me a job, then like Rite Aid I'm going to take it.
6. Kaiser. O my God, I absolutely hate them! They are a slap in the face to every PharmD. I was told that since I am getting a DOCTOR of Pharmacy degree that I will the relegated to only checking and passing out prescriptions. The queen came out of me with all her claws exposed. O no ma'am! I pay too much money and have too much knowledge to just pass out prescriptions. They tried to tell me that clinical pharmacists will be the ones to manage patient profiles as if I don't have the knowledge to do that. They got me mixed up with registered pharmacists. PharmD's are very capable of performing those clinical duties. Do they not know that here at Howard University we are taught to be clinicians. It took all I had to not slap all three of the bitches sitting in front of me. They are the reason I woke up mad this morning. Mothafucka's!!!!!
As a side note. You all know I currently work for CVS and have been for almost 6 years now. They were throwing me much shade. I asked the intern coordinator for more hours next month and she told me to talk to the pharmacy manager who is a complete asshole. I have never had to do that in all my time with this company. I was truly taken aback!! She had been cool with me but is now on my shit list. I didn't interview with them and that was on purpose. That company has worked the shit out of me with no regards for its employees. I watched the pharmacist at my store work 12 and 14 hour shifts. Technician help is spotty. CVS is at the bottom of list of places to work, so is Walgreen's. They expect people to be robots.
So, it looks like my options are mainly retail. I mean I gotta have a job. Rite Aid and Shopper's are retail but with a more clinical decision making end which is what I would like. Shoppers is even offering to pay me back my board fees when I pass. I can't beat that. That fact puts them at the top of list of future prospects.
Yall pray for me. I got rent due in February and will need a job really towards the end of next month just to keep my head above water.
In the famous words of Forrest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." :)
I woke up this morning still mad about last Friday. The School of Pharmacy's annual career fair was held last Friday. I had been excited about this day. I felt that I would be able to pick out a job that fit my personality and needs. I soon found out that I was fooling no one but myself. I have been mad every since and figured writing about it would help me forget about it.
Less than 10 years ago, signing bonuses of $5,000 up to $30,000 were being offered to new pharmacy school graduates. There was a national shortage of pharmacists and the good white people were scrambling around to hire pharmacists at whatever cost. Some places were offering signing bonuses, paid relocation expenses, and BMW's. Not one damn company at this career fair offered any of that shit. Also, I found out that the national shortage that once was occurring was now only in certain parts of the country. Which parts do you ask? Southern Deleware, West Virginia, Kansas, Indian reservations in North Dakota, New Mexico, Arizona, and the state of Alaska. Do you know any black people in these damned places?? The only state with even a minor prospect of me possibly moving to where there is still a critical need for pharmacists is California. The only problem, the California board exams are hell to pass. California is also a state where making $100,000 a year will still put me in the same type of apartment I am living in now. Those six figures won't go all that far in California or New York. And I have worked too damn hard to not be able to show growth.
I was looking for a hospital job with retail as a second job, part time or on an as needed basis. Washington Adventist Hospital was the hospital I was hoping for but the lady told me point blank that they were not hiring new graduates. The next thing that went through my mind is "Well, what the fuck are you doing here?" I took her card and promised to email here my resume to "keep on file." Bullshit. Why hospitals? I enjoy looking at medical profiles and deciding if this is the best medication for a particular patient. I also get a chance to remove unnessesary medications. The thing that I am really feeling about a hospital job is being able to take my time to reveiw a profile, have my input accepted, and a lunch break. In retail pharmacies, its all about the numbers. Its about how many prescriptions can you put out in an hour, how much chaos can you deal with in a day. Have you been in a retail pharmacy (CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, etc.)? How long did you have to wait. I've worked in retail pharmacies for 8 years. I have seen up to 3 hour waits. What sense does that make? Anyway. I signed up for "preliminary" interviews with six companies.
1. Cardinal Health. The only thing I know about Cardinal Health is that they tend to be a backup system of distributing drugs to companies whose primary warehouse is out of the needed medication. Every retail company I've worked for gets its medications from Cardinal when their warehouse is out. I had no idea they hired pharmacists. The thing that drew me to Cardinal is that it is not a retail nor a hospital pharmacy. It has a little of both. And is self-sufficient. Unfortunanelty it is not hiring in this area or anywhere I plan on moving to. I interviewed with Marcus, who I knew from school. He is a 2008 Howard Grad and came up form Newport News, Virginia where he is doing a residency with Cardinal. It wasn't an interview at all. We talked about clubs here in DC and Virginia. I still think Cardinal is a good place to possibly work for. Too bad Marcus didn't seem to care at all. I thought he would have been a good contact person to help me get a job but I soon saw right through that.
2. Wal-Mart. I acutally owe this comapany my start in Pharmacy. I got my very first job ever with this company. I started in the Tire-Lube Express making $7.00/hour. I thought I was the shit. I made more money per hour than all my aunts and uncles except one uncle. I was making more money than both my parents and I was only 18 at the time. I worked tire-lube for about 2 months, then I was a front end cashier for 2years and finally spent my last year there in the pharmacy. I started in the pharmacy as a technician but I soon found that being black, male, educated (I was persuing my B.S. in Biology from Alabama A&M at that time), and in a pharmacy didn't sit well with north Alabama white people. My pharmacy manager refused to write me a recommendation to get into pharmacy school and after that promptly made me a floor associate. I worked hard and stayed because I needed that job at that time. I had a car payment and rent. I vowed I would never be in that situation again and through education, I would have my way. But, the good lord sent a perky white girl my way who had just graduated from pharmacy school. This girl didn't know me and had only worked with me once but she wrote me a glowing recommendation and got one of her friends who had never laid eyes on me to do the same.
I didn't like my interview. The white lady who I sat down with was cold and impersonal. She was just going throught the motions with me. I could tell that she was there just to say that Wal-Mart is open to all people regardless of color, creed, etc. Wal-Mart has good values and is an excellent company to work for but that bitch I sat with is no good. I could see my self telling that bitch to lick my balls after 3 months of my hiring. I don't like fake people and she was definintely fake. She asked the craziest questions and I really had to think on my feet to show this bitch that I am not the one honeey! (2 snaps and a twirl on her ass!!)
3. Harris Teeter. Harris Teeter is a new company. Its an upscale grocery chain in this area that is much like Whole Foods but with a pharmacy. I sat with a sister who immediately put me at ease. We started out by just chatting and having a couple of snicker-mini's that she brought. We went thought what the company was looking for and it was a good interview. The only thing I didn't like is that they have some stores where the pharmacist will be working alone. True that they only fill about 60-90 scripts a day but I can't imagine being alone in a pharmacy. I will be back there laid out sleep! They do pay well and is less busy which is a big plus for me.
4. Rite Aid. I have worked for Rite Aid before. I worked for them for about 2 months back in 2004. I made a long lasting friendship with Denise while working for them. It wasn't a busy place and was fun. I actually looked forward to going to work. That interview went very well and I see that it is a company that is truly on the move. It is looking to start up programs that will really help people. I was pleased with my experience with them and if they offer me a posistion I can see myself taking it.
5. Shoppers. Shoppers is another grocery store chain. I have been in some of them and they look straight out of the 70s. But, the people they had there could sell you lint out of your own pocket. They talked a good talk and like Rite Aid, they are a company on the move with Diabetes Education, Medication Therapy Management Services, things that clinical pharmaicsts do but in a retail setting. If they offer me a job, then like Rite Aid I'm going to take it.
6. Kaiser. O my God, I absolutely hate them! They are a slap in the face to every PharmD. I was told that since I am getting a DOCTOR of Pharmacy degree that I will the relegated to only checking and passing out prescriptions. The queen came out of me with all her claws exposed. O no ma'am! I pay too much money and have too much knowledge to just pass out prescriptions. They tried to tell me that clinical pharmacists will be the ones to manage patient profiles as if I don't have the knowledge to do that. They got me mixed up with registered pharmacists. PharmD's are very capable of performing those clinical duties. Do they not know that here at Howard University we are taught to be clinicians. It took all I had to not slap all three of the bitches sitting in front of me. They are the reason I woke up mad this morning. Mothafucka's!!!!!
As a side note. You all know I currently work for CVS and have been for almost 6 years now. They were throwing me much shade. I asked the intern coordinator for more hours next month and she told me to talk to the pharmacy manager who is a complete asshole. I have never had to do that in all my time with this company. I was truly taken aback!! She had been cool with me but is now on my shit list. I didn't interview with them and that was on purpose. That company has worked the shit out of me with no regards for its employees. I watched the pharmacist at my store work 12 and 14 hour shifts. Technician help is spotty. CVS is at the bottom of list of places to work, so is Walgreen's. They expect people to be robots.
So, it looks like my options are mainly retail. I mean I gotta have a job. Rite Aid and Shopper's are retail but with a more clinical decision making end which is what I would like. Shoppers is even offering to pay me back my board fees when I pass. I can't beat that. That fact puts them at the top of list of future prospects.
Yall pray for me. I got rent due in February and will need a job really towards the end of next month just to keep my head above water.
In the famous words of Forrest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." :)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Drag Queen Chaser
Hello Everyone,
I have given up on trying to catch up on these fucking posts. I just can't seem to find time these days. Anyway, for the dirt.
I do drag.
Big Shock huh? Anway, there is this dude name Chris. Kinda cute in a dirty boy type way. Stands about 6'2", 29 years old. I've seen him out and about at all the parties for some time now. I first met him when wet was still open. O my God, I miss that club so much. I partied my ass off in there faithfully every Tuesday night. I got his number, called him a couple of times. He never called me back and never knew who I was when I called. So that eventually dissolved. Over the years I've been told he is packing 10 inches solid. That got my attention and perked my interest in him over the years.
Last September, I won an amateur contest over at Omega and instantly got 2 stalkers, Chris and some weird white man who keeps the drinks flowing whenever we see each other. Now all of a sudden, Chris wants to get with me. Last night I was back at Omega to catch a show and he was there. As he was getting his fuck toy a drink he saw me (out of drag of course) and even out of drag he struck up a conversation. Now he remember's me (sort of). I showed him a picture of me in drag and he was like don't show me that you'll get my dick hard. He proceeds to tell me how he is so into drag queens and how he wants to fuck me in drag. This muthafucka has no idea how much work it takes to get into drag. And like every other queen, we try to make it as perfect as possible. I told him that would be alot of work. He says just wear the wig and lipstick. So, I was thinking with my pussy and got his digits. I promised to give him a call on Tuesday where I was suppose to cook him a "soul food dinner" and give him some pussy. He tried to come home with me Monday night but I wasn't having that.
I talked to my drag queen friend, Mercedes, who promptly told me to stay away from him. He hits on every queen. I watched with my own eyes but kept thinking about his 10 inches. I caught the rest of the show. Some damn queen vogued her ass off to Madonna's Vogue. And she was a medium sized black girl. To do that song is a fucking feat but to do it well is absolutely amazing. She got the bulk of my coins that night. Jessica Spalding was absolutely amazing as usual. Tallulah hosted and she is always hilarious unlike Tony Nelson who gets off on insulting the audience. The legendary Arcadia Alexander was there tearing up Anita Baker as usual. My good personal friend Tyria Iman performed giving cunt to the fullest. The legendary Sofia Bouvier Carrington was there out of drag. She is amazing in and out of drag. My good good friend Sebastian showed up and we key-keeyed as usual.
As for this Chris guy. I do want to hook up with him. But really, I just wanna see his dick. I can't imagine myself taking 10 inches. Maybe I'll just let him put the head in?? But before I left Omega I was turned off completely by him. He soon started to disgust me. I watched the show and got into it but sort of watched him out of the corner of my eye. I watched as he openly flirted with every drag queen who gave him the time of day. I saw that he was really after Tyria Iman. And when he wasn't lusting after one of the queens he was busy feeling on his fuck toy, holding his hand, planting little kisses on this god awful ape looking muthafucka. I could have thrown up. So, I was sitting with my good friend Mercedes. She went to the bathroom and when she came back, she said, "Girl, he just tried to get my number again. I gave him a fake one." I was so fucking over it.
But, I still wanna see his dick. I didn't call him and don't plan on it. Too bad he can't be faithful and is just a player. But at least he openly does it so I can't blame no one but myself if I fall for it and get hurt.
For those of you in the DC area, I am performing Monday, November 9th. Show starts at 10:30. Come out and support your girl, Octavia K. Blue (me). See you there!!!
I have given up on trying to catch up on these fucking posts. I just can't seem to find time these days. Anyway, for the dirt.
I do drag.
Big Shock huh? Anway, there is this dude name Chris. Kinda cute in a dirty boy type way. Stands about 6'2", 29 years old. I've seen him out and about at all the parties for some time now. I first met him when wet was still open. O my God, I miss that club so much. I partied my ass off in there faithfully every Tuesday night. I got his number, called him a couple of times. He never called me back and never knew who I was when I called. So that eventually dissolved. Over the years I've been told he is packing 10 inches solid. That got my attention and perked my interest in him over the years.
Last September, I won an amateur contest over at Omega and instantly got 2 stalkers, Chris and some weird white man who keeps the drinks flowing whenever we see each other. Now all of a sudden, Chris wants to get with me. Last night I was back at Omega to catch a show and he was there. As he was getting his fuck toy a drink he saw me (out of drag of course) and even out of drag he struck up a conversation. Now he remember's me (sort of). I showed him a picture of me in drag and he was like don't show me that you'll get my dick hard. He proceeds to tell me how he is so into drag queens and how he wants to fuck me in drag. This muthafucka has no idea how much work it takes to get into drag. And like every other queen, we try to make it as perfect as possible. I told him that would be alot of work. He says just wear the wig and lipstick. So, I was thinking with my pussy and got his digits. I promised to give him a call on Tuesday where I was suppose to cook him a "soul food dinner" and give him some pussy. He tried to come home with me Monday night but I wasn't having that.
I talked to my drag queen friend, Mercedes, who promptly told me to stay away from him. He hits on every queen. I watched with my own eyes but kept thinking about his 10 inches. I caught the rest of the show. Some damn queen vogued her ass off to Madonna's Vogue. And she was a medium sized black girl. To do that song is a fucking feat but to do it well is absolutely amazing. She got the bulk of my coins that night. Jessica Spalding was absolutely amazing as usual. Tallulah hosted and she is always hilarious unlike Tony Nelson who gets off on insulting the audience. The legendary Arcadia Alexander was there tearing up Anita Baker as usual. My good personal friend Tyria Iman performed giving cunt to the fullest. The legendary Sofia Bouvier Carrington was there out of drag. She is amazing in and out of drag. My good good friend Sebastian showed up and we key-keeyed as usual.
As for this Chris guy. I do want to hook up with him. But really, I just wanna see his dick. I can't imagine myself taking 10 inches. Maybe I'll just let him put the head in?? But before I left Omega I was turned off completely by him. He soon started to disgust me. I watched the show and got into it but sort of watched him out of the corner of my eye. I watched as he openly flirted with every drag queen who gave him the time of day. I saw that he was really after Tyria Iman. And when he wasn't lusting after one of the queens he was busy feeling on his fuck toy, holding his hand, planting little kisses on this god awful ape looking muthafucka. I could have thrown up. So, I was sitting with my good friend Mercedes. She went to the bathroom and when she came back, she said, "Girl, he just tried to get my number again. I gave him a fake one." I was so fucking over it.
But, I still wanna see his dick. I didn't call him and don't plan on it. Too bad he can't be faithful and is just a player. But at least he openly does it so I can't blame no one but myself if I fall for it and get hurt.
For those of you in the DC area, I am performing Monday, November 9th. Show starts at 10:30. Come out and support your girl, Octavia K. Blue (me). See you there!!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Damned if I do.........
Today is Tuesday, September 29th, 2009. I have exactly 66 days before I will spend my last day as a Howard University student. Its been hell.
It is cold here in Maryland. It was 57 degrees when I stepped out of my house this morning and according to the weather center it is now 61. I've never been a fan of cold weather. I got to get the hell out of here.
Anyway, I started my 7th rotation today and it didn't start without drama as usual. One of the requirements regarding rotations is to contact each location at least 2 weeks in advance of our upcoming arrival. I feel like thats too long of a gap so I usually contact mines a week in advance. Last Monday, like clockwork, I call Holy Cross Hospital to inform them that I will be joining them on the 28th of September. I get an answering service and leave a message asking to have my call returned. In addition to that call, I emailed my preceptor saying that I am coming, asking for driving directions, parking instructions and so forth. By the end of that day I have no answer on either end, not through the phone or email. I was still a student on a critical care rotation at Inova Farifax Hospital so Tuesday, and Wednesday I let go by due to being busy as hell. I gave Holy Cross another call on Thursday, and Friday. No answer. I even informed the student coordinator at Howard of my delima but got no sympathy from him.
Monday rolls around and I decide to just take an extra day to myself. I've been pretty stressed and needed the extra rest just to keep it together. Around 1PM on Monday I give Holy Cross another call and magically someone answers the call. I've been calling this same number for a week with no return. I try to tell the voice on the other end how I've been trying to contact them but they hurridely ask what do I need. I explain that I need driving directions and any other helpful instruction, they tell me to check the website and show up on Tuesday at 9am. I say ok and without even a goodbye they hang up. (If you can imagine Madea looking at the phone going I know this bitch didn't just hang up on me, that would be the look and attitude that showed on my face at that moment.)
I showed up Tuesday around 9:20. (You know I can't be on time.) I got no greeting. The first thing said to me is, "Are you the student?" I say "Yes". They say, "Why didn't you show up yesterday?" I say because I called on last Monday to let you all know I was coming and sent an email saying the same and got no return call. I called on Thursday and Friday and still didn't get a call back. I explained that I didn't feel like I should just show up without speaking to someone first. She says, "Well, you gotta take that up with Lola." The only thing that went through my mind is can I at least get a hello? So, I am very intriged of who this LOLA person is.
So the bitch comes out of her office, some African bitch. I don't know why those Africans think they are so much better than those of us who were born and raised here. First of all, we don't have to AMERICANIZE our names. This ho's name is Kike S. Gbadamosi. Where the fuck did Lola come from? I hope that shit is not a nick name. Ugly bitch. So, she starts the conversation off just as rudely as the bitch before her asking why didn't I show up yesterday. I give her the same spill about emails and phone calls because that is what happened. She tells me that is unacceptable and that other students showed up. I ask if she got any of my phone messages. This is were the bitch goes off saying it is my responsibilty to show up on time and if I don't like it then I should leave and contact my school. She pushed the wrong fucking button and I said that is exactly what I will do. She says why don't you do that now. I see then that this bitch is trying to put me out. O hell naw! I inform her that I will be starting and finishing this rotation but will inform the school. She starts to explain the requirements and I completely ignore her taking my time to concentrate on not beating this bitch's ass.
I go back out to her rude secretary who prints some forms for me to complete, tells me to go to the break room and she will be back to get me in 20 minutes. That 20 minutes turns into 2 hours. I complain to all who enter the breakroom. I've never been someone to hold my peace. If it is wrong I will say something. Some pharmacist that was hired three weeks ago takes pity on me and goes out to get the ball rolling. I finally get an ID and then go to lunch. I come back and am ignored for another half hour. The secretary ho ask if I need something. I ask if there are any plans for me today or do I get to meet my actual preceptor? I had had enough. I get instructions to where my preceptor is and I am out of there.
My preceptor is actually a sweetheart. She's ugly, but a sweetheart.A great candidate for a fag hag. She is Howard Grad and started out by asking me to talk about myself. I can go on and on about that! I explain which rotations I've had. I usually lie about that but she made me feel so comfortable I explained which I had, which I liked and disliked and why. I told her about my day. She told me to brush that off my shoulder because God has bigger plans for me. She shows me around, gives me a little project and says she will see me in the morning at 7:30. I call the school to tell them about my day but again they show no concern. I am going to file a grievance. They don't know who they fucking with yet?
In regards to my preceptor, for her, I just might show up on time. Those other two bitches, they better watch their backs!
It is cold here in Maryland. It was 57 degrees when I stepped out of my house this morning and according to the weather center it is now 61. I've never been a fan of cold weather. I got to get the hell out of here.
Anyway, I started my 7th rotation today and it didn't start without drama as usual. One of the requirements regarding rotations is to contact each location at least 2 weeks in advance of our upcoming arrival. I feel like thats too long of a gap so I usually contact mines a week in advance. Last Monday, like clockwork, I call Holy Cross Hospital to inform them that I will be joining them on the 28th of September. I get an answering service and leave a message asking to have my call returned. In addition to that call, I emailed my preceptor saying that I am coming, asking for driving directions, parking instructions and so forth. By the end of that day I have no answer on either end, not through the phone or email. I was still a student on a critical care rotation at Inova Farifax Hospital so Tuesday, and Wednesday I let go by due to being busy as hell. I gave Holy Cross another call on Thursday, and Friday. No answer. I even informed the student coordinator at Howard of my delima but got no sympathy from him.
Monday rolls around and I decide to just take an extra day to myself. I've been pretty stressed and needed the extra rest just to keep it together. Around 1PM on Monday I give Holy Cross another call and magically someone answers the call. I've been calling this same number for a week with no return. I try to tell the voice on the other end how I've been trying to contact them but they hurridely ask what do I need. I explain that I need driving directions and any other helpful instruction, they tell me to check the website and show up on Tuesday at 9am. I say ok and without even a goodbye they hang up. (If you can imagine Madea looking at the phone going I know this bitch didn't just hang up on me, that would be the look and attitude that showed on my face at that moment.)
I showed up Tuesday around 9:20. (You know I can't be on time.) I got no greeting. The first thing said to me is, "Are you the student?" I say "Yes". They say, "Why didn't you show up yesterday?" I say because I called on last Monday to let you all know I was coming and sent an email saying the same and got no return call. I called on Thursday and Friday and still didn't get a call back. I explained that I didn't feel like I should just show up without speaking to someone first. She says, "Well, you gotta take that up with Lola." The only thing that went through my mind is can I at least get a hello? So, I am very intriged of who this LOLA person is.
So the bitch comes out of her office, some African bitch. I don't know why those Africans think they are so much better than those of us who were born and raised here. First of all, we don't have to AMERICANIZE our names. This ho's name is Kike S. Gbadamosi. Where the fuck did Lola come from? I hope that shit is not a nick name. Ugly bitch. So, she starts the conversation off just as rudely as the bitch before her asking why didn't I show up yesterday. I give her the same spill about emails and phone calls because that is what happened. She tells me that is unacceptable and that other students showed up. I ask if she got any of my phone messages. This is were the bitch goes off saying it is my responsibilty to show up on time and if I don't like it then I should leave and contact my school. She pushed the wrong fucking button and I said that is exactly what I will do. She says why don't you do that now. I see then that this bitch is trying to put me out. O hell naw! I inform her that I will be starting and finishing this rotation but will inform the school. She starts to explain the requirements and I completely ignore her taking my time to concentrate on not beating this bitch's ass.
I go back out to her rude secretary who prints some forms for me to complete, tells me to go to the break room and she will be back to get me in 20 minutes. That 20 minutes turns into 2 hours. I complain to all who enter the breakroom. I've never been someone to hold my peace. If it is wrong I will say something. Some pharmacist that was hired three weeks ago takes pity on me and goes out to get the ball rolling. I finally get an ID and then go to lunch. I come back and am ignored for another half hour. The secretary ho ask if I need something. I ask if there are any plans for me today or do I get to meet my actual preceptor? I had had enough. I get instructions to where my preceptor is and I am out of there.
My preceptor is actually a sweetheart. She's ugly, but a sweetheart.A great candidate for a fag hag. She is Howard Grad and started out by asking me to talk about myself. I can go on and on about that! I explain which rotations I've had. I usually lie about that but she made me feel so comfortable I explained which I had, which I liked and disliked and why. I told her about my day. She told me to brush that off my shoulder because God has bigger plans for me. She shows me around, gives me a little project and says she will see me in the morning at 7:30. I call the school to tell them about my day but again they show no concern. I am going to file a grievance. They don't know who they fucking with yet?
In regards to my preceptor, for her, I just might show up on time. Those other two bitches, they better watch their backs!
Friday, September 25, 2009
A mess!
Hello all. I have been one busy bitch. It has been one month and 8 days since my last post here and I have missed you so!!!!
Once again, I am having relationship problems. I think T and I are over. We haven't spoken in five days now. I guess now I am just waiting on him to come pick up his shit. Lets see if I can give you all a quick rundown of what happened.
I got sick and my mom came to take care of her baby. More on her later. T decided he would leave. I wanted him to stay and meet her, since he has basically been living here why leave now? But he told me out of respect for her he would leave and give her and me time to reconnect. I truly didn't want him to leave but he did. Mama Diamond said that my mother coming to visit was a blessing from above. She never liked him, said he was just using me. I've always been the kind of person who has to tire of situations instead of taking the advice of others, especially when the person giving out the advice is alone they damn self. No one has to like whats going on in my house but they must respect my decisions especially if they are not paying a damn bill up in here. After he left I went through two weeks of hell. It wasn't due to my mom being here, I was just so busy. I juggled work, school, and home and personal business. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I came home one day and my mom had packed T's clothes into a trash bag. I thought that was funny. He didn't of course. He looked so pitiful when I gave him that bag.
The week before my mom came I won a drag show and was booked to perform the following Monday. It was hell trying to buy things for the show and hide them from my mom. Thank God for Mama Diamond who allowed me to use her home. More on me and Drag later.
My critical care rotation kicked my ass too. I was in charge of the medications of patients in the intensive care unit, the sickest of the sick. Drunks, car accidents, motorcycle accidents, brain injuries, nursing home dumps, they all were there. My brain was truly picked but I did not loose one patient. Today was the last day of that rotation and I am truly thankful for that. That is a load off me. I know that I will never be a critical care pharmacist. Too much pressure and not enough time to think. Everything is stat! O hell naw!
CVS was hell as usual. They are sending out offer letters in about a week. It looks like I might have to take that offer for a little while. I really don't want too.
After I worked at CVS, T called me and asked me to come to Virginia to spend some time with him. Since my mother is here visiting I didn't think it was right to ask me to come to Virginia to see him. It wasn't like she was going to be here forever. I can see him anytime after she leaves. It was already Saturday evening after 6 and all I wanted to do was go home and lay my old tired ass down for sleep. So I told him I didn't feel like coming to see him. I was just too tired. I've never been one to beat around the bush with an opinion. I'm too old for that shit anyway. Then he throws this whole I'm hungry type of shit in the conversation. Even though I was tired as shit my brain kicked in. I said to myself, he only wants me to come out there so I can take him to get something to eat. So any thought on changing my mind went totally out of my car window. Then, I found out he had been off all day. I asked, "Why didn't you go out to get you something. There are plenty of restaurants in your area?" He got angry saying, "When have you ever known me to leave the house on my day off?" I said, "If you were hungry you would have gone to get you something instead of waiting on me." He got pissed which made me mad. I cut the conversation short. I was already under too much stress and don't need his shit too.
Since 2001 I've lived by a different motto. My favorite singer put out a song called "No More Drama." She performed that song on the Grammy's that year and it totally blew me away! I have lived by that motto every since. I can't do drama, conflicts, arguments, etc. So that is why I cut the conversation short. I will hangup on a bitch with the quickness. I ended up going to a barbecue my friends were giving and then took my ass home to my mama. The next night I get an angry drunken call asking if our relationship is over. I said it was on thin ice. He wanted an answer. He wanted to argue. I couldn't say what I truly wanted to say because my mom was here. He got me angry again and I cut it short again.
I do love him but I can't support him. Yes, relationships are suppose to be 50/50 but I am finding my self in an 80/20 situation with me providing housing, food, travel, laundry, etc. This is unfair to me. On my left arm, I have tattooed the Chinese symbols for love and happiness. I figured that if I tattooed that on my arm I'd have it forever. But will I ever have this in a physical form?
Once again, I am having relationship problems. I think T and I are over. We haven't spoken in five days now. I guess now I am just waiting on him to come pick up his shit. Lets see if I can give you all a quick rundown of what happened.
I got sick and my mom came to take care of her baby. More on her later. T decided he would leave. I wanted him to stay and meet her, since he has basically been living here why leave now? But he told me out of respect for her he would leave and give her and me time to reconnect. I truly didn't want him to leave but he did. Mama Diamond said that my mother coming to visit was a blessing from above. She never liked him, said he was just using me. I've always been the kind of person who has to tire of situations instead of taking the advice of others, especially when the person giving out the advice is alone they damn self. No one has to like whats going on in my house but they must respect my decisions especially if they are not paying a damn bill up in here. After he left I went through two weeks of hell. It wasn't due to my mom being here, I was just so busy. I juggled work, school, and home and personal business. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I came home one day and my mom had packed T's clothes into a trash bag. I thought that was funny. He didn't of course. He looked so pitiful when I gave him that bag.
The week before my mom came I won a drag show and was booked to perform the following Monday. It was hell trying to buy things for the show and hide them from my mom. Thank God for Mama Diamond who allowed me to use her home. More on me and Drag later.
My critical care rotation kicked my ass too. I was in charge of the medications of patients in the intensive care unit, the sickest of the sick. Drunks, car accidents, motorcycle accidents, brain injuries, nursing home dumps, they all were there. My brain was truly picked but I did not loose one patient. Today was the last day of that rotation and I am truly thankful for that. That is a load off me. I know that I will never be a critical care pharmacist. Too much pressure and not enough time to think. Everything is stat! O hell naw!
CVS was hell as usual. They are sending out offer letters in about a week. It looks like I might have to take that offer for a little while. I really don't want too.
After I worked at CVS, T called me and asked me to come to Virginia to spend some time with him. Since my mother is here visiting I didn't think it was right to ask me to come to Virginia to see him. It wasn't like she was going to be here forever. I can see him anytime after she leaves. It was already Saturday evening after 6 and all I wanted to do was go home and lay my old tired ass down for sleep. So I told him I didn't feel like coming to see him. I was just too tired. I've never been one to beat around the bush with an opinion. I'm too old for that shit anyway. Then he throws this whole I'm hungry type of shit in the conversation. Even though I was tired as shit my brain kicked in. I said to myself, he only wants me to come out there so I can take him to get something to eat. So any thought on changing my mind went totally out of my car window. Then, I found out he had been off all day. I asked, "Why didn't you go out to get you something. There are plenty of restaurants in your area?" He got angry saying, "When have you ever known me to leave the house on my day off?" I said, "If you were hungry you would have gone to get you something instead of waiting on me." He got pissed which made me mad. I cut the conversation short. I was already under too much stress and don't need his shit too.
Since 2001 I've lived by a different motto. My favorite singer put out a song called "No More Drama." She performed that song on the Grammy's that year and it totally blew me away! I have lived by that motto every since. I can't do drama, conflicts, arguments, etc. So that is why I cut the conversation short. I will hangup on a bitch with the quickness. I ended up going to a barbecue my friends were giving and then took my ass home to my mama. The next night I get an angry drunken call asking if our relationship is over. I said it was on thin ice. He wanted an answer. He wanted to argue. I couldn't say what I truly wanted to say because my mom was here. He got me angry again and I cut it short again.
I do love him but I can't support him. Yes, relationships are suppose to be 50/50 but I am finding my self in an 80/20 situation with me providing housing, food, travel, laundry, etc. This is unfair to me. On my left arm, I have tattooed the Chinese symbols for love and happiness. I figured that if I tattooed that on my arm I'd have it forever. But will I ever have this in a physical form?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Soul Day Spa
Hello All! Looks like I'm on a roll tonight! So, I have been sort of upset and depressed because I didn't get a chance to go home for a break. I really just wanted to get out of the DC area. I thought about spending some time at the the beach whether it was Rehoboth or Ocean City.
But as ghetto as I can be sometimes, I settled on a trip to Bowie. I have never been to the Bowie town center and I haven't been shopping in a while. I wanted to get a good massage, get my eyebrows shaped up and a facial. I just needed an all around pampering. My job stresses me the fuck out then I have to come home to this husband of mine and I never know if we will be arguing or cuddling up. His ass got mad cause I wanted to go shopping. It wasn't like I was spending his money. He was complaining because his storage bill was due and he thought I was going to pay it. What a fool! Anywayzzz
I decided I would give my own people my money. The Soul Day Spa is owned and operated by Americans of African decent. (I hate the term African-American. To me it means someone from Africa who came to America and applied for citizenship.) When I looked at the light-skinned thing at the counter I felt I would be in for a quick read. First, the bitch was filing her fingernails when I walked in. I said hello and asked for a description of their services. She hands me a flimsy piece of paper with the name of the service and the price. She must have taken me for a damn fool. I said well what is this Tahitian Body Polish. She said, its a massage service. I let out a little chuckle cause obviously she was throwing me shade and before I read her I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I asked what was the Algae Wrap. She said, its another massage service. I asked if she knew what description meant. She gave me a crazy look. I said excuse me sweetie but this piece of paper is not a description of your services. I whipped out my trusty iPhone and went onto their website and proceded to read to her a description of their services.
I finally got fed up with the bitch and said I would like the Tahitian Body Polish and an eyebrow waxing. She asked when would I like to make an appointment. I said NOW! She said they didn't have anything available until tommorrow at 12 noon. I said thank you and walked the fuck out.
I went on me a fierce shopping spree to ease my mind. American Eagle, The Gap, Foot Locker, Macy's. I enjoyed myself and then went clubbing later that night.
I can't stand ignorance. Aren't you all proud that I didn't curse her out??
But as ghetto as I can be sometimes, I settled on a trip to Bowie. I have never been to the Bowie town center and I haven't been shopping in a while. I wanted to get a good massage, get my eyebrows shaped up and a facial. I just needed an all around pampering. My job stresses me the fuck out then I have to come home to this husband of mine and I never know if we will be arguing or cuddling up. His ass got mad cause I wanted to go shopping. It wasn't like I was spending his money. He was complaining because his storage bill was due and he thought I was going to pay it. What a fool! Anywayzzz
I decided I would give my own people my money. The Soul Day Spa is owned and operated by Americans of African decent. (I hate the term African-American. To me it means someone from Africa who came to America and applied for citizenship.) When I looked at the light-skinned thing at the counter I felt I would be in for a quick read. First, the bitch was filing her fingernails when I walked in. I said hello and asked for a description of their services. She hands me a flimsy piece of paper with the name of the service and the price. She must have taken me for a damn fool. I said well what is this Tahitian Body Polish. She said, its a massage service. I let out a little chuckle cause obviously she was throwing me shade and before I read her I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I asked what was the Algae Wrap. She said, its another massage service. I asked if she knew what description meant. She gave me a crazy look. I said excuse me sweetie but this piece of paper is not a description of your services. I whipped out my trusty iPhone and went onto their website and proceded to read to her a description of their services.
I finally got fed up with the bitch and said I would like the Tahitian Body Polish and an eyebrow waxing. She asked when would I like to make an appointment. I said NOW! She said they didn't have anything available until tommorrow at 12 noon. I said thank you and walked the fuck out.
I went on me a fierce shopping spree to ease my mind. American Eagle, The Gap, Foot Locker, Macy's. I enjoyed myself and then went clubbing later that night.
I can't stand ignorance. Aren't you all proud that I didn't curse her out??
My CVS co-workers
Hello All!! Here it is another month. My last rotation ended July 24th and my next one begins August 24th. In that month's time I was intending on going home, relaxing and just recharging my body to get ready for another three months of bullshit. Here it is the 20th of August and as usual nothing turned out like I expected.
I have spent the last three weeks working. My pharmacy manager hired a new lead technician. No one seems to like her but it is a change that was needed. The technicians that are there act like their shit don't stink. Juan, the only nationally certified technician there needs to be fucked in the ass with no lube or condom. I don't like him at all and have told him on several occasions to fuck off. Last week I told him, in front of the pharmacy manager, to lick my fucking balls and he hasn't fucked with me since. He always got something smart to say out of his fucking mouth. I don't even remember what he said to me. What he doesn't seem to understand is that the only reason for his hire is to translate to the spanish speaking customers. Fucking bastard!
Lindi is my pharmacy manager. I met her in 2004 when she was a new Temple University school of pharmacy graduate. Unfortunantely she failed her pharmacy boards four times! Those damn test are expensive! I don't know how she did it. It took her over three years to pass her boards. But she perservered and is now the pharmacy manager. She bought her a Mercedes and just recently closed on a house. She showed me the $12,000 check she wrote for closing costs.
Nicole, the new lead technician is actually a pretty girl. I guess she has heard enough about me to stay out of my way. I see that the rest of the staff has educated her. My reputation has actually preceeded me which is a very good thing. I told her black ass the other day that as long as she is on my good sided everything will be fine. She thought I was going to help her move some boxes and I gave her my "not with this manicure look" and she proceeded to ask someone else.
Chris is the only piece of trade working with us. His ass has a certificate from Lincoln Tech as a electrician but works with us when he could be out making some real money. He is a little thick but keeps it sexy. I had to curse him out a couple of times over the years but he keeps it strictly professional with me. He has invited me to a couple of go go's but I haven't went. The only thing about him is he is so damn nosy. He is always trying to figure out what me and Ms. Ernestine are talking about. Ms. Ernestine speaks fluent faggot and we are always talking about the T, and the da ga ga, and trade bootz and the such. He asks what does it mean and she and I just burst out laughing and say you don't wanna know. He always looks confused.
Ms. Ernestine is my buddy. She is in her mid 50s and stands around 6'2". She is a no holds barred woman and I absolutely love her. When Noah's Arc was on she was my kee kee buddy on Thursdays. We would spend the day talking in codes about the show and just having a blast. We still talk in codes about RuPaul's drag race and she knows a little Pig Latin! I will fight for this lady and I know she would do the same for me. We always team up on the customers and our co-workers. We always seem to be within ear range of each other and if someone says something out of line we always give a "what was that" or my absolute favorite---what what??? Its like stopping all presses cause Ms. Ernestine will definitely let whoever have it! I came in one day as she was getting off and took one quick look at her face and knew she was pissed. I asked what was wrong cause I thought I was going to have to whoop some ass. She whipped off her white coat, slammed the cash register drawer and said in the loudest voice, "THE WHOLE FUCKING PHARMACY NEEDS AN ENEMA!!!" I know I can be over the top but that caught me like a left hook. As she marched off I could do nothing but watch and say----Now thats a bad bad bitch!!!
Thats my CVS family. You gotta love them to hate them.
I have spent the last three weeks working. My pharmacy manager hired a new lead technician. No one seems to like her but it is a change that was needed. The technicians that are there act like their shit don't stink. Juan, the only nationally certified technician there needs to be fucked in the ass with no lube or condom. I don't like him at all and have told him on several occasions to fuck off. Last week I told him, in front of the pharmacy manager, to lick my fucking balls and he hasn't fucked with me since. He always got something smart to say out of his fucking mouth. I don't even remember what he said to me. What he doesn't seem to understand is that the only reason for his hire is to translate to the spanish speaking customers. Fucking bastard!
Lindi is my pharmacy manager. I met her in 2004 when she was a new Temple University school of pharmacy graduate. Unfortunantely she failed her pharmacy boards four times! Those damn test are expensive! I don't know how she did it. It took her over three years to pass her boards. But she perservered and is now the pharmacy manager. She bought her a Mercedes and just recently closed on a house. She showed me the $12,000 check she wrote for closing costs.
Nicole, the new lead technician is actually a pretty girl. I guess she has heard enough about me to stay out of my way. I see that the rest of the staff has educated her. My reputation has actually preceeded me which is a very good thing. I told her black ass the other day that as long as she is on my good sided everything will be fine. She thought I was going to help her move some boxes and I gave her my "not with this manicure look" and she proceeded to ask someone else.
Chris is the only piece of trade working with us. His ass has a certificate from Lincoln Tech as a electrician but works with us when he could be out making some real money. He is a little thick but keeps it sexy. I had to curse him out a couple of times over the years but he keeps it strictly professional with me. He has invited me to a couple of go go's but I haven't went. The only thing about him is he is so damn nosy. He is always trying to figure out what me and Ms. Ernestine are talking about. Ms. Ernestine speaks fluent faggot and we are always talking about the T, and the da ga ga, and trade bootz and the such. He asks what does it mean and she and I just burst out laughing and say you don't wanna know. He always looks confused.
Ms. Ernestine is my buddy. She is in her mid 50s and stands around 6'2". She is a no holds barred woman and I absolutely love her. When Noah's Arc was on she was my kee kee buddy on Thursdays. We would spend the day talking in codes about the show and just having a blast. We still talk in codes about RuPaul's drag race and she knows a little Pig Latin! I will fight for this lady and I know she would do the same for me. We always team up on the customers and our co-workers. We always seem to be within ear range of each other and if someone says something out of line we always give a "what was that" or my absolute favorite---what what??? Its like stopping all presses cause Ms. Ernestine will definitely let whoever have it! I came in one day as she was getting off and took one quick look at her face and knew she was pissed. I asked what was wrong cause I thought I was going to have to whoop some ass. She whipped off her white coat, slammed the cash register drawer and said in the loudest voice, "THE WHOLE FUCKING PHARMACY NEEDS AN ENEMA!!!" I know I can be over the top but that caught me like a left hook. As she marched off I could do nothing but watch and say----Now thats a bad bad bitch!!!
Thats my CVS family. You gotta love them to hate them.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I must be some kind of sugar mama???
Hello All. I've been in some kind of relationship now for 2 months and 1 day. My husband decided to treat me yesterday to dinner. I thought it was odd since we didn't do anything special this time last month but I went along to get along as usual. We put our bickering aside and had a nice evening.
I was craving for an Annie's bacon cheeseburger. Yes, I had a cheeseburger for an anniversary dinner. As you all are aware I have no love for the DC food scene. This is not a food city and no place for a southern girl like me who has a love for eatting great food. I have a little over a year left before I will be able to kiss this place goodbye. After I finish my rotations and pass my boards, hopefully before the new year begins, I will be traveling all over this great country in an attempt to identify the next city I will be calling home and I will definitely be checking out the food in each city to gauge whether it would be a good place to call home. That's another thing I like about New York. You can never get tired of eatting in that city with restaraunts on every corner. There are so many different cultures of people there that it is like eatting in a different part of the world everyday. With DC, I have yet to find a favorite place to eat. But, during my tenure in this city, I have fallen in love with cheeseburger's from Annie's.
Annie's is a gay friendly steakhouse located in the gayest section of the city. Its located on 17th street northwest in the midst of numerous other eateries, clubs, and bars. The first time I held a guy's hand in public was on this street. Its a place where I truly feel free to be myself and not worry about being looked at as different. The staff is super friendly and the drinks are something that sneaks up on you. They also have a wine list with numerous words I can't pronounce. This is one time my southern roots make me feel like a complete idiot. I know nothing about wine except that the grape juice my church serves at communion is called wine. I am an eager learner and have found myself yearning for finer things in life, things that are different and unique. Of course this is a white establishment but it is one place that always treats me as its number one customer on each visit. I even showed up there once in full drag with some friends and was still treated with the utmost respect. Fat Joe was even seen once eatting there.
So, I ordered my cheeseburger and I have forgotten what my husband ordered. I started my drinks with a Downtown Manhattan and my husband had a Margaritta on the rocks. My drink was okay but my husband's drink served!!! We ordered two more of those. My best friend stopped by to say hello making the evening even better. The food was great and I was soon stuffed. We left there and went over on U Street to Nellie's Sports bar in hopes on playing Bingo. My drag grandmother AlleyCat Blue, and aunt Sofia Bouvier Carrington were hosting. We got there just as they were finishing up. So we went upstairs to the outside rooftop, chatted and watched the stars and passing cars. To me it was a beautiful evening.
Now, the reason for this post. After such a beautiful evening, my husband and I made our way home and cuddled up on the couch. I noticed a text message on my phone from the 19 year old. I've talked about him before. This little boy gave me some of the best dick I've had in a while. I haven't seen him in over a month and I told him I had a man so it was strange to see a text message from him. The first thing that went through my mind is that he must be in some kind of trouble. Since I've met him, he has been in a very unstable situation. He moves about alot, and has been forced to sleep wherever someone will take him in. He is another brother who is lost and it pains me to see him in the struggle. He has no job or job prospects, his beloved grandmother died and I don't know whats going on with his current family situation since he refuses to talk about it. He basically told me that once again he will be put out. First he asked to borrow some money but come on, you have no job so he could have just asked for some money. I asked how much did he need and he asked how much can I spare. This is where I got pissed because I saw that I was being taken for a fool. Then he asked if he could stay with me until he "gets himself together."
If I wasn't in a relationship, or had my husband here all the time I would have said yes. I think this young man is intelligent but yet needs direction. When I was 19, I was in college and spent most of my free time with my great-uncle and his wife. They fed me, washed my clothes and treated me as their son. Even to this day they still do that whenever I visit them. My uncle showed me how to bowl, took me fishing, and was there whenever I needed to talk. His wife stepped in with money whenever I needed it and gave me love even though she wasn't my blood relative. The 19 year old is hilarious in my opinion and I wanted him to go down to the DC Improv to start a career in comedy because I truly see the beginnings of a great. He has a gift that need a little nurturing and he needs a break from life itself. I truly wish I could have provided a roof over his head and could help him but if I want this relationship I'm in to survive I can't move in a dick I still have cravings for.
So what is a good faggot to do? And why am I finding myself being a sugar mama lately? I got one nigga here already in a similar situation as the 19 year old. I thank God that I have learned how to budget money. My mom got me a checking account when I turned 16 and my money skill have only gotten better over the years. But how far can I stretch what I have? How many people can I help? When is enough really enough? But when I need help its like talking to a wall. My board exams will be expensive and a full 5 months before I will be taking them I already know I won't have the money. Who is going to step in to help me?
I'm going to keep him in my prayers and wish the best for him. But I truly wish I could help him. I worry about him. I wonder if he's hungry? Maybe I should call to check on him or maybe I should just leave it alone? DAMN!
I was craving for an Annie's bacon cheeseburger. Yes, I had a cheeseburger for an anniversary dinner. As you all are aware I have no love for the DC food scene. This is not a food city and no place for a southern girl like me who has a love for eatting great food. I have a little over a year left before I will be able to kiss this place goodbye. After I finish my rotations and pass my boards, hopefully before the new year begins, I will be traveling all over this great country in an attempt to identify the next city I will be calling home and I will definitely be checking out the food in each city to gauge whether it would be a good place to call home. That's another thing I like about New York. You can never get tired of eatting in that city with restaraunts on every corner. There are so many different cultures of people there that it is like eatting in a different part of the world everyday. With DC, I have yet to find a favorite place to eat. But, during my tenure in this city, I have fallen in love with cheeseburger's from Annie's.
Annie's is a gay friendly steakhouse located in the gayest section of the city. Its located on 17th street northwest in the midst of numerous other eateries, clubs, and bars. The first time I held a guy's hand in public was on this street. Its a place where I truly feel free to be myself and not worry about being looked at as different. The staff is super friendly and the drinks are something that sneaks up on you. They also have a wine list with numerous words I can't pronounce. This is one time my southern roots make me feel like a complete idiot. I know nothing about wine except that the grape juice my church serves at communion is called wine. I am an eager learner and have found myself yearning for finer things in life, things that are different and unique. Of course this is a white establishment but it is one place that always treats me as its number one customer on each visit. I even showed up there once in full drag with some friends and was still treated with the utmost respect. Fat Joe was even seen once eatting there.
So, I ordered my cheeseburger and I have forgotten what my husband ordered. I started my drinks with a Downtown Manhattan and my husband had a Margaritta on the rocks. My drink was okay but my husband's drink served!!! We ordered two more of those. My best friend stopped by to say hello making the evening even better. The food was great and I was soon stuffed. We left there and went over on U Street to Nellie's Sports bar in hopes on playing Bingo. My drag grandmother AlleyCat Blue, and aunt Sofia Bouvier Carrington were hosting. We got there just as they were finishing up. So we went upstairs to the outside rooftop, chatted and watched the stars and passing cars. To me it was a beautiful evening.
Now, the reason for this post. After such a beautiful evening, my husband and I made our way home and cuddled up on the couch. I noticed a text message on my phone from the 19 year old. I've talked about him before. This little boy gave me some of the best dick I've had in a while. I haven't seen him in over a month and I told him I had a man so it was strange to see a text message from him. The first thing that went through my mind is that he must be in some kind of trouble. Since I've met him, he has been in a very unstable situation. He moves about alot, and has been forced to sleep wherever someone will take him in. He is another brother who is lost and it pains me to see him in the struggle. He has no job or job prospects, his beloved grandmother died and I don't know whats going on with his current family situation since he refuses to talk about it. He basically told me that once again he will be put out. First he asked to borrow some money but come on, you have no job so he could have just asked for some money. I asked how much did he need and he asked how much can I spare. This is where I got pissed because I saw that I was being taken for a fool. Then he asked if he could stay with me until he "gets himself together."
If I wasn't in a relationship, or had my husband here all the time I would have said yes. I think this young man is intelligent but yet needs direction. When I was 19, I was in college and spent most of my free time with my great-uncle and his wife. They fed me, washed my clothes and treated me as their son. Even to this day they still do that whenever I visit them. My uncle showed me how to bowl, took me fishing, and was there whenever I needed to talk. His wife stepped in with money whenever I needed it and gave me love even though she wasn't my blood relative. The 19 year old is hilarious in my opinion and I wanted him to go down to the DC Improv to start a career in comedy because I truly see the beginnings of a great. He has a gift that need a little nurturing and he needs a break from life itself. I truly wish I could have provided a roof over his head and could help him but if I want this relationship I'm in to survive I can't move in a dick I still have cravings for.
So what is a good faggot to do? And why am I finding myself being a sugar mama lately? I got one nigga here already in a similar situation as the 19 year old. I thank God that I have learned how to budget money. My mom got me a checking account when I turned 16 and my money skill have only gotten better over the years. But how far can I stretch what I have? How many people can I help? When is enough really enough? But when I need help its like talking to a wall. My board exams will be expensive and a full 5 months before I will be taking them I already know I won't have the money. Who is going to step in to help me?
I'm going to keep him in my prayers and wish the best for him. But I truly wish I could help him. I worry about him. I wonder if he's hungry? Maybe I should call to check on him or maybe I should just leave it alone? DAMN!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
An outing with the husband
Hello All!!! The husband and I had a little outing last Friday night. He had been telling me all week how he wanted to go over someone's house he knew to play cards. I was a little less than enthused about going but to please my man I said yes. The things he likes to do I seem to be the exact opposite. On Tuesday's he usually goes to the Bachelor's Mill to meet with his old friends to play cards. He dragged me to that a couple of times and I was bored out of my mind. I ended up putting all my dollar bills into the jukebox and played DJ for an hour or so. On Thursday's he out bowling with a league he's in. He always looses his money there so I have to keep a watch on how much he takes. I haven't been out to that because the mailman that I have talked about in other posts is also a member of a different league that bowls at the same place. I don't wanna go there and start some shit between them. The mailman stands at 6'5" and weighs at least 220lbs. My husband is all of 5'10", maybe 165lbs. If the mailman falls on him he will need a doctor.
Anyway, last Friday night I went to support my man. We arrived at the monstrosity that DC calls row houses around 10PM. These are crampped boxes with stairs only big enough for one person slathered together in a row side by side. I wouldn't dare live in one of those things. Then the natives here have the nerve to paint them different colors. Looks like somthing right out of the 70's. These things have to be an interior decorator's worse nightmare and a fashionista's greatest opponent to closet space.
Before we could even get up to the house some old man was outside gawking at me. I felt so uncomfortable. He made some kind of comment on how my husband has robbed the crib that for some odd reason he thought was funny. Punched his ass(the husband not the old man)in the side for that one. Already off to a bad start. The host came and greeted us and invited us in. I could already tell some overzealous queen decorated. The plants were way too huge for the space so was the furniture. There was a mirror at every turn and avon ordered assortments all over the place. The carpet looked like it was put down the day I was torn from my mother's womb and the house reeked of moth balls and old potpurri.
We were led down into the basement whose door had a mirror on the back of it. Really? Is a mirror really needed on the back of a basement door. There were about 15 other people down there already sitting at three different tables playing cards. Our host was very gracious as he/she led us to all the tables and introduced me to everyone. I only knew one person there-- Ms. Monet Dupree, a drag queen/transexual who performs on Wednesday's down at the Mill. She looked a mess. Her face was overpainted, wig looked like it belonged on someone's dead grandfather, nails painted the brightest red I've ever seen and her feet were in major need of a pedicure. O God! My husband already knew everyone so he was off conversating. The host showed me were the drinks were and got me a spot to sit. I fixed me some lemonade and sat down to think about how I could escape from this situation. The host came back to check on me about 10 minutes later. She said it was food upstairs and asked if I wanted some. Now being from the deep south I have never been to someone's house and turned down food. In my hometown that is considered an insult. I forgot that I was no longer in Aliceville, Alabama. I went into the kitchen to find more mirrors, more plants and a metal shelf with canned foods and other non-perishables on it. Most people keep things like that in something called a pantry or at least a kitchen cabinet but due to these row houses there is no room.
The host had fixed a quick chilli and rice. The chilli looked fine but the rice was a mess. It totally looked like grits. It was stuck together in a steaming heap. She totally overcooked it. I grabbed two spoonfulls and some chlli and made my way back to the basement. Within three bites my stomach had started to grumble. I shoved it down as best I could trying to be nice. I soon had to go pee and went to the bathroom upstairs. It was also decorated by someone's great-great grand aunt. Opened the top of the toilet to find shit stains all in the bowl. I pissed as fast as I could. I later found out from my husband that Ms. Dupree went in there before me and blowed it up. Doesn't she know its not lady like to be shitting in public? I got ahold of my best friend Sebastian and she came to picked me up.
I was so happy to get out of there. We rode around the streets of DC for an hour or so. Went on U street which looked like Times Square. There were people everywhere. Rode to the gayest part of the city, DuPont Circle, then went over to the "straight" nightclubs that I said I would start to frequent. I think the name of it was Ibiza or something like that. I use to go to Lux Lounge when it was called The Avenue but I looked at that line as we passed by and was like Whitney, "O Hell Naw!" That line was around the block. Ibiza's crowed looked cute though. Trade was everywhere. I gotta check that out. Then we rode down to Ziegfield's which is another club where there is a mix of strippers and drag queens. When I first discovered that place it was in southeast DC and was the best spot in the summertime for cruising the boys. It was in an industrial part of the city then but had the US capitol building in its backdrop. The new baseball stadium shut it doors but it relocated a stones throw from there in Southwest DC. I stood my ass out in the freezing cold back in March for almost two hours for its grand opening. It is still a cute place to be if you wanna go and just loose yourself.
Sebastian and I chatted and caught up and I was sad to see the evening end when he dropped my ass back off at that house. I hung around there for another 30 minutes before my stomach was really giving "O no Ma'am" and had to make my way home. My husband said he would catch a ride back. My husband claimed later Sunday that his stomach was tore up. I had to chuckle to myself on that one.
Do you know that niggah brought his ass home around 7AM!!? I let him have it! I know I am not right all the time but I wouldn't dare let the sun beat me home, weekend or not. Ya'll please pray for me! Until next time, smoochies!
Anyway, last Friday night I went to support my man. We arrived at the monstrosity that DC calls row houses around 10PM. These are crampped boxes with stairs only big enough for one person slathered together in a row side by side. I wouldn't dare live in one of those things. Then the natives here have the nerve to paint them different colors. Looks like somthing right out of the 70's. These things have to be an interior decorator's worse nightmare and a fashionista's greatest opponent to closet space.
Before we could even get up to the house some old man was outside gawking at me. I felt so uncomfortable. He made some kind of comment on how my husband has robbed the crib that for some odd reason he thought was funny. Punched his ass(the husband not the old man)in the side for that one. Already off to a bad start. The host came and greeted us and invited us in. I could already tell some overzealous queen decorated. The plants were way too huge for the space so was the furniture. There was a mirror at every turn and avon ordered assortments all over the place. The carpet looked like it was put down the day I was torn from my mother's womb and the house reeked of moth balls and old potpurri.
We were led down into the basement whose door had a mirror on the back of it. Really? Is a mirror really needed on the back of a basement door. There were about 15 other people down there already sitting at three different tables playing cards. Our host was very gracious as he/she led us to all the tables and introduced me to everyone. I only knew one person there-- Ms. Monet Dupree, a drag queen/transexual who performs on Wednesday's down at the Mill. She looked a mess. Her face was overpainted, wig looked like it belonged on someone's dead grandfather, nails painted the brightest red I've ever seen and her feet were in major need of a pedicure. O God! My husband already knew everyone so he was off conversating. The host showed me were the drinks were and got me a spot to sit. I fixed me some lemonade and sat down to think about how I could escape from this situation. The host came back to check on me about 10 minutes later. She said it was food upstairs and asked if I wanted some. Now being from the deep south I have never been to someone's house and turned down food. In my hometown that is considered an insult. I forgot that I was no longer in Aliceville, Alabama. I went into the kitchen to find more mirrors, more plants and a metal shelf with canned foods and other non-perishables on it. Most people keep things like that in something called a pantry or at least a kitchen cabinet but due to these row houses there is no room.
The host had fixed a quick chilli and rice. The chilli looked fine but the rice was a mess. It totally looked like grits. It was stuck together in a steaming heap. She totally overcooked it. I grabbed two spoonfulls and some chlli and made my way back to the basement. Within three bites my stomach had started to grumble. I shoved it down as best I could trying to be nice. I soon had to go pee and went to the bathroom upstairs. It was also decorated by someone's great-great grand aunt. Opened the top of the toilet to find shit stains all in the bowl. I pissed as fast as I could. I later found out from my husband that Ms. Dupree went in there before me and blowed it up. Doesn't she know its not lady like to be shitting in public? I got ahold of my best friend Sebastian and she came to picked me up.
I was so happy to get out of there. We rode around the streets of DC for an hour or so. Went on U street which looked like Times Square. There were people everywhere. Rode to the gayest part of the city, DuPont Circle, then went over to the "straight" nightclubs that I said I would start to frequent. I think the name of it was Ibiza or something like that. I use to go to Lux Lounge when it was called The Avenue but I looked at that line as we passed by and was like Whitney, "O Hell Naw!" That line was around the block. Ibiza's crowed looked cute though. Trade was everywhere. I gotta check that out. Then we rode down to Ziegfield's which is another club where there is a mix of strippers and drag queens. When I first discovered that place it was in southeast DC and was the best spot in the summertime for cruising the boys. It was in an industrial part of the city then but had the US capitol building in its backdrop. The new baseball stadium shut it doors but it relocated a stones throw from there in Southwest DC. I stood my ass out in the freezing cold back in March for almost two hours for its grand opening. It is still a cute place to be if you wanna go and just loose yourself.
Sebastian and I chatted and caught up and I was sad to see the evening end when he dropped my ass back off at that house. I hung around there for another 30 minutes before my stomach was really giving "O no Ma'am" and had to make my way home. My husband said he would catch a ride back. My husband claimed later Sunday that his stomach was tore up. I had to chuckle to myself on that one.
Do you know that niggah brought his ass home around 7AM!!? I let him have it! I know I am not right all the time but I wouldn't dare let the sun beat me home, weekend or not. Ya'll please pray for me! Until next time, smoochies!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Friends & Money
Happy Sunday everyone!!! I had this weekend off from work so I have been laying around the house like one ol nasty faggot. I am in dire need of a shave, manicure, and haircut. All I've done is rolled out the bed, showered, ate a bunch of junkfood, and half-heartedly watched The Wendy Williams Show. That is one ugly bitch!
It has been one glorious weekend seeing that me and my husband/boy toy/parasite went to the countryside of Pennsylvania last weekend so he could be in a bowling tournament. He lost his entire paycheck trying to win and I didn't even get any dick! I was going to turn that room out at this beautiful hotel we were staying in. But the bitch at reservations put all of the league players on the same floor. I truly believe he was scared someone would hear us. O God, CeCe Penniston is on the Wendy Williams Show singing one of my favorite songs right now----------FINALLY. Sing Bitch!!! Hold on, I gotta go dance.
Ok, I'm back. I just broke a little sweat dancing to that. That song takes it back. Anyway. I don't know why he was faking, we were the only two dudes in one room on the floor. I wasted a good FLEET's on him that night. All the bottoms out there know about those FLEETS. Thats 0k, I'm going to make sure to PAINT him a good memory! LOL
Anyway, the reason for this post. I loaned one of my good good friends a little money last month. For this particular friend, I never have a problem lending them money because they have stepped in to help me countless times, not only financially but also by being a good listener, a shoulder to cry on, a fashion inspiration (that bitch dresses her ass off), teacher, and all around more friend than I could every pray for.
But I was deeply disturbed to get a text saying they were going out to a birthday party on the Potomac River. I felt like I had been slapped on the left and right cheek, kicked in the stomach and then fucked by Mr. Marcus, Lexington Steele, and that mule looking Bobby Blake. I was hurt, I was upset. I mean, here I am budgeting the little money I have, working every other weekend, trying to please a man who seems unpleasable, and also trying to handle my business in a doctorate program 8 hours a day with no pay. Sure enough, I have put myself into each of these situations and am the only one who can bring myself out. Due to my dire restraints, I have even given thought to trying out for the amateur stripper contest next Wednesday down at Secrets.
So after this news of the party, I asked for an update on my coins. Now, I was always told never to let someone borrow money unless you can give it without needing it yourself. At the time I was able and am always willing to help out this friend. If they ask, I will always be there for them. I try to do that for all my friends. So after I sent the text regarding the update there was long pause. I am sure that she was thinking that the amount I let her borrow is something I can wipe my ass with but when you have five bills on the table and are thinking which to pay now and which will have to wait till next month any amount is like gold.
I did finally get an accetable explanation as to when I would see my coins and how they were able to attend this party. There are things I would like to do myself. I wanna go to the beach, I haven't been to New York since last September, its time for a visit, my grandmother just had surgery, I wanna go see her, I don't remember the last pair of shoes I bought. Fantasia is here doing the Color Purple at the Kennedy Center, I wanna go. John Legend and India Arie where just here in concert, I wanted to go. All the things I wanna do have to be put on hold. But anyway!
There were no hard feelings left and we carried on our conversation as usual. As for my bills, I have already taken them to God in prayer. When something comes along that I cannot handle thats what I do with it. I have always been the type of person to step out on faith and faith alone. Hell, to move from the backwoods of Alabama to a place with no family, no friends, no one to truly lean on is a feat all its own.
So what did I learn? Something I already knew. When I can't handle something, take it to the Lord in prayer and he will fix it 1000 times better than I ever will.
It has been one glorious weekend seeing that me and my husband/boy toy/parasite went to the countryside of Pennsylvania last weekend so he could be in a bowling tournament. He lost his entire paycheck trying to win and I didn't even get any dick! I was going to turn that room out at this beautiful hotel we were staying in. But the bitch at reservations put all of the league players on the same floor. I truly believe he was scared someone would hear us. O God, CeCe Penniston is on the Wendy Williams Show singing one of my favorite songs right now----------FINALLY. Sing Bitch!!! Hold on, I gotta go dance.
Ok, I'm back. I just broke a little sweat dancing to that. That song takes it back. Anyway. I don't know why he was faking, we were the only two dudes in one room on the floor. I wasted a good FLEET's on him that night. All the bottoms out there know about those FLEETS. Thats 0k, I'm going to make sure to PAINT him a good memory! LOL
Anyway, the reason for this post. I loaned one of my good good friends a little money last month. For this particular friend, I never have a problem lending them money because they have stepped in to help me countless times, not only financially but also by being a good listener, a shoulder to cry on, a fashion inspiration (that bitch dresses her ass off), teacher, and all around more friend than I could every pray for.
But I was deeply disturbed to get a text saying they were going out to a birthday party on the Potomac River. I felt like I had been slapped on the left and right cheek, kicked in the stomach and then fucked by Mr. Marcus, Lexington Steele, and that mule looking Bobby Blake. I was hurt, I was upset. I mean, here I am budgeting the little money I have, working every other weekend, trying to please a man who seems unpleasable, and also trying to handle my business in a doctorate program 8 hours a day with no pay. Sure enough, I have put myself into each of these situations and am the only one who can bring myself out. Due to my dire restraints, I have even given thought to trying out for the amateur stripper contest next Wednesday down at Secrets.
So after this news of the party, I asked for an update on my coins. Now, I was always told never to let someone borrow money unless you can give it without needing it yourself. At the time I was able and am always willing to help out this friend. If they ask, I will always be there for them. I try to do that for all my friends. So after I sent the text regarding the update there was long pause. I am sure that she was thinking that the amount I let her borrow is something I can wipe my ass with but when you have five bills on the table and are thinking which to pay now and which will have to wait till next month any amount is like gold.
I did finally get an accetable explanation as to when I would see my coins and how they were able to attend this party. There are things I would like to do myself. I wanna go to the beach, I haven't been to New York since last September, its time for a visit, my grandmother just had surgery, I wanna go see her, I don't remember the last pair of shoes I bought. Fantasia is here doing the Color Purple at the Kennedy Center, I wanna go. John Legend and India Arie where just here in concert, I wanted to go. All the things I wanna do have to be put on hold. But anyway!
There were no hard feelings left and we carried on our conversation as usual. As for my bills, I have already taken them to God in prayer. When something comes along that I cannot handle thats what I do with it. I have always been the type of person to step out on faith and faith alone. Hell, to move from the backwoods of Alabama to a place with no family, no friends, no one to truly lean on is a feat all its own.
So what did I learn? Something I already knew. When I can't handle something, take it to the Lord in prayer and he will fix it 1000 times better than I ever will.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
My Man?
Hello All. Hope everyone is well. I guess I can say I have a boyfriend now. Shit, he has been with me almost every day since our initial meeting back on May 28th. I came home one day to find clothes and miscellaneous possessions in my house. I knew it as truth when I was washing clothes one day and found draws and clothes that were not mine. This muthafucka has put his shit in with mine. He broke my damn laptop computer too by downloading games and shit. I almost had a heart attack when my baby quit responding. I went the hell off too. That laptop is like my cell phone, an extension that I am lost without.
My mailman trade made a visit one day and he noticed a small bag at the door. I had told all of my fuck buddies that I have a man here and will be unable to frequent their services like I use too. Of course they didn't give a fuck. He asked if the bag was T's and I said yeah. Mailman trade commented that T would be moving in. I denied that saying it would never happen. But day by day I found more of his shit in my house. For example, since my computer is in the shop I am typing this on his desktop computer that he has hooked up for me. I am watching his flat screen plasma 42 inch television while my 32 inch magnavox is in my coat closet. Things around here are changing for the better. I came home today to find the trash taken out, all the dishes washed and my bed made up. What other trade have I had did this kind of shit for me?
He gives me all of his money when he gets paid which he should since he ain't paying not one damn bill. Mailman trade said he should have moved in here. If he wasn't so caught up on keeping me from going out he might have had that chance. Anyway, T lets me do as I please in respect to going out when I want and not trying to tell me what to do, what to say, how to act, etc. It feels good to have someone here to cuddle up to and talk with even though at the time we met I was blissfully happy with the random fucks I was having. I admit that late at night a bit of loneliness would creep up but I have never had a problem finding the next body to fill that void.
But is he truly mine? Yes, he is here ever day. Yeah, we sleep wrapped up with each other but my mind has not settled into claiming that. I am still in the dark about the person he was staying with in Virginia. I still feel like I am just the next conveince to his currently not having his own place. Since the person in Virginia told him he had to leave he may see me as someone whose "southern hospitality" he can take advantage of. As for the sex, its ok. I've had better. He seems to be pleased with it but our sex life needs a boost or trust I will get it from somewhere else. I've decided to take things a day at a time and see where it leads.
My grandmother always told me to watch out for those "city slickers".
My mailman trade made a visit one day and he noticed a small bag at the door. I had told all of my fuck buddies that I have a man here and will be unable to frequent their services like I use too. Of course they didn't give a fuck. He asked if the bag was T's and I said yeah. Mailman trade commented that T would be moving in. I denied that saying it would never happen. But day by day I found more of his shit in my house. For example, since my computer is in the shop I am typing this on his desktop computer that he has hooked up for me. I am watching his flat screen plasma 42 inch television while my 32 inch magnavox is in my coat closet. Things around here are changing for the better. I came home today to find the trash taken out, all the dishes washed and my bed made up. What other trade have I had did this kind of shit for me?
He gives me all of his money when he gets paid which he should since he ain't paying not one damn bill. Mailman trade said he should have moved in here. If he wasn't so caught up on keeping me from going out he might have had that chance. Anyway, T lets me do as I please in respect to going out when I want and not trying to tell me what to do, what to say, how to act, etc. It feels good to have someone here to cuddle up to and talk with even though at the time we met I was blissfully happy with the random fucks I was having. I admit that late at night a bit of loneliness would creep up but I have never had a problem finding the next body to fill that void.
But is he truly mine? Yes, he is here ever day. Yeah, we sleep wrapped up with each other but my mind has not settled into claiming that. I am still in the dark about the person he was staying with in Virginia. I still feel like I am just the next conveince to his currently not having his own place. Since the person in Virginia told him he had to leave he may see me as someone whose "southern hospitality" he can take advantage of. As for the sex, its ok. I've had better. He seems to be pleased with it but our sex life needs a boost or trust I will get it from somewhere else. I've decided to take things a day at a time and see where it leads.
My grandmother always told me to watch out for those "city slickers".
Sunday, June 21, 2009
A strange place, part 2
So, I followed Tarrus back to his apartment. Or what I thought was his apartment. He grabs some bags out of the truck he was driving and engages my help in bringing them up to the apartment. I am in no way a bag mover unless it has something inside showing proof of purchase. Other than that I am a director, I will tell you where you can put that other shit. On the way up he explains that his "roommate" is inside and we will have to be quiet. He also ask if it is ok to go back to my place. I oblige in his requests and due to being beat from all that dancing and having several Mill drinks I was in a very good mood. We were inside for all of five minutes. He packs a bag and we are off again.
We get back outside and he follows me to my car. This is where my brain wakes the fuck up. "Um, aren't you going to take your truck so you will have a way back", I ask. He says that is his roommates truck and don't worry he know how to catch the metro. We are in Arlington, Va and I live in Mt. Rainier, MD. I chuckle to myself cause I know it is going to be hell for him to get home from my side. But I'll be goddamed if I'm taking him back. So, we get to my place and do the do. The dick was just as cute as he is. Long and thick, points down a bit. But the experience wasn't what I expected. While laying there, looking at the ceiling, I thought, "Wow another big dicked muthafucka who has no idea what he is doing," After laying there taking more pain than pleasure I hurry up and bust to get him off me. (Hell, even when he was eatting me out it hurt). I knew that it wasn't going to get any better for me no matter how much he kept repeating, "This sum good ass, this some good ass, this some good ass!" YAWN. I helped him get a nut, went to wash up and before I could get back with a towel for his ass he is fast asleep! I lay there watching him sleep and something in me began to stir. Even with the bad sex somehow I seemed to have enjoyed myself. I lay there confused and drift off to sleep.
I wake up to trade saying, "Whats for breakfast?" I said nothing, I gotta go to school for four hours so you are going to have to leave. He gives me a hug and says he'll be waiting. Truly, I didn't want to leave him here but that same thing that was pulling at me before I went to sleep gave me a reassuring pat saying its only for four hours. I left out of here with everything that meant something to me. Wallet, checkbook, pictures, nikels, dimes, and pennies. I just knew all of my shit was going to be gone and I wouldn't have a phone number or address to track it back down. I went to school on pins and needles and could not concentrate on the tasks I was given. I couldnt drive back home fast enough when school was out. And he was still here, playing some damn video game on my computer and watching tv. He smiles and gives me a hug. For some odd reason I am immediately put at ease. I cook us a breakfast of pancakes, eggs, sausage, and bacon. I am so ready for him to go so I can find my next peice of trade. But something is drawing me to him, we have common interests and thoughts. He has a brain and a dick. He is able to carry on intellectual conversations. He knows who Phyllis Hyman is!
I find out that he is 9 years older than me, has a twenty-five year old son (if you do the math you will find out that he was twelve years old when this child was born, two days before his thirteenth b'day) and a five year old grandson. He has fallen on hard times. Due to the recession, he lost his six figure salary job, mercedes, and condo. He is staying with a "friend" who is "helping him out." We hang out everyday and have been doing that for three weeks now. I know that friend in Virginia is his lover or soon to be ex-lover no matter how much he denies it or maybe I just want something to show he is just like the others- a liar. He has started to say he loves me. How can that be after three weeks of knowing someone? Hell, I rarely use those words on family members. He gives me what little money he can and we really seem to be enjoying each others company.
I am being blinded by that strange feeling you get when a simple touch of the skin can send shivers down your back. I pray to God that I am not being used and taken advantage of. I am trying my best to give this guy a chance and also give myself a chance of further healing. I even swore off getting dicked down from anyone else. My trade bottom has been calling, the mailman wants some more, the jamaican, even the army captain gave me a call. I told them all I was involved with someone. That was hard, especially for my trade bottom.
What can I do? All I know is to watch my back and not to become so blinded that I let him run all over me and take advantage of my kindness. I guess I'll just have to take it a day at a time.
We get back outside and he follows me to my car. This is where my brain wakes the fuck up. "Um, aren't you going to take your truck so you will have a way back", I ask. He says that is his roommates truck and don't worry he know how to catch the metro. We are in Arlington, Va and I live in Mt. Rainier, MD. I chuckle to myself cause I know it is going to be hell for him to get home from my side. But I'll be goddamed if I'm taking him back. So, we get to my place and do the do. The dick was just as cute as he is. Long and thick, points down a bit. But the experience wasn't what I expected. While laying there, looking at the ceiling, I thought, "Wow another big dicked muthafucka who has no idea what he is doing," After laying there taking more pain than pleasure I hurry up and bust to get him off me. (Hell, even when he was eatting me out it hurt). I knew that it wasn't going to get any better for me no matter how much he kept repeating, "This sum good ass, this some good ass, this some good ass!" YAWN. I helped him get a nut, went to wash up and before I could get back with a towel for his ass he is fast asleep! I lay there watching him sleep and something in me began to stir. Even with the bad sex somehow I seemed to have enjoyed myself. I lay there confused and drift off to sleep.
I wake up to trade saying, "Whats for breakfast?" I said nothing, I gotta go to school for four hours so you are going to have to leave. He gives me a hug and says he'll be waiting. Truly, I didn't want to leave him here but that same thing that was pulling at me before I went to sleep gave me a reassuring pat saying its only for four hours. I left out of here with everything that meant something to me. Wallet, checkbook, pictures, nikels, dimes, and pennies. I just knew all of my shit was going to be gone and I wouldn't have a phone number or address to track it back down. I went to school on pins and needles and could not concentrate on the tasks I was given. I couldnt drive back home fast enough when school was out. And he was still here, playing some damn video game on my computer and watching tv. He smiles and gives me a hug. For some odd reason I am immediately put at ease. I cook us a breakfast of pancakes, eggs, sausage, and bacon. I am so ready for him to go so I can find my next peice of trade. But something is drawing me to him, we have common interests and thoughts. He has a brain and a dick. He is able to carry on intellectual conversations. He knows who Phyllis Hyman is!
I find out that he is 9 years older than me, has a twenty-five year old son (if you do the math you will find out that he was twelve years old when this child was born, two days before his thirteenth b'day) and a five year old grandson. He has fallen on hard times. Due to the recession, he lost his six figure salary job, mercedes, and condo. He is staying with a "friend" who is "helping him out." We hang out everyday and have been doing that for three weeks now. I know that friend in Virginia is his lover or soon to be ex-lover no matter how much he denies it or maybe I just want something to show he is just like the others- a liar. He has started to say he loves me. How can that be after three weeks of knowing someone? Hell, I rarely use those words on family members. He gives me what little money he can and we really seem to be enjoying each others company.
I am being blinded by that strange feeling you get when a simple touch of the skin can send shivers down your back. I pray to God that I am not being used and taken advantage of. I am trying my best to give this guy a chance and also give myself a chance of further healing. I even swore off getting dicked down from anyone else. My trade bottom has been calling, the mailman wants some more, the jamaican, even the army captain gave me a call. I told them all I was involved with someone. That was hard, especially for my trade bottom.
What can I do? All I know is to watch my back and not to become so blinded that I let him run all over me and take advantage of my kindness. I guess I'll just have to take it a day at a time.
A strange place
Hello All!!! Sorry about such a lapse in my blogging. The sun has came out and so has the boys. In all of my glory I welcomed the sunshine with open arms. It was time to play. You know how people take their problems to the altar? I take mine to the dancefloor. But in that process I found myself is a strange but yet familiar place, a relationship. GASP!!! Yes, I said it. But trust it was not something I set out to find. It found me.
I was involved in an abusive relationship a little over three years ago. That time scarred me mentally and physically and yes I still have the marks to prove it. It took me a long time to put myself back together again. I suffered in silence. The devil sure knows how to kick someone when they are down. I allowed myself to be in harms way for eight long months before I woke up. It took me another eight months to build up the courage to show face again. I vowed to never go through that again and knock on wood, I haven't since.
But that relationship put every other one in a bad spot. I trusted no one but my good good friends and was quick to get my fuck on and discard a person like yesterday's trash. I made it a point to not get feelings involved with sex. I soon found that within a week of meeting someone their name would be forgotten along with the experience. And I have been blissfully happy with that arrangement.
On May 28th, I found myself on the dancefloor at the legendary Bachelor's Mill. It was a couple of days after Black Pride so the place was still packed and full of life. The house music was serving the beats, and I was on the dancefloor working it out. Anyone who has been to the Mill knows that as the people come in so does the heat. I took a break from dancing to go get some air. I came back in and decided to check out the little space they reserve for hip-hop music. The trade in there were so over. Believe it or not I am a shy person. I never have the balls to walk up to someone and ask to dance. Some song came on that I liked and I found myself on the dancefloor dropping it like its hot. (I so have my Alex from Noah's Arc moments, remember when Noah took Wade to the gay club and his friends followed without him knowing? And Alex was like that's my song!)
In the process of shaking it, this brother comes up to dance with me. He's about 5'10", chocolate, somewhat muscular, bald head. Cute, I thought. We hit it off and had fun. We chatted and I figured that would be the end of that. I heard another beat in the House music side and left to go put it down some more. He followed and we danced up a storm there. The night came to an end and he asked me to follow him back to his apartment. I knew where that was leading but after such a night I said, what the hell??
I was involved in an abusive relationship a little over three years ago. That time scarred me mentally and physically and yes I still have the marks to prove it. It took me a long time to put myself back together again. I suffered in silence. The devil sure knows how to kick someone when they are down. I allowed myself to be in harms way for eight long months before I woke up. It took me another eight months to build up the courage to show face again. I vowed to never go through that again and knock on wood, I haven't since.
But that relationship put every other one in a bad spot. I trusted no one but my good good friends and was quick to get my fuck on and discard a person like yesterday's trash. I made it a point to not get feelings involved with sex. I soon found that within a week of meeting someone their name would be forgotten along with the experience. And I have been blissfully happy with that arrangement.
On May 28th, I found myself on the dancefloor at the legendary Bachelor's Mill. It was a couple of days after Black Pride so the place was still packed and full of life. The house music was serving the beats, and I was on the dancefloor working it out. Anyone who has been to the Mill knows that as the people come in so does the heat. I took a break from dancing to go get some air. I came back in and decided to check out the little space they reserve for hip-hop music. The trade in there were so over. Believe it or not I am a shy person. I never have the balls to walk up to someone and ask to dance. Some song came on that I liked and I found myself on the dancefloor dropping it like its hot. (I so have my Alex from Noah's Arc moments, remember when Noah took Wade to the gay club and his friends followed without him knowing? And Alex was like that's my song!)
In the process of shaking it, this brother comes up to dance with me. He's about 5'10", chocolate, somewhat muscular, bald head. Cute, I thought. We hit it off and had fun. We chatted and I figured that would be the end of that. I heard another beat in the House music side and left to go put it down some more. He followed and we danced up a storm there. The night came to an end and he asked me to follow him back to his apartment. I knew where that was leading but after such a night I said, what the hell??
Friday, June 5, 2009
Fast Forward
Hello All!!! Been trying my best to catch up on these posts. Where shall I start?
Court. I went to court in Arlington May 18 because of my wreckless driving ticket. I was leaving this cute piece of spanish trade house and on cloud nine. How was I suppose to know I was driving over 90 miles per hour?? So in Virginia, if you are driving 20 miles or more over the speed limit its wreckless and a misdemeanor punishable with up to 12 months in jail, a $2,500 fee plus $61 in court fees. I came to court looking o so fabulous. I plead guilty with an explanation. I didn't say anything about leaving the trade's house but I did mention being tired and apologized to "all of the citizens of the commonwealth for putting them in danger." The judge has involuntarily enrolled me in driving school the first three Wednesdays in June and collected 200 coins from me. I have final sentencing on August 4th.
I met a 6'5" mailman and did the do with him. More on him later.
DC Pride. I have made a conscious decision to avoid all pride activities for the last 2 years due to it just being so out of the norm for DC activities. This year I made an exception. I needed to let off some steam. I started my activities on Friday at the Fireplace over in Dupont Circle. It was packed to the brim with a line outside. Who stands in line to get into the Fireplace??!! That place has always been on the "bottom" of my party list but the drinks are cheap and definitely do the trick. I first ran into a couple of trannies outside who wished me a Happy Pride. Then this spanish queen tried to get my number at the traffic light as I was trying to cross P street. Then I saw my friend Ronald who gave me a big hug and we caught up with each other while standing in line. Auuuggh, a line at the Fireplace?? Finally got inside and gave them my coins. It was so packed I couldnt even get to the bar. So I checked out the boys. It was cute. Saw this Sigma dude I use to fuck with. He ruined my evening, stalking my ass. After I got tired of him I left. This muthafucka is still texting me, and calling me to this day. So damn desperate. I hate that shit.
I left the Fireplace and went to the legendary Bachelor's Mill. I know it is not the most fabulous place in DC but it turns it every now and then for me. It was jammed packed and I danced my ass off. I sweated like I had played in a NBA championship game. I met some cute boys, and got the numbers of course.
On Saturday, I got up and did some shopping. H&M, Urban Outfitters, American Eagle, etc. I'm not much of a shoe person. I did try to find some shoes but as usual I left empty handed on shoes. I saw this trade at the shoe store. Thats probably the reason why I couldnt find shoes, I was too busy looking at him, lol
Court. I went to court in Arlington May 18 because of my wreckless driving ticket. I was leaving this cute piece of spanish trade house and on cloud nine. How was I suppose to know I was driving over 90 miles per hour?? So in Virginia, if you are driving 20 miles or more over the speed limit its wreckless and a misdemeanor punishable with up to 12 months in jail, a $2,500 fee plus $61 in court fees. I came to court looking o so fabulous. I plead guilty with an explanation. I didn't say anything about leaving the trade's house but I did mention being tired and apologized to "all of the citizens of the commonwealth for putting them in danger." The judge has involuntarily enrolled me in driving school the first three Wednesdays in June and collected 200 coins from me. I have final sentencing on August 4th.
I met a 6'5" mailman and did the do with him. More on him later.
DC Pride. I have made a conscious decision to avoid all pride activities for the last 2 years due to it just being so out of the norm for DC activities. This year I made an exception. I needed to let off some steam. I started my activities on Friday at the Fireplace over in Dupont Circle. It was packed to the brim with a line outside. Who stands in line to get into the Fireplace??!! That place has always been on the "bottom" of my party list but the drinks are cheap and definitely do the trick. I first ran into a couple of trannies outside who wished me a Happy Pride. Then this spanish queen tried to get my number at the traffic light as I was trying to cross P street. Then I saw my friend Ronald who gave me a big hug and we caught up with each other while standing in line. Auuuggh, a line at the Fireplace?? Finally got inside and gave them my coins. It was so packed I couldnt even get to the bar. So I checked out the boys. It was cute. Saw this Sigma dude I use to fuck with. He ruined my evening, stalking my ass. After I got tired of him I left. This muthafucka is still texting me, and calling me to this day. So damn desperate. I hate that shit.
I left the Fireplace and went to the legendary Bachelor's Mill. I know it is not the most fabulous place in DC but it turns it every now and then for me. It was jammed packed and I danced my ass off. I sweated like I had played in a NBA championship game. I met some cute boys, and got the numbers of course.
On Saturday, I got up and did some shopping. H&M, Urban Outfitters, American Eagle, etc. I'm not much of a shoe person. I did try to find some shoes but as usual I left empty handed on shoes. I saw this trade at the shoe store. Thats probably the reason why I couldnt find shoes, I was too busy looking at him, lol
Sunday was brunch with my family. It was cute and the food was over. My new brother, (my former brother-in-law) cooked his ass off. If I wasn't still slightly hungover from the Delta I would have ate up all of that food!
Monday was a extended family pic nic. All of us Blues, Lees and many many others met at Anacostia park. We ate, laughed, kee-keeyed, read each other for blood, and just all around had a perfect time. Even in the rain it was still over.
Tuesday was back to bullshit. Alas!!!!!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
An at home Kee-Kee
Hello All! Looks like I will never catch up on these blogs. Just not enough time. For those of you who read my last entry, you know I traveled back to my home state to celebrate mother's day with my mother. When I am at home, I stay with my grandmother basically because that's where I am most comfortable when I go home. My grandmother just like so many others, has a hand in raising her grandchildren. She has been raising children for a very long time. Her oldest child is 50 years old. Now she keeps my two youngest cousins while her daughter is at work, Wesley, 9 years old, and Terilyn, 1 year, 5 months old.
For the couple of days I was home, Terilyn was the first thing I would see in the morning. She would greet me by climbing in the bed and popping me in the head as hard as she could. I flipped her ass on the floor the first morning she bopped my ass. But just like the rest of us she is a fighter. She didn't cry, picked her self up and kept it moving like nothing happened. She has just started to get a grasp on the English language. Shit, I'm 28 and barely got a grasp on it. She can say candy, bread, dog, meat, drink, you know little simple things. Its so cute. I am so amazed. I miss out on so much.
Anyways, on the last day of my visit, she comes in the room but this time I am already awake. I say hey Terilyn, she says hey and waves her hand. I am watching the news and she glances at the tv for a bit. At that point I can smell that she has messed her diaper. I say, "Terilyn, you stink." She looks at me smiles and walks off. Two minutes later, she comes back pullling my grandmother by the hand. My grandmother is lost saying what, what do you want little girl?? I'm still laying in the bed. Terilyn and my grandmother are now standing at the foot of the bed. Terilyn looks at me, then she looks at my grandmother and says..........
"I shitted."
I KEY- KEEEYED!!!!!! I know she learned that language from my grandmother. She is a curser. We all learned it from her. Even she had to laugh at that one.
For the couple of days I was home, Terilyn was the first thing I would see in the morning. She would greet me by climbing in the bed and popping me in the head as hard as she could. I flipped her ass on the floor the first morning she bopped my ass. But just like the rest of us she is a fighter. She didn't cry, picked her self up and kept it moving like nothing happened. She has just started to get a grasp on the English language. Shit, I'm 28 and barely got a grasp on it. She can say candy, bread, dog, meat, drink, you know little simple things. Its so cute. I am so amazed. I miss out on so much.
Anyways, on the last day of my visit, she comes in the room but this time I am already awake. I say hey Terilyn, she says hey and waves her hand. I am watching the news and she glances at the tv for a bit. At that point I can smell that she has messed her diaper. I say, "Terilyn, you stink." She looks at me smiles and walks off. Two minutes later, she comes back pullling my grandmother by the hand. My grandmother is lost saying what, what do you want little girl?? I'm still laying in the bed. Terilyn and my grandmother are now standing at the foot of the bed. Terilyn looks at me, then she looks at my grandmother and says..........
"I shitted."
I KEY- KEEEYED!!!!!! I know she learned that language from my grandmother. She is a curser. We all learned it from her. Even she had to laugh at that one.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Back Home
Hello All!!! I've been trying my best to catch up on my posts. So many things are floating around in my head and I am trying my best to get them out. On May 8th I flew back home to Alabama to try and surprise my mother for mother's day. That shit didn't work. She was told I was coming before I even left Baltimore. She called me all excited about me coming telling me what all we were going to do when I got there. I was pissed that she knew but tried to play it off.
This was once again suppose to be a payed trip courtesy of Denise, one of my family friends. The key word in that last sentence is suppose but it ended up coming out of my pocket. Her dad died the Sunday before I was scheduled to leave so I know her mind was elsewhere. Denise is the second black pharmacist I have ever met in my life. She's about 10 years older than me. We met when I worked for Rite Aide down in Montgomery, Alabama back in 2003. We hit it off instantly and have been good friends ever since. She has since then purchased a beautiful home, a nice Lincoln and even had a baby. Just like so many other professional black women she has trouble getting and keeping a man. We have had countless long conversations about that. As irony would have it she has started to come on to me. She and her sister came up for the inaguration and I noticed how close she was sitting to me and all the pictures she was getting of us together. I was so uncomfortable. Her sister finally told me what was going on and with me not wanting to hurt my good friends feelings I've kept quiet about it. Her sister has started calling me brother-in-law. Damn, bitch can't remember my name just that quick. I've had my share of pussy from back in the day but I can't ever imaging fucking Denise.
It was a calm 64 degrees when I left Baltimore. It was 87 fucking degrees when I landed in Birmingham. Having been away from home for as long as I have I am still having problems remembering what the weather is like there. As soon as I got off the plane walking down the little ramp to go claim my baggage every pore in my fucking body opened up and poured out gallons of sweat. I was so over it. I rented me a car and left for the hour and a half drive to my hometown.
Alabama is truly a beautiful state. There are only two places in this entire country that make me feel so alive and full of hope. The first is my hometown and the second is New York City. I am from a very small town and the closer you get to it, the closer the trees start to get to the road. Your ass will be in a ditch with the quickness if you are not watching what you are doing. I stopped at a fish farm on the way to pick up some catfish and went grocery shopping. My grandmother can cook her ass off. My stomach was ready for some down home food since I landed. It was turning all kinds of flips. Damn, I really miss that home cooking. When I got to my grandmother's house no one was there except for my cousin Al.
Al is seven years younger than me and has truly turned out to be a handsome man. He is about 6'1, and 185lbs of solid muscle. He was in the front yard washing his car. For his high school graduation three years ago his father bought him a black Dodge Charger. Al has really fixed that car up. He has added rims, spoilers, front grill and all other types of enhancements that you see on every charger in the South. I am so proud of him. When we were kids I use to pick his ass up and sling him all across the room, throw him on the ground, pick with him while he was sleep, sticking my finger in his ear. I was a little terror to him and it was all because I was jealous. I was jealous that his skin was light, his hair was curly, and he had his father in his life. I was jealous because he was athletic and I wasn't. But I look at him now and am so proud. He handles his own business, works, goes to school and doesn't have any children yet. He drinks like I do and in 3 months he will turn 21 and be able to get his own alcohol. I pray that he doesn't take it too far like I do on occassion.
My grandmother and Al's mother (my favorite Auntie) had left to go grocery shopping. They showed up not too long later with all kinds of food. My grandmother has an old '94 Cadillac. She looked damn good driving it too. I love my granny so much! They too had bought some fish. When I go home its just like I never left. I slide right back into old routines and conversations with the family. My grandmother has the typical Southern woman's house. Old pictures everywhere, antique furniture, the works. Everyone shows up there eventually. My mother came bringing all her dramatics. She is so over the top. Pinching my cheeks, feeling my ass to see how much weight I gained, kissing me, etc.; just a mess. They cooked and I even chipped in and made a cake. Overcooked it while catching up with family but they ate it. If they didn't like it trust me, they would have told me. My family holds nothing back. I ate till my belly swelled up like a tick, and took my ass to sleep. Its hard to sleep there because my grandmother's house is always jumping with family, other children, noise, family friends. It doesn't start to calm down in there till around 10 o'clock at night. There is so much love in that house.
On Saturday, I got up and went to Denises' father's funeral to pay my respects. I had never met the man before. It was held at a small church. Denise is one of 14 children so it was packed in there. People gave such wonderful memories of the deceased. The boy's were so over! I am the type of person who cannot do funerals. I cry at the drop of a dime and this was no exception. I never could hold it together at funerals. Afterwards we ate like good old fools. Collard greens, turnip greens, mac and cheese, ribs, sweet potato pie, all the food we southerners enjoy. All the shit that will eventually clog up your arteries. I know how to cook all that shit being taught how to cook by my grandmother. One of these days I'm going to have to reprogram my mind on how to cook healthier. I left there to go visit my grandmother on my dad's side. She is 80 now with Alzheimer's. I learned that she had moved in with one of my aunts in a different county. So, I ended up visiting my one of my dad's oldest sisters and my favorite aunt on his side. The only thing different is now she has gray hair around her temples. We hugged for eternity and caught up with each other. I told her how hard life is for me trying to work, go to school, get loans for school and the whatnot. From the kindness of her heart she handed me a 100 dollar bill. I lost it again and cried. She told me if I needed anything just to let her know.
Sunday was a typical day. A huge breakfast and church all day being that it was Mother's Day. My pastor made me stand up at the end of service. He always embarrases me when I am home. A young man joined my church at this service. He was the graduating valedictorian of his class from my old high school. My pastor mentioned how the church has had several people to graduate with honors and happened to see me. Made me stand up and was like you graduated salutatorian didn't you. "Yes sir I did." He went on bragging then asked when would I finish. I told him December, everyone clapped. Then he said, "What year did you graduate high school?" "1999." I could collectively hear a gasp. Then he said, "Its been that long?" I could have crawled around in horse shit at that moment. After church, we ate once again and then went to a church singing. It was cute. There are so many gays in the church. There was this one directing the hell out of the choir. They sang they ass off. Then my pastor came on stage and sang one of my songs that always put me over the edge. Once again, I couldn't hold it together and broke out crying. My mom and grandmother were with me. My grandmother saw me going at it and she broke out in a shout. That just made me worse. My mother wasn't paying either of us any attention, lol. She not going to mess up her makeup.
Monday rolled around and it was time to go. I had a ball. It was so good seeing everyone. But, it was time to head back to DC for work and school.
This was once again suppose to be a payed trip courtesy of Denise, one of my family friends. The key word in that last sentence is suppose but it ended up coming out of my pocket. Her dad died the Sunday before I was scheduled to leave so I know her mind was elsewhere. Denise is the second black pharmacist I have ever met in my life. She's about 10 years older than me. We met when I worked for Rite Aide down in Montgomery, Alabama back in 2003. We hit it off instantly and have been good friends ever since. She has since then purchased a beautiful home, a nice Lincoln and even had a baby. Just like so many other professional black women she has trouble getting and keeping a man. We have had countless long conversations about that. As irony would have it she has started to come on to me. She and her sister came up for the inaguration and I noticed how close she was sitting to me and all the pictures she was getting of us together. I was so uncomfortable. Her sister finally told me what was going on and with me not wanting to hurt my good friends feelings I've kept quiet about it. Her sister has started calling me brother-in-law. Damn, bitch can't remember my name just that quick. I've had my share of pussy from back in the day but I can't ever imaging fucking Denise.
It was a calm 64 degrees when I left Baltimore. It was 87 fucking degrees when I landed in Birmingham. Having been away from home for as long as I have I am still having problems remembering what the weather is like there. As soon as I got off the plane walking down the little ramp to go claim my baggage every pore in my fucking body opened up and poured out gallons of sweat. I was so over it. I rented me a car and left for the hour and a half drive to my hometown.
Alabama is truly a beautiful state. There are only two places in this entire country that make me feel so alive and full of hope. The first is my hometown and the second is New York City. I am from a very small town and the closer you get to it, the closer the trees start to get to the road. Your ass will be in a ditch with the quickness if you are not watching what you are doing. I stopped at a fish farm on the way to pick up some catfish and went grocery shopping. My grandmother can cook her ass off. My stomach was ready for some down home food since I landed. It was turning all kinds of flips. Damn, I really miss that home cooking. When I got to my grandmother's house no one was there except for my cousin Al.
Al is seven years younger than me and has truly turned out to be a handsome man. He is about 6'1, and 185lbs of solid muscle. He was in the front yard washing his car. For his high school graduation three years ago his father bought him a black Dodge Charger. Al has really fixed that car up. He has added rims, spoilers, front grill and all other types of enhancements that you see on every charger in the South. I am so proud of him. When we were kids I use to pick his ass up and sling him all across the room, throw him on the ground, pick with him while he was sleep, sticking my finger in his ear. I was a little terror to him and it was all because I was jealous. I was jealous that his skin was light, his hair was curly, and he had his father in his life. I was jealous because he was athletic and I wasn't. But I look at him now and am so proud. He handles his own business, works, goes to school and doesn't have any children yet. He drinks like I do and in 3 months he will turn 21 and be able to get his own alcohol. I pray that he doesn't take it too far like I do on occassion.
My grandmother and Al's mother (my favorite Auntie) had left to go grocery shopping. They showed up not too long later with all kinds of food. My grandmother has an old '94 Cadillac. She looked damn good driving it too. I love my granny so much! They too had bought some fish. When I go home its just like I never left. I slide right back into old routines and conversations with the family. My grandmother has the typical Southern woman's house. Old pictures everywhere, antique furniture, the works. Everyone shows up there eventually. My mother came bringing all her dramatics. She is so over the top. Pinching my cheeks, feeling my ass to see how much weight I gained, kissing me, etc.; just a mess. They cooked and I even chipped in and made a cake. Overcooked it while catching up with family but they ate it. If they didn't like it trust me, they would have told me. My family holds nothing back. I ate till my belly swelled up like a tick, and took my ass to sleep. Its hard to sleep there because my grandmother's house is always jumping with family, other children, noise, family friends. It doesn't start to calm down in there till around 10 o'clock at night. There is so much love in that house.
On Saturday, I got up and went to Denises' father's funeral to pay my respects. I had never met the man before. It was held at a small church. Denise is one of 14 children so it was packed in there. People gave such wonderful memories of the deceased. The boy's were so over! I am the type of person who cannot do funerals. I cry at the drop of a dime and this was no exception. I never could hold it together at funerals. Afterwards we ate like good old fools. Collard greens, turnip greens, mac and cheese, ribs, sweet potato pie, all the food we southerners enjoy. All the shit that will eventually clog up your arteries. I know how to cook all that shit being taught how to cook by my grandmother. One of these days I'm going to have to reprogram my mind on how to cook healthier. I left there to go visit my grandmother on my dad's side. She is 80 now with Alzheimer's. I learned that she had moved in with one of my aunts in a different county. So, I ended up visiting my one of my dad's oldest sisters and my favorite aunt on his side. The only thing different is now she has gray hair around her temples. We hugged for eternity and caught up with each other. I told her how hard life is for me trying to work, go to school, get loans for school and the whatnot. From the kindness of her heart she handed me a 100 dollar bill. I lost it again and cried. She told me if I needed anything just to let her know.
Sunday was a typical day. A huge breakfast and church all day being that it was Mother's Day. My pastor made me stand up at the end of service. He always embarrases me when I am home. A young man joined my church at this service. He was the graduating valedictorian of his class from my old high school. My pastor mentioned how the church has had several people to graduate with honors and happened to see me. Made me stand up and was like you graduated salutatorian didn't you. "Yes sir I did." He went on bragging then asked when would I finish. I told him December, everyone clapped. Then he said, "What year did you graduate high school?" "1999." I could collectively hear a gasp. Then he said, "Its been that long?" I could have crawled around in horse shit at that moment. After church, we ate once again and then went to a church singing. It was cute. There are so many gays in the church. There was this one directing the hell out of the choir. They sang they ass off. Then my pastor came on stage and sang one of my songs that always put me over the edge. Once again, I couldn't hold it together and broke out crying. My mom and grandmother were with me. My grandmother saw me going at it and she broke out in a shout. That just made me worse. My mother wasn't paying either of us any attention, lol. She not going to mess up her makeup.
Monday rolled around and it was time to go. I had a ball. It was so good seeing everyone. But, it was time to head back to DC for work and school.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The African
Hello All!!! I find myself with another day to myself. No school, no work so I decided to stay home (I'm on a budget, pray for me), and catch up on my blog/diary.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've found myself in the company of bottoms. From my trade bottom, drug dealer bottom and another bottom I've been fucking with over a year or so, I've been slinging some dick. With the rising temperature here, I found myself needing a good fucking. So, I went out and found some dick.
Met this African trade. 6'4", 22 years old. Based on just his height and nationality, I knew I would get my inner freak fed and some more. I invited him over last night. He showed up dressed like he just left the club. He had on his fitted and the typical baggy clothes these boys wear. He came in and took his shoes off at the door. (There is only 1 reason for me to be on my hands and knees and it is not to clean carpet!) He plopped down on my couch while I went and fixed me a drink. I offered him something and he asked what did I have. I said soda. (Henny if for me and me only). I joined him on the couch and we chatted a bit while watching the Color Purple on TV One. The Color Purple is my second favorite movie of all time, right behind Whats Love Got to Do With It. He excussed himself to the bathroom returning with his jeans unzipped. I layed my head on his chest and soon the whore in me kicked in. My hand somehow found its way into his open zipper to feel his dick. It instantly jumped to attention. (Being 22 has its benefits, lol). I didn't waste no time pulling it out. And I was surprised!!!!!!
I held in my hand a 7 no more than 7.5 inch hard dick! I thought, "O hell naw!" I was bout to kick his ass out. What am I going to do with that, I thought. Other than his height he had another physical characteristic that drew me to him. I am a sucker for dark skin. He has that beautiful black pearl skin that my trade bottom also has. I found myself gently rubbing my fingers on his skin in total awe and amazement. I put my head game to work. He was cheesing like a muthafucka. He pulled me off and said, "Ride it"
I dont beleive in taking my clothes off for less than 8 inches. But I thought, what the hell, my body needs a good fucking. Grabbed the lube and condoms and got into posistion. Riding dick is not a position I like. I can't remember the last time I rode some dick. Put me on my stomach, or back. Those are my favorites. Climbed on and went to work. I grabbed both sides of the chest and tried to beat the hell of of him. First for coming here with a little dick and second for asking me to ride it! Soon, I found myself actually enjoying the moment. I got the chance to watch his facial epressions and he was in pure ectasy. Mouth hanging open, altered breathing, all that shit. Or maybe he was having a seizure!? Anyway, I gave my inner freak a little more space. I leaned back put my hands on his thighs and rode that dick like I was lip-synching for my life!!! But that muthafucka had plans of his own. This 6"4' muthafucka, black pearl skinned muthafucka, little dick African muthafucka, picked me up, flipped me on my back, all without missing a beat. Dick stayed in place the whole time. (Now thats a true skill for a little dicked muthafucka). Pinned my muthafucking legs down and beat it down. I was so over it. I broke out in a sweat. Looked down and found my own dick leaking like a fucking faucet. He got this sly look on his face and brought it home. We cleaned up, he got dressed and sat on the arm of my couch in all of his glory waiting for me to calm my chipper ass down. He knew he had me.
We exhcanged more pleasantries. He gave me a hug and squeezed my ass. His phone rang as he was walking out the door. As with any other one night stand, he said he'd "get up with me." LOL, heard it before. Anyway, I found myself reflecting on my moment of bliss. I am still feeling good. Went to bed wet. Whether I see him again or not this expereice was one for the record book. Some people are forgettable but this one wasn't, little dick and all. He is one of a very few who can still get it working with what he has. I consulted about my experience with one of the elders of the gay community. I didn't understand why the sex was as good as it was given the "little" problem. He said something that made alot of sense. He said, "Child, a man with a little dick already knows he has alot to prove. He knows you've had bigger. But he has to quickly learn how to work with what he has if he wants to continue to get layed and stay in this game. Little dicked men will do whatever it takes to make sure his partner is satisfied, from using his tongue to toys or whatever. They don't talk all that shit we usually hear. They let the dick do the talking, but thats only if they are totally secure with what they are working with."
Well, let me say, this muthafucka is totally secure and more!!! He can always get it! Until next time.....Peace
Over the past couple of weeks, I've found myself in the company of bottoms. From my trade bottom, drug dealer bottom and another bottom I've been fucking with over a year or so, I've been slinging some dick. With the rising temperature here, I found myself needing a good fucking. So, I went out and found some dick.
Met this African trade. 6'4", 22 years old. Based on just his height and nationality, I knew I would get my inner freak fed and some more. I invited him over last night. He showed up dressed like he just left the club. He had on his fitted and the typical baggy clothes these boys wear. He came in and took his shoes off at the door. (There is only 1 reason for me to be on my hands and knees and it is not to clean carpet!) He plopped down on my couch while I went and fixed me a drink. I offered him something and he asked what did I have. I said soda. (Henny if for me and me only). I joined him on the couch and we chatted a bit while watching the Color Purple on TV One. The Color Purple is my second favorite movie of all time, right behind Whats Love Got to Do With It. He excussed himself to the bathroom returning with his jeans unzipped. I layed my head on his chest and soon the whore in me kicked in. My hand somehow found its way into his open zipper to feel his dick. It instantly jumped to attention. (Being 22 has its benefits, lol). I didn't waste no time pulling it out. And I was surprised!!!!!!
I held in my hand a 7 no more than 7.5 inch hard dick! I thought, "O hell naw!" I was bout to kick his ass out. What am I going to do with that, I thought. Other than his height he had another physical characteristic that drew me to him. I am a sucker for dark skin. He has that beautiful black pearl skin that my trade bottom also has. I found myself gently rubbing my fingers on his skin in total awe and amazement. I put my head game to work. He was cheesing like a muthafucka. He pulled me off and said, "Ride it"
I dont beleive in taking my clothes off for less than 8 inches. But I thought, what the hell, my body needs a good fucking. Grabbed the lube and condoms and got into posistion. Riding dick is not a position I like. I can't remember the last time I rode some dick. Put me on my stomach, or back. Those are my favorites. Climbed on and went to work. I grabbed both sides of the chest and tried to beat the hell of of him. First for coming here with a little dick and second for asking me to ride it! Soon, I found myself actually enjoying the moment. I got the chance to watch his facial epressions and he was in pure ectasy. Mouth hanging open, altered breathing, all that shit. Or maybe he was having a seizure!? Anyway, I gave my inner freak a little more space. I leaned back put my hands on his thighs and rode that dick like I was lip-synching for my life!!! But that muthafucka had plans of his own. This 6"4' muthafucka, black pearl skinned muthafucka, little dick African muthafucka, picked me up, flipped me on my back, all without missing a beat. Dick stayed in place the whole time. (Now thats a true skill for a little dicked muthafucka). Pinned my muthafucking legs down and beat it down. I was so over it. I broke out in a sweat. Looked down and found my own dick leaking like a fucking faucet. He got this sly look on his face and brought it home. We cleaned up, he got dressed and sat on the arm of my couch in all of his glory waiting for me to calm my chipper ass down. He knew he had me.
We exhcanged more pleasantries. He gave me a hug and squeezed my ass. His phone rang as he was walking out the door. As with any other one night stand, he said he'd "get up with me." LOL, heard it before. Anyway, I found myself reflecting on my moment of bliss. I am still feeling good. Went to bed wet. Whether I see him again or not this expereice was one for the record book. Some people are forgettable but this one wasn't, little dick and all. He is one of a very few who can still get it working with what he has. I consulted about my experience with one of the elders of the gay community. I didn't understand why the sex was as good as it was given the "little" problem. He said something that made alot of sense. He said, "Child, a man with a little dick already knows he has alot to prove. He knows you've had bigger. But he has to quickly learn how to work with what he has if he wants to continue to get layed and stay in this game. Little dicked men will do whatever it takes to make sure his partner is satisfied, from using his tongue to toys or whatever. They don't talk all that shit we usually hear. They let the dick do the talking, but thats only if they are totally secure with what they are working with."
Well, let me say, this muthafucka is totally secure and more!!! He can always get it! Until next time.....Peace
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
BET's College Hill/CVS Pharmacy Service
Hello All!!! I miss blogging so much. Its been such a relief to get shit off my mind. I got so much to talk about with so little time. Have you all been watching College Hill South Beach. It is the key-keeyy!!! Honey, that faggot thing on there named Kyle has been reading them bitches hard. Reminds me of how I use to act when I was 16 and 17. I use to go off with the quickness back then. Every now and then, I change right back into that younger me, lol.
Anyway, if you haven't been watching it, one of the bitches named Katherine ate some ribs Kyle cooked for himself. She waited till he fell asleep and took his shit. I was pissed for him. He read her so hard that I screamed for joy. YESSSSSS. Kyle has been reading since the first episode. I give him major props. You got to let it be known cause people will run all over you if you let them. People smell weakness.
For example, our district manager was at work today with everyone walking around on pins and needles. Not me! I have one degree and am now working on a doctorate. Fire me!!! I don't really give a damn. You can take a job but you can't take knowledge. I learned from my days at Wal-Mart. They can tell when you really need a job and will work the hell out of you knowing you can't really take being jobless. Not me. After I got my bachelor's degree, I let it be known when I was recruited what my expectations were and what I was going to do. You see, with a simple piece of paper, that says I graduated magna cum laude with a B.S. in Biology I can write my own way. From that point on, I never worried about a job. Shit, I was recruited for a change!!! I had people wanting to hire me!!!! They looked for me!!!! CVS asked me to work for them. I never even filled out a fucking application for that job. I showed up and they started training me.
Anyway, the pharmacist left to go on a lunch break. The bitch was gone all of 5 minutes before some old bitch started complaining about where the fuck is her prescription. She started with Ms. Edith who is a sweetheart. She complained about how she was told it was going to take an hour to fill and its already been an hour. Our computer system keeps count of how long its been since a prescription has been put in to be processed. I took a look and it had been 25 minutes. Now granted I don't believe it should take more than 15 minutes to fill any prescription. Thats my belief. I am not the pharmacist yet so I have to play by the rules of the supervising pharmacist and she believes in 45 minutes to an hour for a prescription. At that point though, she was on a break and by federal law, a prescription is not to leave a pharmacy without a licensed pharmacist there to check the prescription and be available for questioning. The lady's prescription was ready and basically waiting to be checked by the pharmacist.
I informed Ms. Edith of the situation. Ms. Edith informed the customer who continuted to rant and rave about her prescription. At first I ignored it but I truly have a soft spot for my coworkers. I can't leave them out there hanging by themselves. I know each of their situations and with me being born in my situation and having worked my way up from the bottom, I have been in situations where I could not say something based on what might happen. Since I have a degree to back me up, I am free to do as I please. I said, "Ms. Edith, ask her if she wants her prescription back so she can go somewhere else and wait again or do she wanna sit down and wait for our pharmacist to check it?" The bitch shut the fuck up and sat down. Case solved. People, it is not that serious. We were 3 people short and are a very busy place. We fill over 500 prescriptions a day!
So, of course the district manager heard everything that went on. He fixed his face and mouth to say, "We do not ask our customers if they want their prescription back." Thats when my other side showed up and my neck turned around so fast. I said, "Our pharmacist is on a break. Do you want me to check it? There is nothing Ms. Edith or myself can do when the pharmacist is on a break. She is the only person in this store licensed to do that". He pulls that Uncle Tom shit saying we can pull the pharmacist off her break to check a prescription. O no hell!! I hope he don't expect that shit from me cause he and that customer will be out of fucking luck! I know he didn't expect me to walk to the breakroom and get the pharmacist. This is Washington, District of fucking Columbia. There are over 600,000 residents in this city. We are busy from the time we open until we close. I continued doing what I was doing after my little chat with the DM. Ms. Edith had a little smirk on her face and she silently mouthed, "Thank you".
I know that people chooses different paths to take in life. I know everyone is not cut out to go to college or have extreme circumstances that prevent them from doing so. I watched my grandparents and parents work hard for just enough to get by. My grandmother has never had a brand new car in her life. Did you hear me, IN HER LIFE!!!! Honey, I am made out of something different from the average nigga. I am not the smartest bitch in the bunch but I have an undying faith in the man above and a willpower to match. I refuse to be treated like a piece of shit. I refuse to be pushed around. Either beat my ass or get out the way! I always knew I would have a job where shit would be done my way. And I am truly happy to know that if I want to walk the fuck out of my job, I can do that and not have one single regret or worry. I will have a degree this coming December in a field where there is a critical shortage. And based on current statistics, that shortage is to last thorough 2030. 20 fucking 30. That gives me the opportunity to pick wherever the fuck I wanna go. That puts my skills in demand. This has been a long and hard road but truly worth it.
Any other bitch would have been written up for telling a customer they can go elsewhere. I still don't have one single writeup in my file after 5 yeras of service. Thank you God, Alabama A&M University, and finally Howard University. HU!!!!
Anyway, if you haven't been watching it, one of the bitches named Katherine ate some ribs Kyle cooked for himself. She waited till he fell asleep and took his shit. I was pissed for him. He read her so hard that I screamed for joy. YESSSSSS. Kyle has been reading since the first episode. I give him major props. You got to let it be known cause people will run all over you if you let them. People smell weakness.
For example, our district manager was at work today with everyone walking around on pins and needles. Not me! I have one degree and am now working on a doctorate. Fire me!!! I don't really give a damn. You can take a job but you can't take knowledge. I learned from my days at Wal-Mart. They can tell when you really need a job and will work the hell out of you knowing you can't really take being jobless. Not me. After I got my bachelor's degree, I let it be known when I was recruited what my expectations were and what I was going to do. You see, with a simple piece of paper, that says I graduated magna cum laude with a B.S. in Biology I can write my own way. From that point on, I never worried about a job. Shit, I was recruited for a change!!! I had people wanting to hire me!!!! They looked for me!!!! CVS asked me to work for them. I never even filled out a fucking application for that job. I showed up and they started training me.
Anyway, the pharmacist left to go on a lunch break. The bitch was gone all of 5 minutes before some old bitch started complaining about where the fuck is her prescription. She started with Ms. Edith who is a sweetheart. She complained about how she was told it was going to take an hour to fill and its already been an hour. Our computer system keeps count of how long its been since a prescription has been put in to be processed. I took a look and it had been 25 minutes. Now granted I don't believe it should take more than 15 minutes to fill any prescription. Thats my belief. I am not the pharmacist yet so I have to play by the rules of the supervising pharmacist and she believes in 45 minutes to an hour for a prescription. At that point though, she was on a break and by federal law, a prescription is not to leave a pharmacy without a licensed pharmacist there to check the prescription and be available for questioning. The lady's prescription was ready and basically waiting to be checked by the pharmacist.
I informed Ms. Edith of the situation. Ms. Edith informed the customer who continuted to rant and rave about her prescription. At first I ignored it but I truly have a soft spot for my coworkers. I can't leave them out there hanging by themselves. I know each of their situations and with me being born in my situation and having worked my way up from the bottom, I have been in situations where I could not say something based on what might happen. Since I have a degree to back me up, I am free to do as I please. I said, "Ms. Edith, ask her if she wants her prescription back so she can go somewhere else and wait again or do she wanna sit down and wait for our pharmacist to check it?" The bitch shut the fuck up and sat down. Case solved. People, it is not that serious. We were 3 people short and are a very busy place. We fill over 500 prescriptions a day!
So, of course the district manager heard everything that went on. He fixed his face and mouth to say, "We do not ask our customers if they want their prescription back." Thats when my other side showed up and my neck turned around so fast. I said, "Our pharmacist is on a break. Do you want me to check it? There is nothing Ms. Edith or myself can do when the pharmacist is on a break. She is the only person in this store licensed to do that". He pulls that Uncle Tom shit saying we can pull the pharmacist off her break to check a prescription. O no hell!! I hope he don't expect that shit from me cause he and that customer will be out of fucking luck! I know he didn't expect me to walk to the breakroom and get the pharmacist. This is Washington, District of fucking Columbia. There are over 600,000 residents in this city. We are busy from the time we open until we close. I continued doing what I was doing after my little chat with the DM. Ms. Edith had a little smirk on her face and she silently mouthed, "Thank you".
I know that people chooses different paths to take in life. I know everyone is not cut out to go to college or have extreme circumstances that prevent them from doing so. I watched my grandparents and parents work hard for just enough to get by. My grandmother has never had a brand new car in her life. Did you hear me, IN HER LIFE!!!! Honey, I am made out of something different from the average nigga. I am not the smartest bitch in the bunch but I have an undying faith in the man above and a willpower to match. I refuse to be treated like a piece of shit. I refuse to be pushed around. Either beat my ass or get out the way! I always knew I would have a job where shit would be done my way. And I am truly happy to know that if I want to walk the fuck out of my job, I can do that and not have one single regret or worry. I will have a degree this coming December in a field where there is a critical shortage. And based on current statistics, that shortage is to last thorough 2030. 20 fucking 30. That gives me the opportunity to pick wherever the fuck I wanna go. That puts my skills in demand. This has been a long and hard road but truly worth it.
Any other bitch would have been written up for telling a customer they can go elsewhere. I still don't have one single writeup in my file after 5 yeras of service. Thank you God, Alabama A&M University, and finally Howard University. HU!!!!
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