Sebastian, mama Diamond and I went out to eat back on February 13th. Diamond and Sebastian had been out all day shopping for Sebastian's new apartment. I don't know how that bitch did it. She partied with me the night before and when I say she partied she par-tayed. When she dropped me off at home the night before I fell in the bed.
When Diamond called me the next morning I promptly ignored the call, rolled my ass back over and went back to sleep. Around 1PM I called her back to find out that she and Sebastian had been out all day. They were getting ready to get something to eat and wanted to know if I wanted to go. Since I hadn't been anywhere all day I agreed. It took those bitches 2 hours to come scoop me and I was mad as hell. Since they were taking so long I decided to take my ass to Five Guys. I was starving. While I was talking to Diamond about what was taking them so damn long I hear Sebastian in the background going off. I was so over it.
They finally did come and we went to IHOP. It was a cute outing. Since I was so hungry I ordered alot of food. Of course Diamnond's fat ass was the first to finish her meal. She was sitting directly across from me. As I was eating my meal that bitch inhales and then exhales blowing her breath directly across the table into my face. I felt like throwing the fuck up.
That shit was so nasty. Now, her breath was fresh but still why would anyone do that? After that I didn't want anything else to eat. What kind of shit is that? Now I know her mother taught her better!!!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Cabin Fever!!!!
If I was a writer, I would be one broke bitch!
It has been over a month since last speaking with my bloggers! But over the last couple of days so much has gone on that I just have to spill the beans. It has been snowing here in the district and last Friday (the 12th) made a week of snow, snow, snow. You all know that I am a southerner and this winter shit does not mix well with me!
This is a shot of my neighborhood. I have lived in this area now for 5 years this month and I never bothered to buy a snow shovel. It really never snowed that much here. But with this last snow fall, records were broken. You should have seen my ass outside with a mop bucket and a dust pan trying to scoop that shit off my car. It took me forever but I finally did dig it out. I tried to find a snow shovel but no luck. Bastards!
So as you can see, I soon developed a bad case of cabin fever. By Thursday I was ready to party but had to take my ass back inside because my car was blocked by snow again. Friday morning I got up and moved all the snow because I knew I was going somewhere before the night was over.
I had been speaking with this Jamaican guy I met last year. Over the year we have kept in touch and he told me he would be in the DC area over the weekend and wanted to hook up. He's tall, around 6'2" just like I like them but has one of the most fucked up personalities I've ever encountered. He's one of those aggressive dominant type guys which is a major turnoff for me. He sent me a text message asking can he watch me fuck myself with a dildo. What?? Are you crazy?? Then he ask can he bring someone else?? I am not your personal fuck toy!!!!! So Friday evening I get another text that says, "I wanna fuck." Before I got that message I was truly over it. When it popped up I responded back, "Get a dildo."
As I was preparing for a night on the town, he called and I agreed to meet him for a bit. He came over and we chatted for a bit. The recession has hit him too and he said he was currently self-employed which means unemployed to me. So we of course fell into old habits. He has a beautiful piece of uncut meat. Probably about 8 inches but thick and dangerous. Very verbal guy which works my fucking nerves. Don't be asking me questions when I got a mouthful of dick! So everything was going good until he got a little carried away and tried to pick me up and force me over the back of my couch and shoving his dick at the same time. After that situation I stopped all the damn presses, gave him a handjob and told him I was leaving to go out soon.
He was disappointed but I explained to him that dick doesn't have to be forced. Ass and pussy are two different things and I don't care how much lube you put, that hole is not going to open until its good and relaxed. His ass played dumb like he couldn't understand that concept so he had to go. I'll be goddamned to ever end up in a hospital trying to explain how I ripped my ass open!
He left and I hooked up with my best friend Sebastian for a night on the town. I had decided earlier we were going down to Zeigfield's to catch a drag show then go upstairs to see the strippers. Sebastian had never been and I knew he was in for a memorable night. Its not one of my favorite spots here but its cute. The strippers are OVAH!! Unfortunately it was closed due to the snow storm from earlier in the week and I was highly upset.
So we ended up at the Mill. For me the only time to go to the Mill is on a Thursday when they are playing my house music. House is a quickly dying form of music and if the good lord above ever allows me to open a nightclub I am going to breath some new life into house music. I absolutely love it and will proceed to loose my mind if a good beat comes on! Sebastian partied her ass off. That bitch had gotten us some strong Mill drinks from the absolute worst bartender. I told that bitch a long time ago to never go to this particular bartender but she marched her ass over there and brought back some drinks. I sipped mine and she proceeded to guzzle hers down. She was soon out there on the dance floor flipping it, twirling it and dropping it like its hot. I told her about those damn drinks. She was killing it and that's so out of her character. I tried to get into the party mood but just couldn't. Another blogger was there, Q who has the best blog of all DC--The Purveyor of All Things. I was in shock to see him there because we all know that he does not party with the black girls. He looked absolutely fabulous, his skin was giving me recent microderm abrasion. He wasn't there long. As I was dropping it on a Beyonce beat he was hugging everyone goodbye. He couldn't have been there for more than 20 minutes.
So the night quickly came to a close and I still had that empty feeling. I went out to try and get rid of my Cabin fever but once I stepped back over the threshold of my apartment that fever followed me inside. So I started to make plans for Saturday night.
It has been over a month since last speaking with my bloggers! But over the last couple of days so much has gone on that I just have to spill the beans. It has been snowing here in the district and last Friday (the 12th) made a week of snow, snow, snow. You all know that I am a southerner and this winter shit does not mix well with me!
This is a shot of my neighborhood. I have lived in this area now for 5 years this month and I never bothered to buy a snow shovel. It really never snowed that much here. But with this last snow fall, records were broken. You should have seen my ass outside with a mop bucket and a dust pan trying to scoop that shit off my car. It took me forever but I finally did dig it out. I tried to find a snow shovel but no luck. Bastards!
So as you can see, I soon developed a bad case of cabin fever. By Thursday I was ready to party but had to take my ass back inside because my car was blocked by snow again. Friday morning I got up and moved all the snow because I knew I was going somewhere before the night was over.
I had been speaking with this Jamaican guy I met last year. Over the year we have kept in touch and he told me he would be in the DC area over the weekend and wanted to hook up. He's tall, around 6'2" just like I like them but has one of the most fucked up personalities I've ever encountered. He's one of those aggressive dominant type guys which is a major turnoff for me. He sent me a text message asking can he watch me fuck myself with a dildo. What?? Are you crazy?? Then he ask can he bring someone else?? I am not your personal fuck toy!!!!! So Friday evening I get another text that says, "I wanna fuck." Before I got that message I was truly over it. When it popped up I responded back, "Get a dildo."
As I was preparing for a night on the town, he called and I agreed to meet him for a bit. He came over and we chatted for a bit. The recession has hit him too and he said he was currently self-employed which means unemployed to me. So we of course fell into old habits. He has a beautiful piece of uncut meat. Probably about 8 inches but thick and dangerous. Very verbal guy which works my fucking nerves. Don't be asking me questions when I got a mouthful of dick! So everything was going good until he got a little carried away and tried to pick me up and force me over the back of my couch and shoving his dick at the same time. After that situation I stopped all the damn presses, gave him a handjob and told him I was leaving to go out soon.
He was disappointed but I explained to him that dick doesn't have to be forced. Ass and pussy are two different things and I don't care how much lube you put, that hole is not going to open until its good and relaxed. His ass played dumb like he couldn't understand that concept so he had to go. I'll be goddamned to ever end up in a hospital trying to explain how I ripped my ass open!
He left and I hooked up with my best friend Sebastian for a night on the town. I had decided earlier we were going down to Zeigfield's to catch a drag show then go upstairs to see the strippers. Sebastian had never been and I knew he was in for a memorable night. Its not one of my favorite spots here but its cute. The strippers are OVAH!! Unfortunately it was closed due to the snow storm from earlier in the week and I was highly upset.
So we ended up at the Mill. For me the only time to go to the Mill is on a Thursday when they are playing my house music. House is a quickly dying form of music and if the good lord above ever allows me to open a nightclub I am going to breath some new life into house music. I absolutely love it and will proceed to loose my mind if a good beat comes on! Sebastian partied her ass off. That bitch had gotten us some strong Mill drinks from the absolute worst bartender. I told that bitch a long time ago to never go to this particular bartender but she marched her ass over there and brought back some drinks. I sipped mine and she proceeded to guzzle hers down. She was soon out there on the dance floor flipping it, twirling it and dropping it like its hot. I told her about those damn drinks. She was killing it and that's so out of her character. I tried to get into the party mood but just couldn't. Another blogger was there, Q who has the best blog of all DC--The Purveyor of All Things. I was in shock to see him there because we all know that he does not party with the black girls. He looked absolutely fabulous, his skin was giving me recent microderm abrasion. He wasn't there long. As I was dropping it on a Beyonce beat he was hugging everyone goodbye. He couldn't have been there for more than 20 minutes.
So the night quickly came to a close and I still had that empty feeling. I went out to try and get rid of my Cabin fever but once I stepped back over the threshold of my apartment that fever followed me inside. So I started to make plans for Saturday night.
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