So, I followed Tarrus back to his apartment. Or what I thought was his apartment. He grabs some bags out of the truck he was driving and engages my help in bringing them up to the apartment. I am in no way a bag mover unless it has something inside showing proof of purchase. Other than that I am a director, I will tell you where you can put that other shit. On the way up he explains that his "roommate" is inside and we will have to be quiet. He also ask if it is ok to go back to my place. I oblige in his requests and due to being beat from all that dancing and having several Mill drinks I was in a very good mood. We were inside for all of five minutes. He packs a bag and we are off again.
We get back outside and he follows me to my car. This is where my brain wakes the fuck up. "Um, aren't you going to take your truck so you will have a way back", I ask. He says that is his roommates truck and don't worry he know how to catch the metro. We are in Arlington, Va and I live in Mt. Rainier, MD. I chuckle to myself cause I know it is going to be hell for him to get home from my side. But I'll be goddamed if I'm taking him back. So, we get to my place and do the do. The dick was just as cute as he is. Long and thick, points down a bit. But the experience wasn't what I expected. While laying there, looking at the ceiling, I thought, "Wow another big dicked muthafucka who has no idea what he is doing," After laying there taking more pain than pleasure I hurry up and bust to get him off me. (Hell, even when he was eatting me out it hurt). I knew that it wasn't going to get any better for me no matter how much he kept repeating, "This sum good ass, this some good ass, this some good ass!" YAWN. I helped him get a nut, went to wash up and before I could get back with a towel for his ass he is fast asleep! I lay there watching him sleep and something in me began to stir. Even with the bad sex somehow I seemed to have enjoyed myself. I lay there confused and drift off to sleep.
I wake up to trade saying, "Whats for breakfast?" I said nothing, I gotta go to school for four hours so you are going to have to leave. He gives me a hug and says he'll be waiting. Truly, I didn't want to leave him here but that same thing that was pulling at me before I went to sleep gave me a reassuring pat saying its only for four hours. I left out of here with everything that meant something to me. Wallet, checkbook, pictures, nikels, dimes, and pennies. I just knew all of my shit was going to be gone and I wouldn't have a phone number or address to track it back down. I went to school on pins and needles and could not concentrate on the tasks I was given. I couldnt drive back home fast enough when school was out. And he was still here, playing some damn video game on my computer and watching tv. He smiles and gives me a hug. For some odd reason I am immediately put at ease. I cook us a breakfast of pancakes, eggs, sausage, and bacon. I am so ready for him to go so I can find my next peice of trade. But something is drawing me to him, we have common interests and thoughts. He has a brain and a dick. He is able to carry on intellectual conversations. He knows who Phyllis Hyman is!
I find out that he is 9 years older than me, has a twenty-five year old son (if you do the math you will find out that he was twelve years old when this child was born, two days before his thirteenth b'day) and a five year old grandson. He has fallen on hard times. Due to the recession, he lost his six figure salary job, mercedes, and condo. He is staying with a "friend" who is "helping him out." We hang out everyday and have been doing that for three weeks now. I know that friend in Virginia is his lover or soon to be ex-lover no matter how much he denies it or maybe I just want something to show he is just like the others- a liar. He has started to say he loves me. How can that be after three weeks of knowing someone? Hell, I rarely use those words on family members. He gives me what little money he can and we really seem to be enjoying each others company.
I am being blinded by that strange feeling you get when a simple touch of the skin can send shivers down your back. I pray to God that I am not being used and taken advantage of. I am trying my best to give this guy a chance and also give myself a chance of further healing. I even swore off getting dicked down from anyone else. My trade bottom has been calling, the mailman wants some more, the jamaican, even the army captain gave me a call. I told them all I was involved with someone. That was hard, especially for my trade bottom.
What can I do? All I know is to watch my back and not to become so blinded that I let him run all over me and take advantage of my kindness. I guess I'll just have to take it a day at a time.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
A strange place
Hello All!!! Sorry about such a lapse in my blogging. The sun has came out and so has the boys. In all of my glory I welcomed the sunshine with open arms. It was time to play. You know how people take their problems to the altar? I take mine to the dancefloor. But in that process I found myself is a strange but yet familiar place, a relationship. GASP!!! Yes, I said it. But trust it was not something I set out to find. It found me.
I was involved in an abusive relationship a little over three years ago. That time scarred me mentally and physically and yes I still have the marks to prove it. It took me a long time to put myself back together again. I suffered in silence. The devil sure knows how to kick someone when they are down. I allowed myself to be in harms way for eight long months before I woke up. It took me another eight months to build up the courage to show face again. I vowed to never go through that again and knock on wood, I haven't since.
But that relationship put every other one in a bad spot. I trusted no one but my good good friends and was quick to get my fuck on and discard a person like yesterday's trash. I made it a point to not get feelings involved with sex. I soon found that within a week of meeting someone their name would be forgotten along with the experience. And I have been blissfully happy with that arrangement.
On May 28th, I found myself on the dancefloor at the legendary Bachelor's Mill. It was a couple of days after Black Pride so the place was still packed and full of life. The house music was serving the beats, and I was on the dancefloor working it out. Anyone who has been to the Mill knows that as the people come in so does the heat. I took a break from dancing to go get some air. I came back in and decided to check out the little space they reserve for hip-hop music. The trade in there were so over. Believe it or not I am a shy person. I never have the balls to walk up to someone and ask to dance. Some song came on that I liked and I found myself on the dancefloor dropping it like its hot. (I so have my Alex from Noah's Arc moments, remember when Noah took Wade to the gay club and his friends followed without him knowing? And Alex was like that's my song!)
In the process of shaking it, this brother comes up to dance with me. He's about 5'10", chocolate, somewhat muscular, bald head. Cute, I thought. We hit it off and had fun. We chatted and I figured that would be the end of that. I heard another beat in the House music side and left to go put it down some more. He followed and we danced up a storm there. The night came to an end and he asked me to follow him back to his apartment. I knew where that was leading but after such a night I said, what the hell??
I was involved in an abusive relationship a little over three years ago. That time scarred me mentally and physically and yes I still have the marks to prove it. It took me a long time to put myself back together again. I suffered in silence. The devil sure knows how to kick someone when they are down. I allowed myself to be in harms way for eight long months before I woke up. It took me another eight months to build up the courage to show face again. I vowed to never go through that again and knock on wood, I haven't since.
But that relationship put every other one in a bad spot. I trusted no one but my good good friends and was quick to get my fuck on and discard a person like yesterday's trash. I made it a point to not get feelings involved with sex. I soon found that within a week of meeting someone their name would be forgotten along with the experience. And I have been blissfully happy with that arrangement.
On May 28th, I found myself on the dancefloor at the legendary Bachelor's Mill. It was a couple of days after Black Pride so the place was still packed and full of life. The house music was serving the beats, and I was on the dancefloor working it out. Anyone who has been to the Mill knows that as the people come in so does the heat. I took a break from dancing to go get some air. I came back in and decided to check out the little space they reserve for hip-hop music. The trade in there were so over. Believe it or not I am a shy person. I never have the balls to walk up to someone and ask to dance. Some song came on that I liked and I found myself on the dancefloor dropping it like its hot. (I so have my Alex from Noah's Arc moments, remember when Noah took Wade to the gay club and his friends followed without him knowing? And Alex was like that's my song!)
In the process of shaking it, this brother comes up to dance with me. He's about 5'10", chocolate, somewhat muscular, bald head. Cute, I thought. We hit it off and had fun. We chatted and I figured that would be the end of that. I heard another beat in the House music side and left to go put it down some more. He followed and we danced up a storm there. The night came to an end and he asked me to follow him back to his apartment. I knew where that was leading but after such a night I said, what the hell??
Friday, June 5, 2009
Fast Forward
Hello All!!! Been trying my best to catch up on these posts. Where shall I start?
Court. I went to court in Arlington May 18 because of my wreckless driving ticket. I was leaving this cute piece of spanish trade house and on cloud nine. How was I suppose to know I was driving over 90 miles per hour?? So in Virginia, if you are driving 20 miles or more over the speed limit its wreckless and a misdemeanor punishable with up to 12 months in jail, a $2,500 fee plus $61 in court fees. I came to court looking o so fabulous. I plead guilty with an explanation. I didn't say anything about leaving the trade's house but I did mention being tired and apologized to "all of the citizens of the commonwealth for putting them in danger." The judge has involuntarily enrolled me in driving school the first three Wednesdays in June and collected 200 coins from me. I have final sentencing on August 4th.
I met a 6'5" mailman and did the do with him. More on him later.
DC Pride. I have made a conscious decision to avoid all pride activities for the last 2 years due to it just being so out of the norm for DC activities. This year I made an exception. I needed to let off some steam. I started my activities on Friday at the Fireplace over in Dupont Circle. It was packed to the brim with a line outside. Who stands in line to get into the Fireplace??!! That place has always been on the "bottom" of my party list but the drinks are cheap and definitely do the trick. I first ran into a couple of trannies outside who wished me a Happy Pride. Then this spanish queen tried to get my number at the traffic light as I was trying to cross P street. Then I saw my friend Ronald who gave me a big hug and we caught up with each other while standing in line. Auuuggh, a line at the Fireplace?? Finally got inside and gave them my coins. It was so packed I couldnt even get to the bar. So I checked out the boys. It was cute. Saw this Sigma dude I use to fuck with. He ruined my evening, stalking my ass. After I got tired of him I left. This muthafucka is still texting me, and calling me to this day. So damn desperate. I hate that shit.
I left the Fireplace and went to the legendary Bachelor's Mill. I know it is not the most fabulous place in DC but it turns it every now and then for me. It was jammed packed and I danced my ass off. I sweated like I had played in a NBA championship game. I met some cute boys, and got the numbers of course.
On Saturday, I got up and did some shopping. H&M, Urban Outfitters, American Eagle, etc. I'm not much of a shoe person. I did try to find some shoes but as usual I left empty handed on shoes. I saw this trade at the shoe store. Thats probably the reason why I couldnt find shoes, I was too busy looking at him, lol
Court. I went to court in Arlington May 18 because of my wreckless driving ticket. I was leaving this cute piece of spanish trade house and on cloud nine. How was I suppose to know I was driving over 90 miles per hour?? So in Virginia, if you are driving 20 miles or more over the speed limit its wreckless and a misdemeanor punishable with up to 12 months in jail, a $2,500 fee plus $61 in court fees. I came to court looking o so fabulous. I plead guilty with an explanation. I didn't say anything about leaving the trade's house but I did mention being tired and apologized to "all of the citizens of the commonwealth for putting them in danger." The judge has involuntarily enrolled me in driving school the first three Wednesdays in June and collected 200 coins from me. I have final sentencing on August 4th.
I met a 6'5" mailman and did the do with him. More on him later.
DC Pride. I have made a conscious decision to avoid all pride activities for the last 2 years due to it just being so out of the norm for DC activities. This year I made an exception. I needed to let off some steam. I started my activities on Friday at the Fireplace over in Dupont Circle. It was packed to the brim with a line outside. Who stands in line to get into the Fireplace??!! That place has always been on the "bottom" of my party list but the drinks are cheap and definitely do the trick. I first ran into a couple of trannies outside who wished me a Happy Pride. Then this spanish queen tried to get my number at the traffic light as I was trying to cross P street. Then I saw my friend Ronald who gave me a big hug and we caught up with each other while standing in line. Auuuggh, a line at the Fireplace?? Finally got inside and gave them my coins. It was so packed I couldnt even get to the bar. So I checked out the boys. It was cute. Saw this Sigma dude I use to fuck with. He ruined my evening, stalking my ass. After I got tired of him I left. This muthafucka is still texting me, and calling me to this day. So damn desperate. I hate that shit.
I left the Fireplace and went to the legendary Bachelor's Mill. I know it is not the most fabulous place in DC but it turns it every now and then for me. It was jammed packed and I danced my ass off. I sweated like I had played in a NBA championship game. I met some cute boys, and got the numbers of course.
On Saturday, I got up and did some shopping. H&M, Urban Outfitters, American Eagle, etc. I'm not much of a shoe person. I did try to find some shoes but as usual I left empty handed on shoes. I saw this trade at the shoe store. Thats probably the reason why I couldnt find shoes, I was too busy looking at him, lol
Sunday was brunch with my family. It was cute and the food was over. My new brother, (my former brother-in-law) cooked his ass off. If I wasn't still slightly hungover from the Delta I would have ate up all of that food!
Monday was a extended family pic nic. All of us Blues, Lees and many many others met at Anacostia park. We ate, laughed, kee-keeyed, read each other for blood, and just all around had a perfect time. Even in the rain it was still over.
Tuesday was back to bullshit. Alas!!!!!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
An at home Kee-Kee
Hello All! Looks like I will never catch up on these blogs. Just not enough time. For those of you who read my last entry, you know I traveled back to my home state to celebrate mother's day with my mother. When I am at home, I stay with my grandmother basically because that's where I am most comfortable when I go home. My grandmother just like so many others, has a hand in raising her grandchildren. She has been raising children for a very long time. Her oldest child is 50 years old. Now she keeps my two youngest cousins while her daughter is at work, Wesley, 9 years old, and Terilyn, 1 year, 5 months old.
For the couple of days I was home, Terilyn was the first thing I would see in the morning. She would greet me by climbing in the bed and popping me in the head as hard as she could. I flipped her ass on the floor the first morning she bopped my ass. But just like the rest of us she is a fighter. She didn't cry, picked her self up and kept it moving like nothing happened. She has just started to get a grasp on the English language. Shit, I'm 28 and barely got a grasp on it. She can say candy, bread, dog, meat, drink, you know little simple things. Its so cute. I am so amazed. I miss out on so much.
Anyways, on the last day of my visit, she comes in the room but this time I am already awake. I say hey Terilyn, she says hey and waves her hand. I am watching the news and she glances at the tv for a bit. At that point I can smell that she has messed her diaper. I say, "Terilyn, you stink." She looks at me smiles and walks off. Two minutes later, she comes back pullling my grandmother by the hand. My grandmother is lost saying what, what do you want little girl?? I'm still laying in the bed. Terilyn and my grandmother are now standing at the foot of the bed. Terilyn looks at me, then she looks at my grandmother and says..........
"I shitted."
I KEY- KEEEYED!!!!!! I know she learned that language from my grandmother. She is a curser. We all learned it from her. Even she had to laugh at that one.
For the couple of days I was home, Terilyn was the first thing I would see in the morning. She would greet me by climbing in the bed and popping me in the head as hard as she could. I flipped her ass on the floor the first morning she bopped my ass. But just like the rest of us she is a fighter. She didn't cry, picked her self up and kept it moving like nothing happened. She has just started to get a grasp on the English language. Shit, I'm 28 and barely got a grasp on it. She can say candy, bread, dog, meat, drink, you know little simple things. Its so cute. I am so amazed. I miss out on so much.
Anyways, on the last day of my visit, she comes in the room but this time I am already awake. I say hey Terilyn, she says hey and waves her hand. I am watching the news and she glances at the tv for a bit. At that point I can smell that she has messed her diaper. I say, "Terilyn, you stink." She looks at me smiles and walks off. Two minutes later, she comes back pullling my grandmother by the hand. My grandmother is lost saying what, what do you want little girl?? I'm still laying in the bed. Terilyn and my grandmother are now standing at the foot of the bed. Terilyn looks at me, then she looks at my grandmother and says..........
"I shitted."
I KEY- KEEEYED!!!!!! I know she learned that language from my grandmother. She is a curser. We all learned it from her. Even she had to laugh at that one.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Back Home
Hello All!!! I've been trying my best to catch up on my posts. So many things are floating around in my head and I am trying my best to get them out. On May 8th I flew back home to Alabama to try and surprise my mother for mother's day. That shit didn't work. She was told I was coming before I even left Baltimore. She called me all excited about me coming telling me what all we were going to do when I got there. I was pissed that she knew but tried to play it off.
This was once again suppose to be a payed trip courtesy of Denise, one of my family friends. The key word in that last sentence is suppose but it ended up coming out of my pocket. Her dad died the Sunday before I was scheduled to leave so I know her mind was elsewhere. Denise is the second black pharmacist I have ever met in my life. She's about 10 years older than me. We met when I worked for Rite Aide down in Montgomery, Alabama back in 2003. We hit it off instantly and have been good friends ever since. She has since then purchased a beautiful home, a nice Lincoln and even had a baby. Just like so many other professional black women she has trouble getting and keeping a man. We have had countless long conversations about that. As irony would have it she has started to come on to me. She and her sister came up for the inaguration and I noticed how close she was sitting to me and all the pictures she was getting of us together. I was so uncomfortable. Her sister finally told me what was going on and with me not wanting to hurt my good friends feelings I've kept quiet about it. Her sister has started calling me brother-in-law. Damn, bitch can't remember my name just that quick. I've had my share of pussy from back in the day but I can't ever imaging fucking Denise.
It was a calm 64 degrees when I left Baltimore. It was 87 fucking degrees when I landed in Birmingham. Having been away from home for as long as I have I am still having problems remembering what the weather is like there. As soon as I got off the plane walking down the little ramp to go claim my baggage every pore in my fucking body opened up and poured out gallons of sweat. I was so over it. I rented me a car and left for the hour and a half drive to my hometown.
Alabama is truly a beautiful state. There are only two places in this entire country that make me feel so alive and full of hope. The first is my hometown and the second is New York City. I am from a very small town and the closer you get to it, the closer the trees start to get to the road. Your ass will be in a ditch with the quickness if you are not watching what you are doing. I stopped at a fish farm on the way to pick up some catfish and went grocery shopping. My grandmother can cook her ass off. My stomach was ready for some down home food since I landed. It was turning all kinds of flips. Damn, I really miss that home cooking. When I got to my grandmother's house no one was there except for my cousin Al.
Al is seven years younger than me and has truly turned out to be a handsome man. He is about 6'1, and 185lbs of solid muscle. He was in the front yard washing his car. For his high school graduation three years ago his father bought him a black Dodge Charger. Al has really fixed that car up. He has added rims, spoilers, front grill and all other types of enhancements that you see on every charger in the South. I am so proud of him. When we were kids I use to pick his ass up and sling him all across the room, throw him on the ground, pick with him while he was sleep, sticking my finger in his ear. I was a little terror to him and it was all because I was jealous. I was jealous that his skin was light, his hair was curly, and he had his father in his life. I was jealous because he was athletic and I wasn't. But I look at him now and am so proud. He handles his own business, works, goes to school and doesn't have any children yet. He drinks like I do and in 3 months he will turn 21 and be able to get his own alcohol. I pray that he doesn't take it too far like I do on occassion.
My grandmother and Al's mother (my favorite Auntie) had left to go grocery shopping. They showed up not too long later with all kinds of food. My grandmother has an old '94 Cadillac. She looked damn good driving it too. I love my granny so much! They too had bought some fish. When I go home its just like I never left. I slide right back into old routines and conversations with the family. My grandmother has the typical Southern woman's house. Old pictures everywhere, antique furniture, the works. Everyone shows up there eventually. My mother came bringing all her dramatics. She is so over the top. Pinching my cheeks, feeling my ass to see how much weight I gained, kissing me, etc.; just a mess. They cooked and I even chipped in and made a cake. Overcooked it while catching up with family but they ate it. If they didn't like it trust me, they would have told me. My family holds nothing back. I ate till my belly swelled up like a tick, and took my ass to sleep. Its hard to sleep there because my grandmother's house is always jumping with family, other children, noise, family friends. It doesn't start to calm down in there till around 10 o'clock at night. There is so much love in that house.
On Saturday, I got up and went to Denises' father's funeral to pay my respects. I had never met the man before. It was held at a small church. Denise is one of 14 children so it was packed in there. People gave such wonderful memories of the deceased. The boy's were so over! I am the type of person who cannot do funerals. I cry at the drop of a dime and this was no exception. I never could hold it together at funerals. Afterwards we ate like good old fools. Collard greens, turnip greens, mac and cheese, ribs, sweet potato pie, all the food we southerners enjoy. All the shit that will eventually clog up your arteries. I know how to cook all that shit being taught how to cook by my grandmother. One of these days I'm going to have to reprogram my mind on how to cook healthier. I left there to go visit my grandmother on my dad's side. She is 80 now with Alzheimer's. I learned that she had moved in with one of my aunts in a different county. So, I ended up visiting my one of my dad's oldest sisters and my favorite aunt on his side. The only thing different is now she has gray hair around her temples. We hugged for eternity and caught up with each other. I told her how hard life is for me trying to work, go to school, get loans for school and the whatnot. From the kindness of her heart she handed me a 100 dollar bill. I lost it again and cried. She told me if I needed anything just to let her know.
Sunday was a typical day. A huge breakfast and church all day being that it was Mother's Day. My pastor made me stand up at the end of service. He always embarrases me when I am home. A young man joined my church at this service. He was the graduating valedictorian of his class from my old high school. My pastor mentioned how the church has had several people to graduate with honors and happened to see me. Made me stand up and was like you graduated salutatorian didn't you. "Yes sir I did." He went on bragging then asked when would I finish. I told him December, everyone clapped. Then he said, "What year did you graduate high school?" "1999." I could collectively hear a gasp. Then he said, "Its been that long?" I could have crawled around in horse shit at that moment. After church, we ate once again and then went to a church singing. It was cute. There are so many gays in the church. There was this one directing the hell out of the choir. They sang they ass off. Then my pastor came on stage and sang one of my songs that always put me over the edge. Once again, I couldn't hold it together and broke out crying. My mom and grandmother were with me. My grandmother saw me going at it and she broke out in a shout. That just made me worse. My mother wasn't paying either of us any attention, lol. She not going to mess up her makeup.
Monday rolled around and it was time to go. I had a ball. It was so good seeing everyone. But, it was time to head back to DC for work and school.
This was once again suppose to be a payed trip courtesy of Denise, one of my family friends. The key word in that last sentence is suppose but it ended up coming out of my pocket. Her dad died the Sunday before I was scheduled to leave so I know her mind was elsewhere. Denise is the second black pharmacist I have ever met in my life. She's about 10 years older than me. We met when I worked for Rite Aide down in Montgomery, Alabama back in 2003. We hit it off instantly and have been good friends ever since. She has since then purchased a beautiful home, a nice Lincoln and even had a baby. Just like so many other professional black women she has trouble getting and keeping a man. We have had countless long conversations about that. As irony would have it she has started to come on to me. She and her sister came up for the inaguration and I noticed how close she was sitting to me and all the pictures she was getting of us together. I was so uncomfortable. Her sister finally told me what was going on and with me not wanting to hurt my good friends feelings I've kept quiet about it. Her sister has started calling me brother-in-law. Damn, bitch can't remember my name just that quick. I've had my share of pussy from back in the day but I can't ever imaging fucking Denise.
It was a calm 64 degrees when I left Baltimore. It was 87 fucking degrees when I landed in Birmingham. Having been away from home for as long as I have I am still having problems remembering what the weather is like there. As soon as I got off the plane walking down the little ramp to go claim my baggage every pore in my fucking body opened up and poured out gallons of sweat. I was so over it. I rented me a car and left for the hour and a half drive to my hometown.
Alabama is truly a beautiful state. There are only two places in this entire country that make me feel so alive and full of hope. The first is my hometown and the second is New York City. I am from a very small town and the closer you get to it, the closer the trees start to get to the road. Your ass will be in a ditch with the quickness if you are not watching what you are doing. I stopped at a fish farm on the way to pick up some catfish and went grocery shopping. My grandmother can cook her ass off. My stomach was ready for some down home food since I landed. It was turning all kinds of flips. Damn, I really miss that home cooking. When I got to my grandmother's house no one was there except for my cousin Al.
Al is seven years younger than me and has truly turned out to be a handsome man. He is about 6'1, and 185lbs of solid muscle. He was in the front yard washing his car. For his high school graduation three years ago his father bought him a black Dodge Charger. Al has really fixed that car up. He has added rims, spoilers, front grill and all other types of enhancements that you see on every charger in the South. I am so proud of him. When we were kids I use to pick his ass up and sling him all across the room, throw him on the ground, pick with him while he was sleep, sticking my finger in his ear. I was a little terror to him and it was all because I was jealous. I was jealous that his skin was light, his hair was curly, and he had his father in his life. I was jealous because he was athletic and I wasn't. But I look at him now and am so proud. He handles his own business, works, goes to school and doesn't have any children yet. He drinks like I do and in 3 months he will turn 21 and be able to get his own alcohol. I pray that he doesn't take it too far like I do on occassion.
My grandmother and Al's mother (my favorite Auntie) had left to go grocery shopping. They showed up not too long later with all kinds of food. My grandmother has an old '94 Cadillac. She looked damn good driving it too. I love my granny so much! They too had bought some fish. When I go home its just like I never left. I slide right back into old routines and conversations with the family. My grandmother has the typical Southern woman's house. Old pictures everywhere, antique furniture, the works. Everyone shows up there eventually. My mother came bringing all her dramatics. She is so over the top. Pinching my cheeks, feeling my ass to see how much weight I gained, kissing me, etc.; just a mess. They cooked and I even chipped in and made a cake. Overcooked it while catching up with family but they ate it. If they didn't like it trust me, they would have told me. My family holds nothing back. I ate till my belly swelled up like a tick, and took my ass to sleep. Its hard to sleep there because my grandmother's house is always jumping with family, other children, noise, family friends. It doesn't start to calm down in there till around 10 o'clock at night. There is so much love in that house.
On Saturday, I got up and went to Denises' father's funeral to pay my respects. I had never met the man before. It was held at a small church. Denise is one of 14 children so it was packed in there. People gave such wonderful memories of the deceased. The boy's were so over! I am the type of person who cannot do funerals. I cry at the drop of a dime and this was no exception. I never could hold it together at funerals. Afterwards we ate like good old fools. Collard greens, turnip greens, mac and cheese, ribs, sweet potato pie, all the food we southerners enjoy. All the shit that will eventually clog up your arteries. I know how to cook all that shit being taught how to cook by my grandmother. One of these days I'm going to have to reprogram my mind on how to cook healthier. I left there to go visit my grandmother on my dad's side. She is 80 now with Alzheimer's. I learned that she had moved in with one of my aunts in a different county. So, I ended up visiting my one of my dad's oldest sisters and my favorite aunt on his side. The only thing different is now she has gray hair around her temples. We hugged for eternity and caught up with each other. I told her how hard life is for me trying to work, go to school, get loans for school and the whatnot. From the kindness of her heart she handed me a 100 dollar bill. I lost it again and cried. She told me if I needed anything just to let her know.
Sunday was a typical day. A huge breakfast and church all day being that it was Mother's Day. My pastor made me stand up at the end of service. He always embarrases me when I am home. A young man joined my church at this service. He was the graduating valedictorian of his class from my old high school. My pastor mentioned how the church has had several people to graduate with honors and happened to see me. Made me stand up and was like you graduated salutatorian didn't you. "Yes sir I did." He went on bragging then asked when would I finish. I told him December, everyone clapped. Then he said, "What year did you graduate high school?" "1999." I could collectively hear a gasp. Then he said, "Its been that long?" I could have crawled around in horse shit at that moment. After church, we ate once again and then went to a church singing. It was cute. There are so many gays in the church. There was this one directing the hell out of the choir. They sang they ass off. Then my pastor came on stage and sang one of my songs that always put me over the edge. Once again, I couldn't hold it together and broke out crying. My mom and grandmother were with me. My grandmother saw me going at it and she broke out in a shout. That just made me worse. My mother wasn't paying either of us any attention, lol. She not going to mess up her makeup.
Monday rolled around and it was time to go. I had a ball. It was so good seeing everyone. But, it was time to head back to DC for work and school.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The African
Hello All!!! I find myself with another day to myself. No school, no work so I decided to stay home (I'm on a budget, pray for me), and catch up on my blog/diary.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've found myself in the company of bottoms. From my trade bottom, drug dealer bottom and another bottom I've been fucking with over a year or so, I've been slinging some dick. With the rising temperature here, I found myself needing a good fucking. So, I went out and found some dick.
Met this African trade. 6'4", 22 years old. Based on just his height and nationality, I knew I would get my inner freak fed and some more. I invited him over last night. He showed up dressed like he just left the club. He had on his fitted and the typical baggy clothes these boys wear. He came in and took his shoes off at the door. (There is only 1 reason for me to be on my hands and knees and it is not to clean carpet!) He plopped down on my couch while I went and fixed me a drink. I offered him something and he asked what did I have. I said soda. (Henny if for me and me only). I joined him on the couch and we chatted a bit while watching the Color Purple on TV One. The Color Purple is my second favorite movie of all time, right behind Whats Love Got to Do With It. He excussed himself to the bathroom returning with his jeans unzipped. I layed my head on his chest and soon the whore in me kicked in. My hand somehow found its way into his open zipper to feel his dick. It instantly jumped to attention. (Being 22 has its benefits, lol). I didn't waste no time pulling it out. And I was surprised!!!!!!
I held in my hand a 7 no more than 7.5 inch hard dick! I thought, "O hell naw!" I was bout to kick his ass out. What am I going to do with that, I thought. Other than his height he had another physical characteristic that drew me to him. I am a sucker for dark skin. He has that beautiful black pearl skin that my trade bottom also has. I found myself gently rubbing my fingers on his skin in total awe and amazement. I put my head game to work. He was cheesing like a muthafucka. He pulled me off and said, "Ride it"
I dont beleive in taking my clothes off for less than 8 inches. But I thought, what the hell, my body needs a good fucking. Grabbed the lube and condoms and got into posistion. Riding dick is not a position I like. I can't remember the last time I rode some dick. Put me on my stomach, or back. Those are my favorites. Climbed on and went to work. I grabbed both sides of the chest and tried to beat the hell of of him. First for coming here with a little dick and second for asking me to ride it! Soon, I found myself actually enjoying the moment. I got the chance to watch his facial epressions and he was in pure ectasy. Mouth hanging open, altered breathing, all that shit. Or maybe he was having a seizure!? Anyway, I gave my inner freak a little more space. I leaned back put my hands on his thighs and rode that dick like I was lip-synching for my life!!! But that muthafucka had plans of his own. This 6"4' muthafucka, black pearl skinned muthafucka, little dick African muthafucka, picked me up, flipped me on my back, all without missing a beat. Dick stayed in place the whole time. (Now thats a true skill for a little dicked muthafucka). Pinned my muthafucking legs down and beat it down. I was so over it. I broke out in a sweat. Looked down and found my own dick leaking like a fucking faucet. He got this sly look on his face and brought it home. We cleaned up, he got dressed and sat on the arm of my couch in all of his glory waiting for me to calm my chipper ass down. He knew he had me.
We exhcanged more pleasantries. He gave me a hug and squeezed my ass. His phone rang as he was walking out the door. As with any other one night stand, he said he'd "get up with me." LOL, heard it before. Anyway, I found myself reflecting on my moment of bliss. I am still feeling good. Went to bed wet. Whether I see him again or not this expereice was one for the record book. Some people are forgettable but this one wasn't, little dick and all. He is one of a very few who can still get it working with what he has. I consulted about my experience with one of the elders of the gay community. I didn't understand why the sex was as good as it was given the "little" problem. He said something that made alot of sense. He said, "Child, a man with a little dick already knows he has alot to prove. He knows you've had bigger. But he has to quickly learn how to work with what he has if he wants to continue to get layed and stay in this game. Little dicked men will do whatever it takes to make sure his partner is satisfied, from using his tongue to toys or whatever. They don't talk all that shit we usually hear. They let the dick do the talking, but thats only if they are totally secure with what they are working with."
Well, let me say, this muthafucka is totally secure and more!!! He can always get it! Until next time.....Peace
Over the past couple of weeks, I've found myself in the company of bottoms. From my trade bottom, drug dealer bottom and another bottom I've been fucking with over a year or so, I've been slinging some dick. With the rising temperature here, I found myself needing a good fucking. So, I went out and found some dick.
Met this African trade. 6'4", 22 years old. Based on just his height and nationality, I knew I would get my inner freak fed and some more. I invited him over last night. He showed up dressed like he just left the club. He had on his fitted and the typical baggy clothes these boys wear. He came in and took his shoes off at the door. (There is only 1 reason for me to be on my hands and knees and it is not to clean carpet!) He plopped down on my couch while I went and fixed me a drink. I offered him something and he asked what did I have. I said soda. (Henny if for me and me only). I joined him on the couch and we chatted a bit while watching the Color Purple on TV One. The Color Purple is my second favorite movie of all time, right behind Whats Love Got to Do With It. He excussed himself to the bathroom returning with his jeans unzipped. I layed my head on his chest and soon the whore in me kicked in. My hand somehow found its way into his open zipper to feel his dick. It instantly jumped to attention. (Being 22 has its benefits, lol). I didn't waste no time pulling it out. And I was surprised!!!!!!
I held in my hand a 7 no more than 7.5 inch hard dick! I thought, "O hell naw!" I was bout to kick his ass out. What am I going to do with that, I thought. Other than his height he had another physical characteristic that drew me to him. I am a sucker for dark skin. He has that beautiful black pearl skin that my trade bottom also has. I found myself gently rubbing my fingers on his skin in total awe and amazement. I put my head game to work. He was cheesing like a muthafucka. He pulled me off and said, "Ride it"
I dont beleive in taking my clothes off for less than 8 inches. But I thought, what the hell, my body needs a good fucking. Grabbed the lube and condoms and got into posistion. Riding dick is not a position I like. I can't remember the last time I rode some dick. Put me on my stomach, or back. Those are my favorites. Climbed on and went to work. I grabbed both sides of the chest and tried to beat the hell of of him. First for coming here with a little dick and second for asking me to ride it! Soon, I found myself actually enjoying the moment. I got the chance to watch his facial epressions and he was in pure ectasy. Mouth hanging open, altered breathing, all that shit. Or maybe he was having a seizure!? Anyway, I gave my inner freak a little more space. I leaned back put my hands on his thighs and rode that dick like I was lip-synching for my life!!! But that muthafucka had plans of his own. This 6"4' muthafucka, black pearl skinned muthafucka, little dick African muthafucka, picked me up, flipped me on my back, all without missing a beat. Dick stayed in place the whole time. (Now thats a true skill for a little dicked muthafucka). Pinned my muthafucking legs down and beat it down. I was so over it. I broke out in a sweat. Looked down and found my own dick leaking like a fucking faucet. He got this sly look on his face and brought it home. We cleaned up, he got dressed and sat on the arm of my couch in all of his glory waiting for me to calm my chipper ass down. He knew he had me.
We exhcanged more pleasantries. He gave me a hug and squeezed my ass. His phone rang as he was walking out the door. As with any other one night stand, he said he'd "get up with me." LOL, heard it before. Anyway, I found myself reflecting on my moment of bliss. I am still feeling good. Went to bed wet. Whether I see him again or not this expereice was one for the record book. Some people are forgettable but this one wasn't, little dick and all. He is one of a very few who can still get it working with what he has. I consulted about my experience with one of the elders of the gay community. I didn't understand why the sex was as good as it was given the "little" problem. He said something that made alot of sense. He said, "Child, a man with a little dick already knows he has alot to prove. He knows you've had bigger. But he has to quickly learn how to work with what he has if he wants to continue to get layed and stay in this game. Little dicked men will do whatever it takes to make sure his partner is satisfied, from using his tongue to toys or whatever. They don't talk all that shit we usually hear. They let the dick do the talking, but thats only if they are totally secure with what they are working with."
Well, let me say, this muthafucka is totally secure and more!!! He can always get it! Until next time.....Peace
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
BET's College Hill/CVS Pharmacy Service
Hello All!!! I miss blogging so much. Its been such a relief to get shit off my mind. I got so much to talk about with so little time. Have you all been watching College Hill South Beach. It is the key-keeyy!!! Honey, that faggot thing on there named Kyle has been reading them bitches hard. Reminds me of how I use to act when I was 16 and 17. I use to go off with the quickness back then. Every now and then, I change right back into that younger me, lol.
Anyway, if you haven't been watching it, one of the bitches named Katherine ate some ribs Kyle cooked for himself. She waited till he fell asleep and took his shit. I was pissed for him. He read her so hard that I screamed for joy. YESSSSSS. Kyle has been reading since the first episode. I give him major props. You got to let it be known cause people will run all over you if you let them. People smell weakness.
For example, our district manager was at work today with everyone walking around on pins and needles. Not me! I have one degree and am now working on a doctorate. Fire me!!! I don't really give a damn. You can take a job but you can't take knowledge. I learned from my days at Wal-Mart. They can tell when you really need a job and will work the hell out of you knowing you can't really take being jobless. Not me. After I got my bachelor's degree, I let it be known when I was recruited what my expectations were and what I was going to do. You see, with a simple piece of paper, that says I graduated magna cum laude with a B.S. in Biology I can write my own way. From that point on, I never worried about a job. Shit, I was recruited for a change!!! I had people wanting to hire me!!!! They looked for me!!!! CVS asked me to work for them. I never even filled out a fucking application for that job. I showed up and they started training me.
Anyway, the pharmacist left to go on a lunch break. The bitch was gone all of 5 minutes before some old bitch started complaining about where the fuck is her prescription. She started with Ms. Edith who is a sweetheart. She complained about how she was told it was going to take an hour to fill and its already been an hour. Our computer system keeps count of how long its been since a prescription has been put in to be processed. I took a look and it had been 25 minutes. Now granted I don't believe it should take more than 15 minutes to fill any prescription. Thats my belief. I am not the pharmacist yet so I have to play by the rules of the supervising pharmacist and she believes in 45 minutes to an hour for a prescription. At that point though, she was on a break and by federal law, a prescription is not to leave a pharmacy without a licensed pharmacist there to check the prescription and be available for questioning. The lady's prescription was ready and basically waiting to be checked by the pharmacist.
I informed Ms. Edith of the situation. Ms. Edith informed the customer who continuted to rant and rave about her prescription. At first I ignored it but I truly have a soft spot for my coworkers. I can't leave them out there hanging by themselves. I know each of their situations and with me being born in my situation and having worked my way up from the bottom, I have been in situations where I could not say something based on what might happen. Since I have a degree to back me up, I am free to do as I please. I said, "Ms. Edith, ask her if she wants her prescription back so she can go somewhere else and wait again or do she wanna sit down and wait for our pharmacist to check it?" The bitch shut the fuck up and sat down. Case solved. People, it is not that serious. We were 3 people short and are a very busy place. We fill over 500 prescriptions a day!
So, of course the district manager heard everything that went on. He fixed his face and mouth to say, "We do not ask our customers if they want their prescription back." Thats when my other side showed up and my neck turned around so fast. I said, "Our pharmacist is on a break. Do you want me to check it? There is nothing Ms. Edith or myself can do when the pharmacist is on a break. She is the only person in this store licensed to do that". He pulls that Uncle Tom shit saying we can pull the pharmacist off her break to check a prescription. O no hell!! I hope he don't expect that shit from me cause he and that customer will be out of fucking luck! I know he didn't expect me to walk to the breakroom and get the pharmacist. This is Washington, District of fucking Columbia. There are over 600,000 residents in this city. We are busy from the time we open until we close. I continued doing what I was doing after my little chat with the DM. Ms. Edith had a little smirk on her face and she silently mouthed, "Thank you".
I know that people chooses different paths to take in life. I know everyone is not cut out to go to college or have extreme circumstances that prevent them from doing so. I watched my grandparents and parents work hard for just enough to get by. My grandmother has never had a brand new car in her life. Did you hear me, IN HER LIFE!!!! Honey, I am made out of something different from the average nigga. I am not the smartest bitch in the bunch but I have an undying faith in the man above and a willpower to match. I refuse to be treated like a piece of shit. I refuse to be pushed around. Either beat my ass or get out the way! I always knew I would have a job where shit would be done my way. And I am truly happy to know that if I want to walk the fuck out of my job, I can do that and not have one single regret or worry. I will have a degree this coming December in a field where there is a critical shortage. And based on current statistics, that shortage is to last thorough 2030. 20 fucking 30. That gives me the opportunity to pick wherever the fuck I wanna go. That puts my skills in demand. This has been a long and hard road but truly worth it.
Any other bitch would have been written up for telling a customer they can go elsewhere. I still don't have one single writeup in my file after 5 yeras of service. Thank you God, Alabama A&M University, and finally Howard University. HU!!!!
Anyway, if you haven't been watching it, one of the bitches named Katherine ate some ribs Kyle cooked for himself. She waited till he fell asleep and took his shit. I was pissed for him. He read her so hard that I screamed for joy. YESSSSSS. Kyle has been reading since the first episode. I give him major props. You got to let it be known cause people will run all over you if you let them. People smell weakness.
For example, our district manager was at work today with everyone walking around on pins and needles. Not me! I have one degree and am now working on a doctorate. Fire me!!! I don't really give a damn. You can take a job but you can't take knowledge. I learned from my days at Wal-Mart. They can tell when you really need a job and will work the hell out of you knowing you can't really take being jobless. Not me. After I got my bachelor's degree, I let it be known when I was recruited what my expectations were and what I was going to do. You see, with a simple piece of paper, that says I graduated magna cum laude with a B.S. in Biology I can write my own way. From that point on, I never worried about a job. Shit, I was recruited for a change!!! I had people wanting to hire me!!!! They looked for me!!!! CVS asked me to work for them. I never even filled out a fucking application for that job. I showed up and they started training me.
Anyway, the pharmacist left to go on a lunch break. The bitch was gone all of 5 minutes before some old bitch started complaining about where the fuck is her prescription. She started with Ms. Edith who is a sweetheart. She complained about how she was told it was going to take an hour to fill and its already been an hour. Our computer system keeps count of how long its been since a prescription has been put in to be processed. I took a look and it had been 25 minutes. Now granted I don't believe it should take more than 15 minutes to fill any prescription. Thats my belief. I am not the pharmacist yet so I have to play by the rules of the supervising pharmacist and she believes in 45 minutes to an hour for a prescription. At that point though, she was on a break and by federal law, a prescription is not to leave a pharmacy without a licensed pharmacist there to check the prescription and be available for questioning. The lady's prescription was ready and basically waiting to be checked by the pharmacist.
I informed Ms. Edith of the situation. Ms. Edith informed the customer who continuted to rant and rave about her prescription. At first I ignored it but I truly have a soft spot for my coworkers. I can't leave them out there hanging by themselves. I know each of their situations and with me being born in my situation and having worked my way up from the bottom, I have been in situations where I could not say something based on what might happen. Since I have a degree to back me up, I am free to do as I please. I said, "Ms. Edith, ask her if she wants her prescription back so she can go somewhere else and wait again or do she wanna sit down and wait for our pharmacist to check it?" The bitch shut the fuck up and sat down. Case solved. People, it is not that serious. We were 3 people short and are a very busy place. We fill over 500 prescriptions a day!
So, of course the district manager heard everything that went on. He fixed his face and mouth to say, "We do not ask our customers if they want their prescription back." Thats when my other side showed up and my neck turned around so fast. I said, "Our pharmacist is on a break. Do you want me to check it? There is nothing Ms. Edith or myself can do when the pharmacist is on a break. She is the only person in this store licensed to do that". He pulls that Uncle Tom shit saying we can pull the pharmacist off her break to check a prescription. O no hell!! I hope he don't expect that shit from me cause he and that customer will be out of fucking luck! I know he didn't expect me to walk to the breakroom and get the pharmacist. This is Washington, District of fucking Columbia. There are over 600,000 residents in this city. We are busy from the time we open until we close. I continued doing what I was doing after my little chat with the DM. Ms. Edith had a little smirk on her face and she silently mouthed, "Thank you".
I know that people chooses different paths to take in life. I know everyone is not cut out to go to college or have extreme circumstances that prevent them from doing so. I watched my grandparents and parents work hard for just enough to get by. My grandmother has never had a brand new car in her life. Did you hear me, IN HER LIFE!!!! Honey, I am made out of something different from the average nigga. I am not the smartest bitch in the bunch but I have an undying faith in the man above and a willpower to match. I refuse to be treated like a piece of shit. I refuse to be pushed around. Either beat my ass or get out the way! I always knew I would have a job where shit would be done my way. And I am truly happy to know that if I want to walk the fuck out of my job, I can do that and not have one single regret or worry. I will have a degree this coming December in a field where there is a critical shortage. And based on current statistics, that shortage is to last thorough 2030. 20 fucking 30. That gives me the opportunity to pick wherever the fuck I wanna go. That puts my skills in demand. This has been a long and hard road but truly worth it.
Any other bitch would have been written up for telling a customer they can go elsewhere. I still don't have one single writeup in my file after 5 yeras of service. Thank you God, Alabama A&M University, and finally Howard University. HU!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)