I must be some kind of sugar mama???

Hello All. I've been in some kind of relationship now for 2 months and 1 day. My husband decided to treat me yesterday to dinner. I thought it was odd since we didn't do anything special this time last month but I went along to get along as usual. We put our bickering aside and had a nice evening.

I was craving for an Annie's bacon cheeseburger. Yes, I had a cheeseburger for an anniversary dinner. As you all are aware I have no love for the DC food scene. This is not a food city and no place for a southern girl like me who has a love for eatting great food. I have a little over a year left before I will be able to kiss this place goodbye. After I finish my rotations and pass my boards, hopefully before the new year begins, I will be traveling all over this great country in an attempt to identify the next city I will be calling home and I will definitely be checking out the food in each city to gauge whether it would be a good place to call home. That's another thing I like about New York. You can never get tired of eatting in that city with restaraunts on every corner. There are so many different cultures of people there that it is like eatting in a different part of the world everyday. With DC, I have yet to find a favorite place to eat. But, during my tenure in this city, I have fallen in love with cheeseburger's from Annie's.

Annie's is a gay friendly steakhouse located in the gayest section of the city. Its located on 17th street northwest in the midst of numerous other eateries, clubs, and bars. The first time I held a guy's hand in public was on this street. Its a place where I truly feel free to be myself and not worry about being looked at as different. The staff is super friendly and the drinks are something that sneaks up on you. They also have a wine list with numerous words I can't pronounce. This is one time my southern roots make me feel like a complete idiot. I know nothing about wine except that the grape juice my church serves at communion is called wine. I am an eager learner and have found myself yearning for finer things in life, things that are different and unique. Of course this is a white establishment but it is one place that always treats me as its number one customer on each visit. I even showed up there once in full drag with some friends and was still treated with the utmost respect. Fat Joe was even seen once eatting there.

So, I ordered my cheeseburger and I have forgotten what my husband ordered. I started my drinks with a Downtown Manhattan and my husband had a Margaritta on the rocks. My drink was okay but my husband's drink served!!! We ordered two more of those. My best friend stopped by to say hello making the evening even better. The food was great and I was soon stuffed. We left there and went over on U Street to Nellie's Sports bar in hopes on playing Bingo. My drag grandmother AlleyCat Blue, and aunt Sofia Bouvier Carrington were hosting. We got there just as they were finishing up. So we went upstairs to the outside rooftop, chatted and watched the stars and passing cars. To me it was a beautiful evening.

Now, the reason for this post. After such a beautiful evening, my husband and I made our way home and cuddled up on the couch. I noticed a text message on my phone from the 19 year old. I've talked about him before. This little boy gave me some of the best dick I've had in a while. I haven't seen him in over a month and I told him I had a man so it was strange to see a text message from him. The first thing that went through my mind is that he must be in some kind of trouble. Since I've met him, he has been in a very unstable situation. He moves about alot, and has been forced to sleep wherever someone will take him in. He is another brother who is lost and it pains me to see him in the struggle. He has no job or job prospects, his beloved grandmother died and I don't know whats going on with his current family situation since he refuses to talk about it. He basically told me that once again he will be put out. First he asked to borrow some money but come on, you have no job so he could have just asked for some money. I asked how much did he need and he asked how much can I spare. This is where I got pissed because I saw that I was being taken for a fool. Then he asked if he could stay with me until he "gets himself together."

If I wasn't in a relationship, or had my husband here all the time I would have said yes. I think this young man is intelligent but yet needs direction. When I was 19, I was in college and spent most of my free time with my great-uncle and his wife. They fed me, washed my clothes and treated me as their son. Even to this day they still do that whenever I visit them. My uncle showed me how to bowl, took me fishing, and was there whenever I needed to talk. His wife stepped in with money whenever I needed it and gave me love even though she wasn't my blood relative. The 19 year old is hilarious in my opinion and I wanted him to go down to the DC Improv to start a career in comedy because I truly see the beginnings of a great. He has a gift that need a little nurturing and he needs a break from life itself. I truly wish I could have provided a roof over his head and could help him but if I want this relationship I'm in to survive I can't move in a dick I still have cravings for.

So what is a good faggot to do? And why am I finding myself being a sugar mama lately? I got one nigga here already in a similar situation as the 19 year old. I thank God that I have learned how to budget money. My mom got me a checking account when I turned 16 and my money skill have only gotten better over the years. But how far can I stretch what I have? How many people can I help? When is enough really enough? But when I need help its like talking to a wall. My board exams will be expensive and a full 5 months before I will be taking them I already know I won't have the money. Who is going to step in to help me?

I'm going to keep him in my prayers and wish the best for him. But I truly wish I could help him. I worry about him. I wonder if he's hungry? Maybe I should call to check on him or maybe I should just leave it alone? DAMN!